What about morph?

Pedro: Joan, welcome to the show! Well, what do we have here?

Joan: Well, one of the more unique changes I’ve had in the last couple of weeks has been of a milky kind…

[Joan passes the jug of milk to Pedro.]

Pedro: I mean [he sniffs the jug] it smells slightly… different?

Joan: Yeah, let’s just say it’s a bit more… natural than other milk you’ve seen before.

Pedro: Is this… your milk?

Joan: Take a sip and find out! [Joan winks towards the audience.]

[Pedro takes a sip from the jug, mashing his lips.]

Pedro: This is crazy! It’s so… creamy!

Joan: There’s more where that came from. [Joan pats his pecs, laughing. The audience laughs as well.]

Pedro: So, safe to say we can tell the audience your not-so-little secret?

Joan: Yes! So… I’m pregnant!

[Joan cups his belly, to some gasps and eventual applause from the audience.]

Pedro: That is genuinely insane! How far along are you?

Joan: 36 weeks as of yesterday, so into the final month now!

Pedro: Wow, you already look so big though!

Joan: Yeah, the baby is a bit bigger than the doctors expected, but they said it’s because I’ve kept up with my regular bodybuilder diet.

Pedro: Which is already pretty intense to begin with, right?

Joan: Exactly! I mean… I may have also indulged in a bit more than normal, but it’s all for the baby, right?

[The audience laughs.]

Pedro: Gotta fulfil those cravings! Anyway, let’s get you sitting down - your feet must be killing you!

Joan: All. The. Time! My ankles have swollen up in the last couple of weeks, and that’s the least intense change that’s happened so far!

Pedro: Can only imagine! So Joan, this is all… a lot to take in! How are you actually feeling about becoming a dad, and especially, being the first man to do it?

Joan: Honestly, it’s surreal. There are days I wake up and still can’t quite believe it. But overwhelmingly, it’s pure excitement. Every kick, every little change in my body reminds me of this incredible journey. As for being the first… it's definitely a lot of pressure, but also an honor.

Pedro: What were those initial few weeks like when you first found out?

Joan: The initial weeks were a whirlwind of emotions. Shock, disbelief, then pure joy. My body started changing in ways I never anticipated, even with all my bodybuilding experience. It was a lot of doctor’s appointments, a lot of explaining, and a lot of adjusting to this new reality.

Pedro: I'm sure everyone watching is wondering the same thing… how did this even happen? How did you get pregnant?

Joan: Well, it's quite a story. I actually signed up for a drug trial a while back. You know, trying to be a good sport and help out with medical research. Let's just say I didn't exactly read all the fine print. I kinda found it difficult to back out from the whole experiment when I first experienced morning sickness, and then a couple of weeks later when I had the scan that confirmed I wasn’t faking it…

Pedro: Who got you into the trial in the first place?

Joan: Ha! Well, my girlfriend, Maria, thought it would be good for me to help her friend out with his research, so she suggested I sign up for it. I didn’t realise it was a fertility drug trial until much later, and even then I thought it was more to help ensure my… you know, swimmers… to do their thing!

[Joan and Pedro laugh. Joan then briefly groans as he feels a pretty sharp kick from the baby.]

Pedro: Seems your baby agrees!

Joan: Yeah, he’s been kicking so much, even in these last couple of weeks where things are getting tight in here. Clearly very excited to come out!

Pedro: Can we see what’s going on?

Joan: Of course!

[Joan peels his t-shirt up to show off his pregnancy belly. It’s round and perfectly stretch mark-free. The audience gasps in wonder as they see his belly ripple from the baby’s movement.]

Pedro: Whoa…

Joan: Crazy, right? He just swims around in there all the time. Sometimes, I just sit on the sofa and watch him move around. It’s pretty cool.

Pedro: Insane… guess he’ll be a football player? Just as sporty as his dad?

Joan: Haha, well who knows? I don’t know if I’ll be able to be as fit as I was before.

Pedro: What do you mean? We’ve seen women bounce back from their pregnancy bodies before. What’s stopping you?

Joan: Well, for starters, I’ve lost quite a bit of my musculature, so bodybuilding is out of the question. I’ve still got my arms, but my chest - forget about it, they’re getting ready to breastfeed! Waist? Widening to prepare for birth. Thighs? Chaffing every time I waddle. I feel like it will take me at least to recover from what is happening now, and that’s before I even think about trying to go back to the IFBB pro series.

Pedro: Stranger things have happened though… how have your fellow bodybuilders reacted to your pregnancy?

Joan: Well… I haven’t actually told any of them.

