TIME PASES BY Ā , Ā Ā DINOPUNCHINGĀ IN THE ROLE OF CAROL DANVERSĀ Ā , Ā Ā LOVELACK IN THE ROLE OF MARIANNE SHERIDAN. Ā Ā Ā Ā TIME ALWAYS PASSES Ā .
a faint smile haunts her as she lifts the cup with both hands,Ā Ā relishes in the cool touch of porcelain against her autumn-chapped lipsĀ Ā &Ā then inhales the waft of dark roast coffee.Ā Ā Ā her eyes flutter shut before the finale of a silent sipĀ Ā āāāĀ Ā she finds comfort in the rich scentĀ &Ā the beverageās bitter edge against the soft bed of her tongue.Ā Ā Ā proof of life if you will:Ā Ā Ā a reminder that she isnāt a joint dislocated from the skeleton of the world after all.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā hmm,Ā Ā i sure hope iām wrong about the boss thing,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā carol mutters while she sets the cup back down on the table,Ā Ā then reveals a sharpened gaze.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā kinda gives me the ick,Ā Ā if māhonest.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā the statement is punctuated with an involuntary shudder,Ā Ā which luckily serves as a breakwater for the ripples of nausea crashing against her shores.
she spares the pair of older man Ā & Ā younger woman another glance over her shoulder, Ā Ā now allowing it to linger in contrast with the before. Ā Ā there is something scrutinising about the way in which she narrows her eyes Ā & Ā worries her bottom lip between her teeth.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā my current boss is actually a little like that.Ā Ā Ā not in the touchy feely sense,Ā Ā more in theĀ āwomen belong in the kitchenā sense.Ā Ā Ā i have him handled,Ā Ā though.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā the tail end of her sentence is slightly muffled as she abandons her field study into strangersā relationship dynamicsĀ Ā &Ā turns to face the brunette opposite her anew.Ā Ā Ā deep blue eyes peer curiously at the womanĀ &Ā a bright,Ā Ā friendly smile unfolds.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā call me carol,Ā Ā by the way.Ā Ā Ā iām guessing youāre not from around here, Ā judging by the accentĀ ?Ā Ā Ā itās not at all new yorker-y.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā then neither was hers.Ā Ā Ā though she had rid herself of the typical boston drawl years ago,Ā Ā trace amounts of it lingered on her vocal chords,Ā Ā ready to be picked up by those with keen ears.
perhapsĀ sheādĀ thoughtĀ sheādĀ becomeĀ usedĀ toĀ theĀ loneliness ,Ā Ā convincedĀ herselfĀ thatĀ sheĀ doesnātĀ haveĀ toĀ seenĀ toĀ existsĀ amongĀ theĀ world .Ā Ā sheādĀ becomeĀ aĀ masterĀ atĀ theĀ disappearingĀ act .Ā Ā thereāsĀ aĀ momentĀ though ,Ā Ā whenĀ theĀ otherĀ womanĀ looksĀ rightĀ inĀ herĀ eyes ,Ā Ā andĀ sheĀ feelsĀ herselfĀ crashingĀ backĀ downĀ intoĀ herĀ ownĀ body ,Ā Ā aĀ suddenĀ starknessĀ ofĀ reality .Ā Ā cheeksĀ upturnĀ asĀ sheĀ looksĀ acrossĀ theĀ table ,Ā Ā aĀ practicedĀ pleasantryĀ toĀ theĀ wayĀ thatĀ sheĀ smiles ,Ā Ā rehearsedĀ beforeĀ theĀ bathroomĀ mirrorĀ asĀ sheĀ imaginedĀ herselfĀ rejoiningĀ theĀ world .Ā Ā evenĀ ghostsĀ becomeĀ tiredĀ ofĀ beingĀ unseen ,Ā Ā ofĀ havingĀ themselvesĀ passedĀ overĀ timeĀ andĀ timeĀ again ;Ā Ā still ,Ā Ā ifĀ sheĀ isĀ notĀ thoughtĀ of ,Ā Ā sheĀ cannotĀ beĀ hurt .Ā
MARIANNE :
weāll decide that youāre wrong about it, and then we wonāt ask unless we absolutely have to. then we can pretend it doesnāt exist.
sheĀ thinksĀ thereāsĀ anĀ inheritanceĀ toĀ playingĀ pretend ,Ā Ā knowsĀ itĀ wasĀ knittedĀ intoĀ herĀ bonesĀ theĀ wayĀ itĀ wasĀ knittedĀ intoĀ herĀ mothers ;Ā Ā thereāsĀ anĀ intimacyĀ toĀ theĀ coldnessĀ thatĀ hasĀ neverĀ leftĀ her .Ā Ā sheĀ thinks ,Ā Ā perhaps ,Ā Ā herĀ powerĀ liesĀ inĀ theĀ wayĀ sheĀ hasĀ alwaysĀ stomachedĀ it ,Ā Ā thatĀ sheĀ hasĀ learntĀ toĀ liveĀ inĀ spiteĀ ofĀ theĀ iceĀ theyĀ see .Ā Ā sheĀ wouldnātĀ wantĀ themĀ knowingĀ anythingĀ otherwise ,Ā Ā softnessĀ isĀ tooĀ oftenĀ seenĀ asĀ weakness .
MARIANNE :
itās a right of passage, right? although sometimes it feels like itās more... repeatedly walking through the fire. but i donāt doubt you on having him handled.
theĀ otherĀ womanĀ seemsĀ likeĀ theĀ typeĀ toĀ doĀ that ,Ā Ā toĀ recogniseĀ horrorsĀ andĀ fightĀ herĀ wayĀ out ;Ā Ā marianneāsĀ neverĀ beenĀ likeĀ that ,Ā Ā brittleĀ bonesĀ andĀ tooĀ usedĀ toĀ puttingĀ herĀ handĀ onĀ theĀ stoveĀ toĀ feelĀ theĀ heatĀ now .Ā Ā sheāsĀ tryingĀ notĀ toĀ fallĀ backĀ toĀ endlessĀ patterns ,Ā Ā tryingĀ toĀ makeĀ somethingĀ betterĀ forĀ herselfĀ somewhereĀ amongĀ theĀ ashesĀ ofĀ whoĀ sheĀ onceĀ was .
MARIANNE :
marianne, and no, not from here. i just moved across a couple of months ago, havenāt quite picked up the accent in that time.