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some days ago i had a convo with a friend and i was so close, so so close of saying yeah you know when i started to question or recently I've really been thinking about transitioning bc i know for a fact he is ok with all this, i know for a fact he already knows, its just not been explicitly said and i know he understands, he's a gay man who at some point thought for fucks sake. he very much gets it.

i hate that i feel i need to be out to seek medical care. i feel that if i have no way of proving ive been presenting as a man i wont be able to transition but at the same time just going in without any "experience" for a lack of a better word scares me. also where tf do i go to? only the capital of the city has trans clinics, we don't have that in my hometown and i like in person things, onlinemakes me feel uncomfortable and too impersonal.