mar ☆

angst - 🌿 , suggestive - 🪴, fluff - 🧸 , fake texts - 🍀, yandere - 🍃 , blurb - 🍂

⤷ OT8

picture 🍀🧸 hyung line | maknae line

doubt 🍀🌿🧸 hyung line | maknae line

empty sheets 🍀🧸 hyung line | maknae line

⤷ bang chan

bad idea, right? 🍂🪴

⤷ lee minho

you’re crazy 🍀🍃

⤷ seo changbin

gentle 🧸

⤷ hwang hyunjin

surprise 🧸

just friends? 🌿🧸

crave you 🧸

⤷ han jisung

the rush 🧸

⤷ lee felix

spark lost 🌿

⤷ kim seungmin

back to december 🌿🧸

over you 🌿

⤷ yang jeongin

secret secret 🌿

han jisung

lee felix

kim seungmin

yang jeongin

taglist : @vernorica123 @my-neurodivergent-world

bang chan

lee know

seo changbin

hwang hyunjin

taglist : @my-neurodivergent-world @vernorica123

You and Jeongin were friends in middle school, and you were inseperable ever since you two met. Everytime one of you had a place to be, the other one was there too.

Unlucky for you, your mom got a job offer at the other end of the country, so you had to move with your family.

It was hard to say goodbye. Not only to Jeongin, but to all your other friends, to your relatives, to your house. You lived there your whole life, so it was a big thing.

Big and overwhelming.

Your best friend was always there for you, and you just had to leave him like that. You and him made a secret vow that you’d keep in touch, and that nothing will change regardless the distance separating the two of you.

That was the first time you’ve broken a promise.

It was not that there was something wrong with him, no. If anything, it was the opposite. You couldn’t handle the thought of being away from him for what might be forever. So you decided to move on.

Sometimes, after all those years, you wondered if faith would ever connect you two again. A glint of hope sparked somewhere deep in your heart everytime you’d imagine a scenario of all the possibilities. It made your heart ache and twist, but you couldn’t help it. You always hoped.

That trust you had in fortune killed you slowly. It took all your strengths from you, and you didn’t even know why. You and Jeongin were just friends after all.

If so, then why were your cheeks stained with salty tears each time you thought of how he might’ve been gone from your life forever? Why, after all these years, you still couldn’t let him go?

The whirlpool of doubt lulled you to sleep each and every night, and it drive you crazy. It all was too much, especially with you having to move again soon, since you were leaving for college to study art, like you always dreamed to.

The day came, all of your suitcases and bags were packed, and you left to start a brand new chapter of your life.

You entered your brand new dorm, the floors freshly swept and the room looking too empty for comfort, bringing a claustrophobic shiver down your spine. You settle all of your belongings down and you make yourself at home. You’re going to spend a lot of time here.

The first day of classes went by pretty smoothly. You tried your best to keep up with taking notes and paying attention. You were doing pretty well so far.

Thats was until you stepped into art class. The one that you’ve been looking forward to the whole day.

You loved art dearly. Usually, if you weren’t busy with studying, you were most likely to be found with a paint brush, spilling your most abstract ideas onto canvas and making them come to life.

The art workroom was pretty small, and a few students were already seated, whispering away and glancing at one another.

You spot a similar silhouette sketching something in their journal. You recognize the breathtaking details of his face immediately.

Jeongin.

You weren’t even sure why did you recognize him after all this time. You haven’t seen him for so long, would he even remember who you are?

You decided to shoot your shot before the chance to redeem the long lost friendship is gone.

You approach him carefully, settling down in the chair next to him and setting your bag in the floor beside you.

“Hey. I like your drawing.” - whisper to him, making sure he hears but doesn’t get scared at the sudden voice.

Jeongin just looks at you confused.

“Hi..?” - his voice unsure and full of doubt. He didn’t recognize you. “Thanks, I’ve been working on it for a while.”

Your smile falters at the realization. Did Jeongin actually forget you?

Seems like he did. You decided not to back down and instead take that as an opportunity to try for something more than a friendship that made you feel trapped with your actual feelings towards him.

“You’re talented. What’s your name?” You ask him, trying to come of as confident. You notice a slight blush creep onto his cheek at the praise.

“Thanks, Jeongin. And you are?” He shyly asks, his eyes finally looking up to capture yours.

He noticed that familiar spark in your eyes that ounce brought hum so much joy. He knew he recognized you, but he couldn’t figure out why.

