about the predicament of friends with benefits
predicament: an unpleasant situation that is difficult to get out of
idol!nicholas x nonidol!reader / smut / angst & fluff / hurt to comfort / fwb situationship / lowk dark humor / cursing / mentions of having anxiety during sex / minors dni.
inspired by the ”i never wanted to be your weekend lover” trend on tiktok lol. enjoy!!
what you and nicholas had was simple, really. he would come over after practice to let off steam, as in fuck you senseless. you’d come over after going to the club and spend hours switching positions for him. that was the agreement you made after the first time you crossed the line from friends to something more – but somehow never enough.
you thought it was working, you bragged to your friends about how convenient having a friend you could fuck was, and how you and nicholas never had problems with it. enjoying the sneaking around, feeling like a teenager again with the excitement of having a secret to hide. it was fun, it was new, it was an easy situation to handle. until now.
you knew nicholas had a bad day. he sent you messages throughout, complaining about messing up the choreo for their new song and his voice cracking during every high note. so, it didn't come as a surprise when he asked you to come over.
you quickly did your pre-fuck ritual as you liked to call it. you washed your hair, scrubbed your skin clean and smelling delectable, using the shower gel nicholas always complimented when he washed up at your place. after the shower you decided to put on a little makeup, just some blush and lipgloss to look a bit prettier for him.
you knew that's when the issues started. when instead of dirty leggings, old hoodies and pimple patches on you began to show up to his dorm in cute clothes with some form of lingerie underneath. when you started wearing the perfumes nicholas liked, styling your hair the way nicholas liked and even chewing the gum nicholas liked before you kissed him.
now, standing in front of his dorm door your heart was failing you, hammering in your chest like it was trying to find the correct rhythm to make nicholas fall for you. your hands were sweaty and clampy, clutching the strap of your bag. you were sure this was beginning to be a mistake. you were starting to fall for him, way too hard and way too fast and way too much.
still, you lifted your hand to press the doorbell.
you heard shuffling inside and the door opened, revealing nicholas’ tall frame. he looked gorgeous as always, his hair was slightly damp, clearly fresh out of the shower. his gray sweatpants hung loose on his hips and the white tank top he had on hugged his figure perfectly.
once again, you were ruined.
”hey, come in”, he smiled as he held the door open for you, putting his hand on your lower back slightly as you crossed the threshold to the dorm. ”the members are still practicing, they shouldn't be here for another few hours.” he said and walked to the kitchen. you followed suit after taking off your shoes and jacket, leaning on the door frame.
”what did you do to escape the practice? that sounds impossible,” you laughed and let your eyes wander over his back muscles that flexed as he poured himself a glass of water.
”headache. a really bad one, might have to stay in bed for hours tonight,” he said in a joking tone, turning to you with a teasing look in his eye. he let his gaze explore your body, the loose t-shirt on your body revealing the baby pink bra strap on your shoulder. he sauntered over to you, setting his cup on the table and gently taking a hold of your waist.
your breath stuttered immediately, his touch igniting a current of electricity under your skin. sometimes you could swear you’d let him do anything, anything. he could take the earth from underneath your feet and you’d thank him for giving you a new perspective on life.
”i missed you, my pretty girl,” he purred and used his other hand to cup your cheek, running his thumb over your bottom lip. you looked up into his brown eyes that were locked to yours, filled with the kind of aura only he could posses. he licked his lips – a habit of his you’d grown to love, and asked:
”do you want to fuck me?”
you gulped and slightly rolled your eyes at his antics. nicholas got off on this sort of power dynamic of everyone wanting him. in bed he lived off of you telling him how good he’s doing, how big he is, how deep he was, how no one was ever going to fuck you like he does. the worst part was that he was right.
it would take you a whole lifetime and some more to get over him.
