LOVE ATTACK.

if there was one thing about aeri, it was that she kept tabs on those she considered her friends. her calendar was marked with their comeback dates, birthdays, and any major events her friends had. the sheer number of reminders cluttering her calendar probably would stress out the average person, but aeri simply liked knowing what everyone was doing. her own schedule typically prevented her from checking in with frieds as often as she would've liked.

due to her friendship with youra, serene's tour dates had earned their own place on it. aeri waited a few days after the tour ended before finally went looking for the other at the company. style recently been released gave aeri a perfectly reasonable excuse to stop by without appearing too eager to see youra. there were challenges to film, after all, and hanging out with youra under the guise of asking her to participate in one made enough sense to the younger idol.

"you're back," a smile was already plastered on her face the moment she spotted youra. aeri took one look over her shoulder and scanned the room before entering. as she walked, her eyes swept over youra to see if she make any guesses on her current mood. "how are you feeling? did they give you time to get any rest, or did they put you back to work as soon as you landed?"

dear park aeri of 2027,

if you're reading this, then we've successfully made it to 2027. i don't know what to talk about, actually. it feels a little weird writing to myself knowing i'll read this back one day.

i guess i can start with the fact i've been thinking about the future a lot lately, like way more than i should. before debut, everything felt so far away that it was easier to think about tomorrow than where i'd be in a year. it's kind of the same now, actually. the thought of kismet in a year kind of scares me. a year is still so far away. anything could happen from the day i write this to the day i get this letter back. nothing is certain in this industry.

i wonder what kismet looks like in 2027. are we different? we probably are, but not too different if i had to guess from our career so far. i can't imagine spending another year together without having some sort of evolution. i just hope we've changed in ways that make us happier, and that we've gotten even closer instead of getting busier. i think everything feels a little easier when we're all on the same page and continue choosing each other through every season no matter how difficult.

i've had people ask me where i see myself in five years, what my goals are, what kind of artist i want to become, and i always struggle with answering that because i don't know if the future version of me would still agree with the current version of myself by the time five years are up. i guess it's not that deep, but i take the words i say seriously. i don't want to say things just to give an answer and have my word mean nothing. but we're not even halfway through our contracts, so i don't think i have to have my entire career mapped out yet, or know exactly who i want to be as an artist just yet. for now, i'm going to do what i've always done and trust in management to guide us in the right direction and help me become an artist i'd be proud of. as long as i continue showing up every day willing to work hard, learn and improve, i don't think i'll have much to regret. i think if i do those simple things, i'll end up exactly where i'm supposed to be.

i do have a few wishes for my future self.

first, i hope you've been kind to yourself. i know that's always been the hardest one, and it's second nature to pick apart everything i've done, but i really do hope that, eventually, i've learned to show myself a little more grace. i know you've constantly been hearing people say that your worth isn't measured by one performance or one mistake, but i hope in a year from now, you genuinely believe that. i also hope you've stopped apologizing for every little thing that doesn't go perfectly in your eyes, especially if no one from staff mentioned it. i hope you've celebrated your successes with the others instead of immediately asking yourself what you could've done better.

but if none of those things have happened yet, that's okay. i don't expect myself to have everything figured out by 2027. i'd only be twenty-three, and there's still so much growing left for me to do. as long as we've continued making an honest effort, that's good enough.

second, i also hope you've loved and cherished the people around you to the best of your ability. not just with kismet, but all of your friends. i think this is one of the areas in my personal life where i still have the most room to grow. i worry that i'm not as good of a friend as i could be. i get caught up in my schedules, or i assume people know how much they mean to me without ever actually telling them. i hope i've gotten better at that. i hope i've become someone the people around me know they can rely on, and that i've repeatedly shown them how much i appreciate them. i think it would make me really happy if i turn out to be someone who makes others feel seen.

third, i hope you're still curious about everything. that's one thing i don't want us to lose. i hope you're still the type of person who asks staff too many questions, and that you still watch other artists perform because you still enjoy it and want to learn from their artistry as you continue shaping your own. i think my never-ending pursuit of knowledge is one of my favorite things about myself. maybe it's a little inconvenient to want to know everything sometimes, but i don't think i'd ever trade it for anything else. and this isn't just for me in 2027. i hope at no point in your career do you let yourself believe that there's nothing left to learn. the day i stop being curious and want to learn is probably the day i stop growing, both as a person and as an artist, and i don't want either of those things to happen for a very long time. so keep asking questions. keep wondering why people behave the way they do. keep picking the brains of those around you to get a different perspective than your own. it should do you more good as an artist and as a person, and should also prevent you from ever becoming complacent.