Pedro: Really? No one at the gym noticed your sudden bulk?

Joan: Not really. I kinda stopped going to a public gym at around 20 weeks, so they won’t have seen me blow up in size. At best, they will have seen me run to the bathroom during the morning sickness phase.

Pedro: Well, I guess this show is one way to explain why you’ve gone MIA?

Joan: That is true!!

Pedro: So, you gave us behind-the-scenes access to one of your ultrasounds. Should we have a look?

Joan: For sure! 

[Joan grunts as he turns towards a screen. The screen starts to play a scene where Joan waddles into his doctor’s office. His doctor explains that he’s here for his 30 week ultrasound. He lays down on a medical bench as the doctor squirts gel on his belly and uses an ultrasound wand.]

Doctor: Well, looks like the baby is growing as expected.

Joan: I sure hope so! He’s kicking up a storm all the time!

Doctor: It should slow down soon as he gets bigger, and then you’ll know it’s time to deliver!

Joan: Uff, can’t wait!

[The audience chuckles and hollers in support as it returns to Joan and Pedro.]

Pedro: How amazing, Joan! You're really paving the way for something extraordinary. Have you faced any discrimination or unique challenges since your pregnancy became known? I can only imagine some people might not understand.

Joan: You know, it's been a mixed bag. For every person who's been supportive and curious, there's been someone else who's been outright hostile or judgmental. I've had strangers stare, make comments, and even had a few online threats. It's tough, especially when you're already going through such a physically and emotionally demanding experience. But I try to focus on the positive, and on what this means for the future.

Pedro: And beyond the judgment, what about the physical toll? You've always been in peak physical condition. How has your body, as a man, adapted to carrying a baby? What are some of the unexpected physical side effects you've experienced?

Joan: It's been a wild ride, Pedro. The bodybuilder in me is constantly analysing the changes. Beyond the obvious weight gain and the growing belly, there's been so much more. My metabolism has shifted entirely, and I crave things I never would have touched before – pickles and ice cream, seriously! [The audience chuckles.] My joints feel looser, which is unnerving for someone used to such stability, and the fatigue... it's a whole new level. And the emotions! I've always been pretty even-keeled, but now I can go from ecstatic to sobbing over a commercial in minutes. It's truly a full-body and mind transformation, unlike anything I've ever experienced in training.

Pedro: And with all these changes, physically and emotionally, does it ever make you question your identity? Do you still feel like, fundamentally, a man?

Joan: That’s a really interesting question, Pedro. And honestly, it's something I've grappled with. There are definitely moments, especially when the hormones are raging or I'm feeling particularly vulnerable, where I feel a bit emasculated. But then I look down at my growing belly, feel those kicks, and I realise that this experience, while unique for a man, is making me even more of who I am. It's not taking away my masculinity; it's expanding it. I'm a father, and that feels incredibly strong and masculine to me. It's just a different kind of strength than I was used to.

Pedro: Hmm, wow… Okay, you right to stand back up again?

Joan: Sure, just give me a second.. [Joan grunts as he stands up and waddles towards the centre of the stage.]

Pedro: So, let's talk about the big day. Have you thought about how you're going to give birth? Do you have a birth plan in place for your son?

Joan: Oh, absolutely! It's probably the thing I've been thinking about most! Given that this is uncharted territory for male anatomy, and I don’t exactly have the right mechanics to give birth naturally, I’ve been working very closely with my medical team to figure out the safest way for me to deliver.

Pedro: So, a C-section then? Is that the only way?

Joan: That's the plan, yes. It's considered the safest and most feasible option. We've got a date set for a few weeks from now, just a little before my official due date, to ensure everything goes smoothly. They want to avoid me going into spontaneous labor, just to be on the safe side.

Pedro: And how do you feel about that? About having a C-section?

Joan: Initially, I was a bit apprehensive, to be honest. As a bodybuilder, I'm used to pushing my body to its limits, but in a controlled way. The idea of major surgery was a bit daunting. But my doctors have been amazing, explaining everything in detail. I'm focusing on the end goal: meeting my son healthy and safe. Plus, I'm already envisioning the recovery as a new kind of training challenge! [Joan flexes his biceps, making the audience laugh.]

Pedro: Always the athlete, even when facing childbirth! That's incredible. And what about after the birth? Any plans for immediate fatherhood, like skin-to-skin contact?

Joan: Definitely! That's a huge part of the plan. As soon as he's out and checked over, I want him on my chest. I've been told it's crucial for bonding and regulating his temperature. Maria, my girlfriend, will be right there with me too, of course. We're both just so eager to hold him. It's going to be the most intense, amazing experience of my life, even more than stepping on stage at the Olympia!