”sure.” you snickered, slightly challenging him. his mouth spread into a wide grin before he moved his hand to the back of your head to crash his lips onto yours. it was like every kiss with nicholas was. all want, nicholas kissed you like a man dying of hunger, biting your lips and groaning low under his breath. you could die like that, with his hot body pressed against yours and it would be a perfect way to go.
he wrapped his arms around your body and picked you up so you could lock your legs around his waist. you crashed onto walls on your way to his bedroom but finally landed safely onto his bed.
when nicholas was stressed or mad, he didn’t wait. usually he was a big tease but some nights, like tonight, he didn’t play games with you. he quickly got rid of his shirt, revealing his smooth, toned skin to you. you didn’t waste any time before exploring the way his muscles tensed against your touch, your nails digging into his biceps while he continued attacking your neck with bites and kisses. ”take this off.” he commanded and tugged the bottom of your shirt. you obeyed and threw it over your head onto his floor.
nicholas stopped for a second, pulling away and taking in the sight in front of him. you, with your hair a mess, lips plump and your perfect breasts being hugged by the lacy set you chose to wear. nicholas noticed everything, he noticed when you started showing up more put together, with your hair tied in silky bows and lips shiny with a new lipgloss. he noticed how soft your skin felt, how the scent of it drew him in even more and made his mouth water to get a taste of you.
”so pretty, so perfect, all for me, mmhm?” he whispered before kissing the newly exposed skin. your cheeks blushed and you were thankful that his bedroom was dark enough to hide how fast your composure came apart under his gaze. nicholas slowly made his way downward, hooking his fingers under the waistband of your pants. he looked up at you and you smiled shyly, giving the silent confirmation he always made sure to check beforehand.
and just like that, he started to undress the rest of your body like he’d done a hundred times by now. he had memorized every curve and crevice of your body but he still savored every touch he could get. once you were left in your bra and panties, he got to work, his hands never leaving your body. his lips were glued to yours, your hands pulling on his long blonde strands, desperately grinding your clothed cunt against his thigh, trying to relieve the pressure between your legs.
he chuckled before breaking apart from the kiss. ”so needy..” he panted before propping himself up on his elbow, other hand making its way down. you felt his hands toying with the fabric of your panties. you let out a whimper, closing your eyes and praying to god he would touch you already. luckily for you, he did, his long fingers making their way to your already drenched pussy. he played with your clit for a few seconds before continuing his way downward. you bit your lips and you felt his fingers ghosting over your entrance.
”say pleeease,” nicholas smirked and you gave him an annoyed look. you stared him down before sighing. ”please, nico,” you stated flatly but nicholas could hear the desperation in the way your voice slightly cracked while saying his name. he smiled before his fingers started moving and you threw your head back once his long fingers were inside of you. nicholas pushed his fingers in and out of you in an excruciatingly sweet pace, perfect like everytime with him.
not too long after, your whimpers filled his bedroom as he moaned next to your ear, switching between biting your neck and placing sweet kisses all over your cheeks and lips. he kept working on your body with ease, switching between rubbing your clit and fucking his fingers into you.
”ahhh, wait, i’m close..” you managed to struggle out. ”can i fuck you?” he asked, slightly halting his pace. you nodded eagerly, wanting to feel him inside of you. he removed his fingers and put them up to your lips. you licked them clean before gently biting his index finger, earning a grin from him. sex with nicholas was always like this, it was like a choreography he’d designed just for you, filled with moments of pure lust, innocent giggles of excitement and simply making love with someone he cherished.
nicholas removed his sweatpants and boxers in one swift motion before getting on top of you. he was already hard, aching for a release, his tip slick with precum. ”like what you see?” he asked as your eyes explored his skin.
”stop being so cocky and fuck me already?” you asked, running out of patience.
he wasted no time pulling your panties to the side, pumping his cock a few times before lining it up with your entrance. he moved slowly, inching his cock inside of you with practiced precision, like he knew every inch of your body like his own. you let out small pathetic noises at this point, just desperate to feel the weight of him fully on top of you, to feel every bit of him inside of you.
when he was fully inside, he locked your lips into a sweet kiss, slowly starting to fuck you into the mattress. you closed your eyes, senses already so full of him, running out of breath because of the pure pleasure he was giving you. it felt so good, kissing him felt like you were ascending into heaven, sex with him felt like something you never wanted to quit.
nicholas clearly felt the same, his teeth sinking into your bottom lip and his fingers digging into the plush flesh of your hip. you tasted the metallic flavor of blood on your tongue and felt the tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. usually sex with nicholas was so good, your cheeks were damp with tears afterwards.
