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redraw of this old piece of mine from 2021:

Demon of when you stay up so late that you hear the birds sing and see the sun rise.

Natasha was in the Avengers gym, she was the only person in the room. The thumps of her movements were the only sounds that resonated in the air, but her mind was elsewhere. On the wall in front of her, the image of a young woman with dark hair and an intense gaze appeared, stealing her attention. She was tall, with two scars that crossed her lips, creating a disturbing smile, almost like a joker. That figure, who once promised her adventures and laughter, was now just a distant memory. Natasha felt lost, the weight of her absence weighing on her as she continued to hit the bag, trying to push away the pain.

The music in her ears did nothing but remind her of you. Of how she shouldn’t have listened to you that December night. Of how she should have helped you up instead of turning around with tears in her eyes to look at you for a few seconds and start running again in the snow. Of how she should have stayed in the Red Room and not come up with a plan to escape with you, even though she didn’t know that only one of you would get out of that hell.

She slowly stopped punching and kicking the bag in front of her and leaned her forehead against it for a few seconds, trying to regulate her labored breathing. She then collapsed to the floor, knees to her chest and her head in the middle of them, and let out a few tears. If anyone had walked into the gym at that moment, they would have wondered if they had gone crazy at the sight of Black Widow sitting on the floor, sobbing silently as she always did.

Suddenly she jumped as she felt a hand gently rest on her shoulder, blaming herself for not having noticed another presence in the room with her. She turned toward the other person, immediately noticing the worried look in those green eyes that she had learned, after so many years, to trust.

The redhead looked away and very calmly took off the headphones she had in her ears and put them back in their case, then took a long sigh and looked once again into the eyes of the person there with her and gave her a small but sad smile. With an encouraging nod, Wanda gently guided the older woman’s head into the crook of her neck, and Natasha let her do it, also because the only thing she seemed capable of doing at that moment was crying.

They continued like this for what seemed like hours for Natasha, even though in reality only a few minutes had passed. The redhead continued to cry, only stopping when she heard the gym doors open and slam behind the person who had just entered. Immediately, both women turned to the third presence in the room.

“Sorry, but Fury sent me to look for you both since you were unreachable” Bucky said to the two, looking at them in disbelief given the situation he had just found them in. Natasha nodded at the supersoldier's words, putting some distance between her and Wanda. Natasha ran her fingers under her eyes, trying as much as possible to dry her tears. Both women stood up and approached the gym exit, passing by the soldier when he gently grabbed the widow's arm, looking at her intently with eyes filled with compassion.

“Maybe you should stay out of it” whispered the man, letting go slightly of the arm he had grabbed to stop her earlier. Natasha frowned, confused at Bucky's suggestion. In her head she was trying to find a good reason why she should take the advice, but one in particular formed that made her eyes widen and almost gape. The super soldier, seeing that the redhead understood, nodded.

“Is it really her?” she whispered in disbelief. The man nodded again, taking her in his arms immediately after seeing Natasha's eyes fill with tears again, but this time she didn't shed a single one. She remained silent and, after breaking her embrace with Bucky, they both walked side by side toward the meeting room. 

The whole time of the journey, Natasha couldn't stop the thoughts in her head. What would she have done as soon as she saw you again? What condition would she find you in? Would you recognize her? Would you hurt her without thinking or would you hesitate? And in the worst case, would she be able to hurt you or worse, kill you?

For these questions she had no answers, she couldn't find a single one. And that troubled her. She'd always been the kind of person who often had the answer ready for all the questions asked, but this time it was completely empty. Like what she felt inside herself every time she woke up after dreaming of you, or when she was constantly looking for you among people every time she left the complex.

Finally the two arrived in the meeting room and immediately settled into their pre-arranged seats, Natasha with Tony on the right and Clint on the left, Bucky next to Sam. The redhead could hear the murmur of voices from her companions around her in the background, but she didn't join in any of the conversations, she just kept her gaze down at her hands resting on the table. Only when she heard the voices quiet and a door open and close did she raise her head. Fury approached the screen toward the head of the table, holding several files in his arms, and gave one to each. He then turned on the screen behind him and a photo from a still from a surveillance camera immediately appeared.

“She's Void” said the man, seriously looking into the eyes of every single Avenger in the room. “I think you're old enough to read to yourself who she is. The fact is that late last night, she and other HYDRA agents infiltrated a steel company and cleared out, no survivors” Natasha and everyone else started staring at the photo. The blank stare of your eyes, the maniacal smile on your face, the two scars on either side of your mouth smeared with red, the bloody hands suggesting someone's death, the knife placed on the throat of the guard on duty, his eyes filled with tears and terrified at the mere thought of his sad fate. 

Natasha had to shift her gaze to Wanda's cup placed in front of her to avoid looking at the photograph offered by Fury. 

“I know your skills and abilities well and I firmly believe in them” Fury continued. “We have multiple reasons to believe that she and the other agents are still camped within the company. Your mission is very simple. Take her and bring her here, I don't want any questions. I'll explain to you later. In the file I gave you you will find all the useful information about her and a video to watch carefully” he said looking them seriously in the face and then placing his eyes on Natasha. “If anyone for any reason thinks they can't do it and doesn't feel like leaving, they shouldn't feel guilty about abandoning the mission and staying home” silence fell in the room, everyone was looking at the redhead even if only some knew the real reason. Fury sighed, shaking his head, and then finished his speech. “The mission is in two days. Remember, you must not kill or mortally wound her. She is a highly unstable and unpredictable individual. Be careful” and with one last look directed at Natasha, he left the room. 