honorable mention before i forget. this may be a long shot, but i also hope you've gotten better at sleeping. i know you're probably laughing at that sentence because i currently am. if nothing else in this letter comes true, the one thing i really hope does is that i've finally figured out how to get adequate sleep during promotions. surviving on short naps isn't sustainable, and it's a miracle i've managed to get away with it for this long. logically, i know that and probably should've fixed it by now. emotionally… i've done a pretty good job convincing myself i'm the exception. the consequences are something future me will have to deal with. but hopefully you've proven current me wrong and figured it out by the time you're reading this.

fourth of all, i hope you haven't lost your spark, and still have gratitude for all of this. i know by now it's pretty ordinary for me to be on stage, but i hope there's always a small part of me that quietly says, "i can't believe i get to do this." i don't ever want to become so used to this life that i forget there was once a version of myself who dreamed about it every single day, and wanted it so bad that i sacrificed so much to get here. i still remember being a trainee, wondering whether i was improving fast enough or whether i deserved to be here. questioning whether or not i was working hard enough to justify the faith management seemed to have in me. i hope future me remembers those feelings as vividly as i do now, because i don't ever want to take any of this for granted.

i'm incredibly thankful for the people who believed in me when i didn't believe in myself. i hope you've continued thanking them, and all of the people around you, even for the little things. the staff. the managers. the members. our fans. i know it currently makes you uncomfortable to put those feelings into words, but i don't want my gratitude to only come out during award speeches or anniversary messages. i hope it's something you've continued to have each day, because i think that's the best way to make sure the spark never fades.

fifth and finally, i hope you're still creating because you love it. i know it started off as something i did because i felt like i had to prove my worth to debut, but it turned into something i truly love. i hope that's still true until the day i decide to retire and leave the industry. i want to still get excited whenever i pick up a pencil and start jotting down lyrics at the age of forty. if that's still the case, then i think we're doing okay. i also hope i've challenged myself a bit more a year from now. i hope you've become more involved in producing and maybe even composing. i don't expect to be an expert in a year, or to make something that'd get released to the public, but i hope i've at least given myself a chance to try it out.

i think that's all i have to say to future me.

aeri had been awake long enough that everything had begun to blur together. if it weren't for the fact that she knew they were at music bank, she wouldn't have been able to confidently say whether today was thursday or friday without checking her phone. most of the sleep she'd gotten over the past twenty-four hours had come in twenty-minute stretches curled awkwardly against a van window, each one inevitably interrupted before she could fully fall asleep.

the waiting room was always a very tempting place to sleep, but she'd learned three things by this point in kismet's career that made her never sleep in a waiting room. first, the second she got comfortable, someone would inevitably appear in the doorway to announce they were next. second, even if she did manage to sleep before they were needed, people were constantly talking and walking in and out of the room. trying to sleep here would end no differently than her attempts at sleeping in a vehicle. third, she actually hated sitting back down in the stylist's chair to have her hair or makeup fixed after it was finished.

a nap really didn't seem worth the effort. instead, her gaze wandered around the room until she spotted mio who looked more awake than aeri felt, which wasn't a high bar to get over in the first place. grateful for someone to help occupy the lull, aeri made her way over before dropping into the seat beside mio.

"...you know, i was going to say i wish i was in wonder so i could get some sleep right now, but i just remembered they're starting their own promotions next week-" she let out a quiet laugh, shaking her head. "so never mind, it's a lose-lose situation because what are the chances they're actually sleeping instead of practicing right now?"

aeri's attention drifted downward, idly taking in their stage outfits. aside from a few small details, the entire group were dressed almost identically. she'd always liked looking like a team first with their individuality showing in the details. that, and the fact that matching outfits on stage made her think of sapphire. but as she was idly admiring their outfits, the bright red socks she was wearing drew a giggle out of her before she could stop it.

"...sorry, i keep looking at my socks." she covered her mouth for a second, but the smile refused to leave. she lifted one foot slightly off the floor, showing off the red pair to mio. "they're just..." another laugh interrupted her thought. "...they're really red. every time i look back down, it's like i'm seeing them for the first time. am i cursed, mio? because i don't think this should be as funny as i find it."

eventually, her laughter settled into a small smile, one that typically appeared on aeri's face whenever she talked to mio. aeri let her foot drop back to the floor before absentmindedly smoothing out her skirt.

AERI'S LYNKLIST

want to know what songs aeri's been listening to? take a look through her lynklist and the reason behind each track she selected!