You couldn’t really blame him. You’ve changed a lot since the last time he saw you. Your face matured, you’ve lost some weight, and the fire in your eyes wasn’t burning as bright anymore.

“I’m y/n” You answer hesitantly, as you start unpacking your bag and placing the items carefully on the desk.

The whispers in his head seemed to be repeating your name louder and louder, yet they still were so quiet. Who were you? He got lost in his thoughts, zoning out as the class started.

Jeongin couldn’t help but glance at you every now and then during the class. You were beautiful after all, it was natural for him to do so.

You couldn’t quite focus in the subject the teacher was rambling about, color theory was not your favourite thing. Furthermore, the scent of Jeongin’s cologne was even more distracting.

You knew it all so well. The way his fingers fidgeted with his pen, his leg bouncing on the floor in a steady pace and his lips forming into a slight pout everytime he’d focus on taking notes.

It was the essence of Jeongin. His effortless charm and the behaviour that made every person spark with curiosity, was purely him.

All you could think of doing was asking him out. You knew now was not the time, but you were absolutely aching to do it. You were resisting the urge to talk to him with every single ounce of will you had left in your body.

So you fought through it. As soon as the class was done, you flashed Jeongin a quick smile and left after grabbing all your belongings.

It made your heart ache and your limbs felt twisted, but you knew that you couldn’t force Jeongin into being just as in love with you as you were in love with him.

It was not possible.

The pain you were in was absolutely agonizing.

Your whole body felt like it was being ripped apart and it made you feel like shit. You imagined you looked even worse.

Lying down on your bed in your boyfriend’s baggy t-shirt and comically large pyjama pants was the closest thing to comfort you could think of. Not even a heating pad could help right now.

Your period cramps were always pretty bad, but for some reason, this time was like all your previous periods combined.

With your legs curled up all the way up to your chest in an attempt to soothe the torturous pain in your body that only seemed to be growing.

Something quiet snapped you out of your thoughts, a soft sound of footsteps against the wooden floor of your room. You felt a comforting arm wrap around your waist, pulling you closer gently to a warm embrace that you knew so well.

Changbin was always there when you needed him the most. In moments like this, where it felt like the whole world was collapsing and falling right onto you, he was there to ease your struggles.

“I know you’re in pain sweetheart. I’m sorry. I wish I could take away all this suffering from you.”—Soft whispers from him filled your ears and echoed throughout your head. Not in a bad way, like a headache, but in a butterflies-flying-around-rainbow-coloured-clouds type of way.

“Thank you, Binnie.” You whisper back as you turned around to face him. You lower your body slightly so that you can press your forehead against his chest.

Changbin placed his hand on your occiput as a form of reassurance. The sensation grounded you in the moment, almost making you forget about the ache flowing through your limbs.

He pressed his lips on your forehead and pulled back slightly. His thumb running soft circles on the back of your head as he muttered words that were so close to being incoherent.

“I’ll be right back.” He murmured as he got up and you were left alone, again.

Before you know it, a sweet scent of strawberries filled your nostrils. Changbin has brought you a bowl full of fruit coated in a layer of chocolate.

You sat up carefully, trying not to disturb your grieving uterus. You took the dish into your hand and you flashed your boyfriend a smile.

Maybe it wasn’t a huge grin, but he could tell it was genuine. He knew how much you appreciated being taken care of, and the thought of you being pampered by him resulted in an uncontrolled giggle coming out of him.

“What?”— You looked up at him with a confused expression as you took one of the berries into your mouth which made him chuckle even more. The cuteness radiating from you was a truly heartwarming sensation, the best he could ever imagine feeling.

“Nothing. I just really love you.” You opened your mouth to speak, but he didn’t let you finish.

“Like, I know this is stupid, but I really appreciate you wanting to be with me. Sometimes I don’t even understand how did I get so lucky. You’re actually my everything.”

You felt tears swelling up in your eyes—probably another one of your period symptoms. You placed the fruit bowl next to you on the bed as you crawled closer to the boy.

“I love you so much baby.” You exclaimed joyfully as you wrapped your hands around the back of his neck.

You could practically feel the heat rushing to his face, and for the first time that night, it felt like it wasn’t him that was comforting the other.

It has been months since you and Seungmin broke up. You weren't quite sure if the breakup was mutual, but you knew it would be the best for you. It's not that you didn't love him. You did, and that was the problem.

You had noticed Seungmin's apathy right after you two met, but you never thought much of it.

You just co-existed and tried to endure it.

At this point, it was hard to remember why were you two even dating in the first place. you were utterly in love with Seungmin, and for him you were just there. No matter if you were crying over or excited about getting a degree, maybe he was there, a shoulder to cry on, but he never shared your emotions.