this was different though, you felt it immediately. you were hyperaware of your body, of the current situation, of all and every emotion you had ever felt towards nicholas. it all hit you like a freight train, like you had been slapped.
you broke free from the kiss, desperate for air. nicholas looked at you, immediately checking in. ”keep going,” you whispered whether it was out of instinct or out of the need of never wanting to break apart any moment with him, and he complied.
you looked to the ceiling, the pleasure making you whimper and suddenly, the tears started falling. at first, they were the ones you were used to with nicholas, full of need and desperate for a release.
but then, they turned into the kind you didn’t want to let out while having sex with maybe the hottest man you knew. you threw your hand over your mouth, desperate to keep down the sobs and just focus on holding on to whatever form of dignity you had left.
but it was no use. you let out a quiet sob and put your hands on nicholas’ chest, stopping all movement. his eyes quickly searched your face as you uttered out the words. ”stop, stop for a moment,” you fought out. nicholas pulled out and leaned back to take a look at your face.
his brown eyes were full of concern, full of care and you wanted to scream at him for looking at you like that. for looking at you like you were something more than a friend he fucked. you were quick in your movements, turning to grab your shirt and uttering out a small ’i’m sorry’ before making your way to the bathroom.
once inside, you locked the door and put on your shirt before sliding against the door, your ass hitting the cold tiles. your body was shaking and your breath was shallow like all of the oxygen in the world was gone. you cried quietly. you cried out of frustration, you cried out of sadness, you cried out of anger that you let it go too far. and then, a silent knock echoed on the door.
”did i do something wrong?”
nicholas pleaded, his head hanging low against the other side of the bathroom door. you realized how bad it must’ve seemed, you running off in the middle of sex to go cry in the bathroom. you wanted to drown in his bathtub out of embarrassment but you were his friend before you were his fuckbuddy. so, reluctantly you unlocked the door before making your way to the edge of said tub. you sat down and kept your head low as you heard the door open.
nicholas made his way to you, sitting on the closed lid of the toilet next to you. ”you didn’t do anything wrong”, you said before he could continue his interrogation. ”promise?” he asked, his voice soft. ”promise.” you affirmed.
you played with the hem of your shirt, hands still shaky and you let out an equally shaky breath. ”i- i can’t do this anymore”, you exhaled after a minute. ”it’s too much and too little.. i thought i could do this, i really did.” you laughed hopelessly. ”but it just feels like shit. to do everything we do, to have my things among your things just to collect them like i came here to do my job and then clock out.”
you finally dared to look up, just to be met with nicholas’ eyes, unable to read his thoughts. ”do you know how bad i feel everytime you leave your annoying necklaces at my place and i have to lie to maki, lie to my best friend like every week.” you continued on, voice weak and tears threatening to fall again.
”and suddenly he thinks i have enough money to buy chrome hearts and buy him lunch and dinner and, and-” you rambled on senselessly before nicholas kneeled in front of you, taking your hands in his. your tears were hot on your cheeks again, falling on top of his golden skin.
”y/n, look at me,” he pleaded and reluctantly you did.
”i’m in love with you.” he said like it was the easiest thing ever. ”i’m sorry i didn’t say anything, but i just- i was stupid. i thought this would be easier because it worked but it wasn’t. it’s not easy.” nicholas’ always strong voice faltered. ”i don’t want to just have you when we’re all alone. i want you all to myself, all of the time.” he confessed, looking deep into your eyes, leaving no space for you to question the truthfulness of his words.
you swallowed, your throat dry with the impact of his words and you didn’t say anything, you didn’t need to. nicholas cradled your face in his hands and pressed his forehead against yours, his breath fanning against your lips before capturing you in a kiss. a kiss like no other kiss before. this one was certain, stable, deep and trusting. it felt like the beginning, a yes instead of a maybe, an answer you had been looking for an eternity.
”can we always be this close?”
thank u so much for reading my first ever fic!!! eek! so backstory to this: i was drunk and wrote the start of this at 2-3 am then proceeded to forget about it until i randomly saw it in my notes. now it’s here! also never talk about the grammar in my fics i'm just a girl.
<𝟑 .ᐟ - kisu