One by one, the Avengers emptied the meeting room, all holding their files and a few worried expressions carved into their faces. Eventually Natasha found herself alone again with her thoughts and a heavy file in front of her. After staring at the yellow cover for ten minutes she finally found the courage and strength to open it. 

Name: Y/NY/L/N

Alias: Void

Approximate age: 106 years old

Nationality: Italian / Greek

Special features: covered in tattoos, prominent scars on the sides of the mouth

Abilities: Electrokinesis, slightly weaker than a super soldier, skilled with the sword

Wanted for: targeted killings, infiltration, possession of sensitive information

Affiliations: HYDRA, Red Room

Threat Rating: High / Avengers Level

Priority: CAPTURE

Natasha was about to check the other information in the file, but as soon as she turned the page, a flash drive slipped out. She quickly picked it up and inserted it into her computer. A video immediately opened, which she quickly clicked on. She could see a dark room, lit only by a small light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Under this light, a man was tied to a chair with very thick ropes, a belt over his mouth to silence him, tears streaming down his cheeks, and a cut on his forehead dripping blood. Behind him, slightly hidden by the darkness, were two men, both holding rifles and wearing helmets to avoid being recognized.

After about two minutes of silence, where the only sound was the soft sobs of the man sitting in front of the camera, Natasha heard a heavy door open and close, followed by heavy footsteps and the prisoner's terrified look. Another chair entered the frame, and the red-haired woman had to hold back tears at the sight. Y/N, also dressed all in black, with a sword sheath the spy knew well attached to her belt, a mask covering only her mouth, allowing the rest of her face, red with blood, to be clearly seen, just like her hands. She sat and stared at the weeping man before her, casting a sinister look at the camera.

“This is Billy,” she said loudly and clearly, addressing anyone watching the recording. “Nah, just kidding. His name isn’t Billy, I gave him a name because I don’t give a shit what his name is,” she chuckled to herself. Natasha continued to watch the scene, sitting still, trying to understand the reason for the man’s kidnapping and why HYDRA would want to clear out a steel company.

“See, Billy here works for this amazing company that makes millions and millions of dollars a year. If only they only worked with iron and metals like that, right, Billy?” she said, looking at the poor man in front of her. “They also work with things that shouldn’t concern them, things they don’t even know the name of, things they don’t even know the potential and power of.” She stood up, walked over to the camera, and, picking it up, moved it closer to her hostage. Then, she positioned herself behind him, removing the belt from around his face and saying something in his ear.

“Y-Yes, I'm Billy. Let's just say that in this company, um, we don't just work to produce the usual things,” the man began, staring intently at the camera. Natasha frowned in confusion. “Um, we receive supplies of celestial bronze every two months, a metal that we basically don't need, so…”

“Good boy, Billy,” Y/N said, her torso out of the frame. The man breathed a sigh of relief, thinking he was out of danger. “Too bad what you said wasn't exactly correct.” She laughed again, while the man felt as if his heart had stopped.

“No, n-no, that's not true!”

“Billy, Billy, Billy. But what am I supposed to do with you…” she said, shaking her head, picking up the camera again and moving it back just enough to be seen, this time without the mask on her face. Natasha jumped at the scars on the sides of her mouth. She didn’t remember them being so pronounced and disturbing, but that didn’t mean she didn’t still find them beautiful on her ex girlfriend. “There are two fundamental errors in your brief explanation,” she continued, taking a knife from her belt, making the Russian woman’s eyes widen.

“First, your supplies don’t arrive every two months,” she said, and she made a cut on the man’s left leg, not deep enough to bleed to death, but deep enough for him to feel the pain. “Second, you know exactly what you need them for,” and she made another identical cut, but on his right arm.

“I was starting to like you, buddy,” she said to the man screaming in pain. “I was even thinking about sparing you the fate of your colleagues, but then you started lying to me, even though I warned you not to. Fuck, Billy, I’m sorry.” She started banging her fist on her own head, ruffling her neatly combed hair. Natasha could already imagine what was coming next and clasped her hands together, almost as if she were beginning to pray. And this time, Y/N dropped the knife to the ground and unsheathed her sword, emitting a faint golden glow, bringing it close to the man’s throat. “Say hello to your heroes,” she whispered.

“Please, Y/N, don’t do this. Please, angel…” Natasha whispered to the video, wanting to cover her eyes so she wouldn’t see the love of her life commit such a cruel act. But her prayers were in vain. With a clean, precise cut, the other woman slit the man’s throat, watching him die and gurgling in his own blood with a smug smile plastered across her face. “So you weren’t so mortal, Billy. Another lie,” she untied the man’s lifeless body, letting it fall to the ground with a thud before smoothing her hair back into place. She finally looked at the camera. “Bye-bye Avengers,” she waved, then her expression suddenly changed and she became a little sad. “Bye-bye malenkaya lisichka (little fox),” and blew a kiss to the camera, which then turned off.

The black screen that followed could clearly capture Natasha's devastated look, tears now streaming down her face. As false and disturbing as the final sentence might have been, Y/N had blown her a kiss and called her by her usual nickname, the one reserved just for her. But that didn't erase what she'd done. She'd just slit the throat of an innocent man, without even an identity anymore, since she'd given him a new one and had probably already made the body disappear God knows where. And all this with an amused and satisfied expression. This wasn't her Y/N, the one who, after killing someone, cried for hours and wrote their name and surname in a little book to remember the life she'd taken.

No, this was someone else. This was a version of her angel that Natasha had never seen. Someone she didn't recognize and never thought she'd meet. But this was just another excuse to get her girlfriend back, give her a second chance, and prove that she, too, is capable of doing something good.

Hey...