He was never as excited or sad as you, sometimes it felt like he was absolutely emotionless. Like he was just a body without a soul.

But things got out of hand one evening.

December, last year

You got blackout drunk a party. That type of drunk when you’re not sure if you’re in bed or are you on your way to pay the pearly gates an early visit.

You were puking in the bathroom and your throat felt like it was completely gone. The pain was absolutely agonizing. And you were alone.

Seungmin had left the party, and you didn’t even know. Maybe he gave you and acknowledging glance before going, but it still wasn’t enough.

So there you were, alone on the bathroom floor, feeling you’re about to enter heaven. Or actually hell.

After a few days of not speaking to eachother, you just had to stand up for yourself. And as you should. It was the right thing to do. You invited your boyfriend over, made coffee for the two of you, and you sat down next to him to confront him.

“Would you like to explain why you left me alone at that party, or will you just pretend that it’s not a big deal?” you said, annoyance clearly evident through your tone.

“Because it’s not a big deal. You’re an adult, I don’t have to pamper you 24/7.” Seungmin said, his words coming of a bit sharper than he intended.

Ouch.

“So you think that I, in my blackout drunk state, am fully capable of driving myself back home? Seriously, you could’ve at least done that.” you spat out. You didn’t even try to compose your anger, you’ve had enough of his careless manner towards you.

“Y/n, that’s not what I’m saying! I mean that you’re a responsible person, and you also could’ve stopped yourself from drinking like a fucking alcoholic!” He barked back at you, his voice full of venom and his tone almost mocking.

“And just because of that, you couldn’t step in and tell me to stop or anything? Seriously, Seungmin, do you still care about me?” You hissed at his remark, word spilling from your mouth before you can think about them.

Seungmin sighs. No answer.

“Have you ever even cared?” you muttered.

Your tone softened, but not in a good way.

It was that kind of way where your voice started cracking, your throat hurting, announcing the tears that are about to spill.

Throughout your whole relationship with him, you tried to never ever doubt his love. But you were failing more with every second that you soent with him.

“Listen y/n. You can’t just-“ Seungmin tried to explain, but you didn’t let him speak. You already knew the answer to the question that lingered in your head for so long.

“Get out of my house, Seungmin.” You demanded sharply, your cold tone almost made him feel something.

So he did. He didn’t even try to fight you over it. All he did was shoot you a blank look, making sure you knew how unaffected he was by your words.

Present

Months passed, and there hasn’t been a single day where Seungmin wasn’t the only thought spiralling in your head like a whirpool that was rapidly sucking you in.

You tried convincing yourself that it would pass quickly, or that your mind knew better than to care for someone that left you without a word.

It felt natural to wonder if he did the same.

Were you ever still on his mind?

Did the image of you haunt him in his dreams like he did in yours?

Has your scent ever passed his nose, and was there ever a spark of hope that he would catch a glimpse of you in public?

How many times did he picture you before falling asleep, the thought of the times when he woke up next to you lulling him to sleep?

Little did you know, you were stuck in his head too.

Ever since the moment he left your apartment, something inside of him shifted. He started feeling some sort of numbness fleeting through his body and his blood running thicker than before.

And after the few months that have passed, he couldn’t handle it anymore.

Each night, his muscles felt tighter and his heart felt heavier.

Empathy could only be found in the deepest chambers of his soul, yet he found himself longing for you more than he’d admit to.

Maybe he was too scared to tell anyone, but he was sorry. He felt bad about every single thing he did to you. For forgetting about your needs.

Life without you became meaningless. It took a while for it to click in his mind, but he realised what he had when he was with you.

He never had to worry about cooking dinner after coming home late. You were there.

He always had someone to take his anger out on. You were there.

He never had to feel unwanted or unloved. Because you were there.

And now, it was all lost. Seungmin found himself contemplating more and more everyday, before finally gainging to courage to swallow his pride, stand in front of you and and say he’s sorry.

He wouldn’t admit, but he was ready to beg.

He walked up the stairs that led to your apartment, the staircase so familiar, he could walk there with his eyes closed.

The flowers he carried in his hand were gripped tightly, their thorns about to rip through his skin. But he didn’t even feel it.

The only things he was feeling after leaving you was despair and numbness.

Walking up to the door, he slightly raised his free arm, his knuckless knocking against the dark wood.

That moment, a matter of seconds, made him feel more than in the last thousand years.