Pedro: And speaking of after the birth, you mentioned your chest is getting ready to breastfeed. Is that something you're planning to do? Male lactation… that's truly unprecedented.

Joan: I know, right? It's still early to say exactly how successful it will be, but the intention is definitely there. We want to give him the most natural start possible, and if I can provide that, I absolutely will. It's another way I can connect with him, beyond anything I ever imagined. It's going to be a learning curve for all of us, but I'm ready for it.

Pedro: I can see your son is excited too - I just have to.. Can I?

Joan: Feel him move, sure!

[Joan lifts his t-shirt one more time. Pedro nervously moves his hand to Joan’s belly, feeling his son move near where Pedro’s hand is. Pedro is surprised at the sensation.]

Pedro: This is insane! Honestly, I might be having a chat with my wife tonight to see what she thinks.

Joan: Are you sure you want to say that on national TV? [The audience laughs as Joan lowers his t-shirt.]

Pedro: Ha, yeah you’re right. Before we wrap up, Joan, with everything you've experienced, being the first man to go through pregnancy and all that comes with it, what's the biggest lesson you've learned? Is there any advice you'd give to someone, or even just a general takeaway from this whole journey?

Joan: The biggest lesson... vulnerability isn't a weakness, it's a strength. I've always been about controlling my body, pushing it to its limits, but this journey has taught me to let go, to embrace the unknown, and to trust in something far greater than myself. And to anyone out there facing something completely new and perhaps a little terrifying, I'd say this: lean into it. You might discover a strength and a joy you never knew existed.

Pedro: That is a beautiful lesson that I think we can all take on board. Oh, and I have to ask: has Maria mentioned anything about baby number 2 or more?

Joan: [Joan laughs and shakes his head.] Let’s just say we’re taking it one baby at a time for now! Maria is incredibly excited for this one, but I think we both need a little time to recover from this adventure before we even think about expanding our family further. Though, she has joked about me carrying twins next time!

After some late night googling, he saw this ad pop up for a medical treatment in the Caribbean which says it can "realise anyone's wildest dreams".

Yeah right, Joe thought. If it can get me pregnant, then maybe it's true... He sent an email to the company, explaining his entire situation and his 'dream', not expecting any sort of response. A couple of days later, he got a reply back: Come here and we can make any dream of yours come true.

He thought it was one big joke, but also embraced the excuse of holidaying in the Turks and Caicos Islands while things were quiet, so booked a flight to see what can happen.

***

3 months later, Joe was still at the treatment resort in the Turks and Caicos Islands, wandering down the beach when he had his first realisation that the treatments he was on seemed to be working.

His abs were already thick to begin with, but they started to bulge outwards, almost akin to a turtle shell. He could feel his lower stomach feel warm to the touch, and had this vague persistent feeling of being bloated. He had felt nauseous in the mornings over the past week or so, but the food and drinks at the resort seemed to dissipate any nausea by the late morning, so he didn't think much of it.

His doctor took him into the clinic, where they decided to do one final test before Joe was set to go back to the United States. Joe slid onto the bench and lifted his shirt, noticing the slight bulge of his belly over the waistband of his jeans. The doctor turned on the ultrasound machine and sprayed gel on his lower belly. As soon as the ultrasound wand went on his belly, a subtle heartbeat was heard across the room.

Joe's eyes widened. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yes it is, Mr Manganiello. I think we've made your dream come true, haven't we?"

Joe was astounded. Here he was, the uber-masculine man, going through something no one ever thought was possible.

"But... I just want to double check something," the doctor briefly murmured. He moved the wand slightly towards the right of his belly, and the heartbeats became slightly disjointed, almost as if -

"I thought so. I'm pleased to say I can hear two heartbeats. Congratulations, it looks like you're having twins."

Joe's eyes welled up with tears. Holy shit, he thought.

***

Joe didn't need to take on any new projects, so decided to hang low to avoid any unnecessary attention towards his transforming physique. Of course, whenever friends invited him to various movie premieres or events, he did his best to come along.

The last major event he went to before going into deeper hiding was when he was 24 weeks along. His belly was prominent enough to force his belt and pants to sit lower, and he could feel his breathing become more difficult. He was nervous about trying to find a shirt that would fit perfectly, so ended up wearing a shirt that he thought would fit loosely. Once the paparazzi photos were published, it confirmed his worst nightmare: it stretched tightly across his belly.

While he was proud of his kids, he knew this was unconventional and really didn't want to become front page headlines and be followed everywhere. So, he moved into his quiet Los Angeles suburban home and spent the rest of his pregnancy just preparing his home for the kids.

