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I'm all smiles until the sun goes down. After the sunsets I lose my motivation to smile. When the lights go out I can't help, but to think of the way it used to be. You know when there was a " You and me". Recently I've realized that that was just a dream. I was all in; hoping, waiting, needing, and dreaming of the impossible. You see it isn't possible for a guy like you and a girl like me to be together. Because I was born to be a success and you were born for the thrill. Bright lights, parties, violence that's all you. Tea time, literature, deep intellectual conversations that's my comfort zone. We came from two different world's, world's that were bound to collide as opposed to meshing like I for one had hoped.

You played me for a fool. You made me think that you cared and that you were different, but in reality you turned out to be worst than the others because you were the only one I ever loved, trusted, and gave my heart to. I put aside all my preferences just to give you a chance. You literally begged me to give you a chance why? So you could prove that you could get any girl that you want? So you could feel secure? I don’t know why all I know is that you never loved, or wanted me like you said you did. You took advantage of my insecurities and used them to get close to me. I don’t know why you even bothered obviously I meant nnothing so why’d you go through the trouble of wasting a year and some change on me?

You were what I was missing all this time and now you're gone and I don't smile anymore, I don't feel whole anymore, I'm not who I used to be and I'll never love again because this emptiness, this breathlessness, and incompleteness I feel is so painful its beginning to become unbearable and I'd do anything to be who I was with you at least that version of me felt alive. I'm just numb now.

They say love is this great, wonderful, amazing, life changing, never ending thing, but they don’t tell you the negative things that result from it.  Like having sex before you’re ready or getting left with nothing but a broken heart or the empty space that’s left when they leave or the sleepless nights where all you do is cry and listen to love songs and think about them when they don’t and they never did give a fuck about you. They don’t tell you that it doesn’t always last and that when people use the word they don’t always mean it. The only thing they tell you that’s true is that its a strong word. Its q severely strong word and I honestly don’t think it should exist because it doesn’t its a gimic sold to naive boys and girls by screenwriters, songwriters, and card makers .