Well I feel lost and empty, a shell many would say. I'm not good with words but I do know I miss you. I miss talking to you every morning while you do your makeup and getting ready for work while I'm already at work. I miss your sincere smile. I miss the sound of your voice. 10 years I've danced this dance, often by myself wishing I could talk to you, be there for you, show you love like no other man could show you. I had my chance and I feel as if I've thrown it away. I have a million tons on my shoulders just from work, the business, family, friends..... just waiting for it to crush me and since we don't talk anymore that weight has tripled. Everytime we talk I'm on cloud 9 and I know we aren't perfect but flaws make the beauty that much more enjoyable. I feel as if I have nowhere to vent. I have friends but nothing compares to hearing your reasoning, the softness of your voice. What a fool I've become, I don't want pity. I don't want you to ever feel sorry for me. I just want you to know I'm still here, I'm still trying to slay these demons of mine, I'm still climbing this mountain. There's a hole in my chest and its growing. You've had my heart for 10 years and you can have it for a lifetime. I know you're going through a lot but I want you to know I'll carry that weight with you even though I'm being crushed under my own.
I love you and I always will no matter what.