Occasionally, photos would be released of him alongside the headlines of "Chunky Joe" or "Joe's Max Dad Bod". Some gossip columns even joked that he had the bellybutton of a pregnant woman when he was caught refilling his car at a petrol station.

Not that Joe cared about what the gossips magazines were saying. He just focused on doing everything he needed to get his house ready for the babies. He embraced the power of home delivery and Amazon Prime for everything, as he could just get his cravings satisfied at any time through the click of a button, as well as being able to set up everything in his own time. He bought, smartly, the nursery equipment at a time where he was more mobile and could set up the equipment by himself.

***

Joe was getting more nervous as he got closer to his due date. While he was keen to get the pregnancy over with - he was sick of the sore hips, the light stretch marks across his underbelly, and his tender nipples and pecs - he wasn't keen to find out how he was going to deliver the babies. The doctor never mentioned how, so the anxiety only increased each day he got closer to term.

At 39 weeks pregnant, Joe was waddling around the home when he felt a tight tug at his lower back. He didn't think much of it at first because his back was sore all the time because of his huge pregnancy belly, but 15 minutes later the same sensation came back again.

"Is this it?" Joe wondered. Sure enough, 12 minutes later, a slightly more intense pulling sensation spread across his back and lower belly. He also felt his asshole pulse as if it was dilating.

"Oh, hell to the fucking no!" Joe screamed out in horror as he realised a natural birth was inevitable, and these kids were going to come out of his ass. He quickly walked through his house to find the phone number of his doctor to work out where to go, because there was no way he was going to give birth to his kids at home.

His doctor forwarded a contact number for a clinic in Los Angeles who could work in confidence to help Joe through his labor. So, Joe quickly waddled to his car and got to the clinic as quickly as he could, experiencing more intense contractions as he crawled through LA traffic.

As he got out of his car, he grimaced in pain as he felt the first significantly painful contraction, and could feel some sort of relief coming from his asshole, which at this point was 5 centimetres dilated. "Shittttt" he moaned in confusion, but didn't have time to work out what was happening.

He slowly waddled up towards the front door of the clinic and dialled the entrance phone. While waiting, he noticed a paparazzi at a distance. He didn't have the energy to fight them - he needed to just get in, give birth, then get out with his babies. As he looked to the side, he noticed small drops of liquid near his legs. He looked down and saw that his shorts were soaked, and liquid streaming down from his backside.

"Holy shit, my water broke!" Joe muttered nervously.

As midwives came to the entrance with a wheelchair, they saw the situation Joe was in and worked quickly to get him into the chair and into the clinic. Once inside, they assured him he was the only patient here, so he could be as loud as he needed to be. That immediately triggered Joe to scream in pain as the contractions start to build on top of one another.

As they changed him out of his sweaty t-shirt and fluid-soaked shorts and into a gown, the clinic doctor came and assessed Joe's ass.

"Well, Mr Manganiello, it looks like you're about 8 centimetres dilated right now. Given how quickly your contractions are progressing, I think we'll be ready to push in about an hour's time, okay?"

Joe huffed, "Please, give me something! Anything to stop the pain..."

"Unfortunately, Joe, you're too far dilated for us to give you an epidural safely. I'm so sorry, but we're going to do everything we can to make it as comfortable for you and the babies, alright?"

Joe groaned and screamed as another painful contraction swirled across his body. He couldn't believe how his body was going into autopilot to push these babies out of him, even though this is something that he shouldn't even be doing in the first place.

90 minutes later, it finally came time for him to give birth to the first baby. In a surprise to both Joe and the doctor and midwives, labor itself was quite speedy. In one huge push, Joe managed to get the head crowning. In a second strong push, Joe got the head completely out.

"Joe, please slow down - we don't want you to cause any anal tears!" the doctor exclaimed.

"I swear, I'm not pushing that hard, it's just happen-AARGH!" Joe screamed as the next contraction felt the first baby's shoulders twist in preparation for the next contraction. Sure enough, a minute later, Joe had one more contraction where his first baby slid out, wailing. Joe cried in relief as he heard the baby crying.

"It's a boy, Joe!" the doctor said as a midwife took the baby and moved him towards Joe's chest. Joe cried as he felt the intense bond that he had read about in books rushing through his veins and into his heart. He could feel his heart grow more deeply in love with these babies as he held the first one on his chest.

"Alright Joe, while you get the sibling out, we'll get him cleaned up, okay?" the midwife assured Joe. Joe nodded as he could feel yet another contraction build.