Park Aeri (박애리) is a member of the South Korean girl group KISMET under KH Entertainment.

valentine's baby! born on february 14, 2004, and unfortunately she had made that fact most of her personality growing up. she is was completely obsessed with the idea of love and all of the different forms it comes in. romance novels, love songs, rom-coms, handwritten letters, soulmates, destiny, first loves… if it had anything to do with love, she was interested. she has found other interests and hobbies after joining kh entertainment as a trainee, but she still loves love.

despite how much she loves the idea of love, aeri is actually pretty cautious when it comes to herself. she falls in love with stories, songs, and possibilities much more easily than she falls for actual people. the reality of being vulnerable with someone is far more intimidating.

she's the child of a model and a businessman, and was raised to follow in her mother's footsteps. obviously she didn't, but she became very aware of herself and her appearance from an unusually young age from a young age. as a 22 year old, it left her with a tendency to be hyperaware of how she's perceived by others, and something she feels a little too aware. she sometimes comes off as vain for how much she cares about the little things, but it's just habit by now.

she's introverted. she's pretty quiet if a camera is off of her. aeri would much rather listen than to be the one speaking, and tends to people-watch to gauge how much of herself she wants to share.

if you manage to crack through those walls, she's a fiercely loyal and genuine friend. she's sincere, and she loves and cares others deeply. it kind of ties into her love for love. despite being penchant for solitude, she still gets attached to people more easily than she'd ever admit. she keeps her circle close to her heart.

she holds herself to impossible standards that nobody else cares about. aeri tends to focus on what she still lacks rather than what she's did good. if you ask aeri how she's doing after a performance, there's a good chance she'll immediately start talking about the areas she could've done better or the mistakes she made that nobody else noticed.

really likes dancing, and in turn also loves performing on stage. she kind of doesn't know what she's doing being an idol since she's not really good in all the other areas, but she feels like she's finally living once she's on stage.

she's into songwriting. she likes it, and it gives her a true purpose in kismet. she's hoping one day to write one of their title tracks, but she doesn't really have the confidence to think she's capable of that yet. if she's not writing, she can be found drawing something. if you ask kh staff, you can tell if a paper in a studio belonged to her based of the amount of doodles that covers any open space.

other things she's into: sapphire and origin. those two groups are the main reason she joined kh entertainment in 2018. but it's only publicly known she's a fan of sapphire. she'd rather shave her head, change her name, and move planets than admit to being a nexus. it's nothing against origin personally, she is just more embarassed by the thought of it being known since they're closer to her in age.

speaking of embarrassment, she is easily embarassed. if anything embarrasses her, she'll stay up at night thinking about it. experiencing second-hand embarrassment is just as bad, possibly even worse. but her reaction kind of makes her a fun target for others.

the public considers her boring if she's not on the stage, and she prefers it that way. the less sought after she is, the less she has to deal any criticism from the general public. but no matter how "boring" she tries to be, aeri continues to attract attention regardless. opportunities in the form of apperances in magazines continue to find their way to her, and she is afraid that she will be pushed further into the spotlight than she is comfortable with at the moment.

she's suprisingly stubborn. most assume she's passive because she's quiet and on the nonconfrontational side, but once she's made up her mind about something, she's difficult to sway. though, she can be convinced but only after a compelling argument backed by three sources.

plot ideas

childhood friends? she grew up in seoul. they may have though of her to be stuck up from how she acted or remember how set she was on becoming a model.

anyone that was a kh trainee at the same time as her? she joined in 2018. they likely watched her struggle through evaluations and stay to herself.

someone who somehow found out she's a fan of origin. there are several ways to go about this, and it all ends with the fact that aeri knows way too much about origin and the members for it to be casual or from being under the company so long. i think this could be a humorous plot since she'll never admit to it and come up with some bogus lie for why she knows certain things.

anyone into music production? she's more into songwriting, but she'd like to explore composing and arranging songs eventually. maybe just someone who exchanges lyrics and demos with her and offer honest feedback.

her closest friend(s)? someone (or a small group of people) who knows absolutely everything about her, is the first person she calls with good news or bad news, and one of the few people who gets to see her completely unfiltered. aeri can talk their ear off for hours if she's excited/passionate/upset about something, and this person has probably been subjected to many long-winded rants, emotional spirals, and late-night conversations since aeri deemed them her best friend.

someone who drags her to try new experiences because she tends to stay in her comfort zone. this friend likely also encourages her to pursue things she actually wants instead of things she thinks she should want.

industry senior who becomes a mentor figure for her? aeri still has a long, long way to go

someone that people constantly compare her to as a "friendly" rival in dance or performance? though, aeri doesn't really like the comparisons since she overthinks them.