You opening the door witb a creeking sound, and stepping back when you see who’s standing in front of you.

The soft glow of the staircase lamp behind him making him look like a saint. Of course, you remembered what he looked like. You only forgot about the charm Seungmin carried with himself everywhere he went.

It has been months since you’ve last spoken, even longer since you’ve seen him face to face.

It took you by surprise, the sight of your ex with his pouty expression plastered on his face.

It made your heart ache. The silence stretching between you, as you could practically feel your heart heating up at the sight of the face that you never quite forgot how to love.

“Y/n…” Seungmin started carefully, his tone gentle in an attempt not to scare you off.

“Why are you here?” You asked, unsure of which way is this about to go.

You were trying so hard to hold yourself back from just jumling straight into his arms to let our everything you’ve been holding in since last years december.

Every night before falling asleep, you repeated a statement in your head over and over again, like repeating a lie would make it come true.

“I don’t love him anymore”

You manifested to yourself. Yet, it was still him your eyes searched for in every room you entered.

“Y/n look, I know that I’m a piece of shit, and that I’ve been an apathetic asshole to you. But I am sorry. I am truly. I never said this enough when we were together, but I’m ready to beg on my knees if I have to. I’m sorry for every date that i cancelled, for every I love you that I didn’t say back, for every time that I-“

“You’re rambling, Min.” You softly smiled at him. You didn’t even know if it was the right thing to do, or was it the glass of wine you drank earlier that night. Taking him back, after everything that happened, but you were ready to give it a shot

Seungmin’s shoulders relaxed at the sound of the nickname. His gaze lightening just a bit, and only now you could feel that you’re looking at him. Really looking at him.

“I know, it’s just- I really fucking miss you Y/nnie. Please, give me anither chance to prove myself to you.” he muttered, but there was little to no hope sounding out in his voice.

“Come in Minnie.” You said with a slight, but unsure grin, opening the door wider for him to feel welcomed back into the familiar ambience that once brought him so much comfort.

And stepping back into your apartment made him feel heavenly.

The soft smell of the candles burning and the calm, cozy aura the place was surrounded with naturally, made his whole body relax.

Once again, he was at peace. And he was sure not to mess it up ever again.

Jisung has always noticed that odd warmth unveiling uncomfortably in his stomach everytime he caught himself staring at you for a bit longer than intended.

He felt every single one of his heartstrings snapping when you flashed him a smile. Even the quickest and the smallest one made his heart skip beats and pump so fast, he almost felt it in his throat.

His feelings drove him crazy, yet he couldn’t shake the thought of you off his mind. All the late nights he spent thinking about you, picturing your face, doing things he wouldn’t admit to doing. Sometimes he felt a little insane with how often you filled his mind.

But deep inside, Jisung knew that he would be the best boyfriend that you could ever dream of. So sweet and loving, so caring and genuine.

He wasn’t in love. It was just a thought.

So he acted normal whenever he was around you. You two were absolutely nothing more than friends. Casual. Yet there was an undeniable amount of despair coating him whenever you’d mention another boy.

Whether it was you talking about yourself going on a date soon, you crying over how your ex cheated on you or you mentioning a male celebrity crush, it made his heart ache.

Han always tried to explain it as “being tired of being single” or “being jealous about how many people y/n is able to pull”. He tried so intensely to believe it, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t help but feel that little spark growing bigger at the very bottom of his heart.

Now his eyes still heavy from sleep and limbs still making a mess with the tangled sheets, he opens his phone right after waking up to check for any important news.

And he saw it.

“im coming over tonight. you better have snacks at yours, love ya<3”

A sweet message from you that made his heart do a tiny backflip. Without realizing it, a small grin started engraving itself onto his face. It was normal for friends to be excited to see each other, right?

A few hours and a few back and forth texts with you later, Jisung prepared a cozy setting for the two of you for tonight. Nothing too crazy, just a few blankets, pillows and lots of snacks.

He remembered every single detail about what makes a movie night the perfect night for you, and he always made the expectations come true. It was the only right thing to do for your best friend of so many years. At least that’s what helped him sleep at night

And you came. Looking like an absolute goddess even in your most comfortable clothes, with no makeup on and a messy hairstyle.

Just with a single glance, he noticed every single detail about your appearance.

How singular strands of your hair framed your face perfectly, your hair tie doing nothing to stop them from getting in your eyes.

How your lashes looked extra long today, even though they had no mascara on. You probably curled them right before leaving.

How your sweater had the slightest stain, barely even noticeable. So of course he saw it. He noticed everything. But he told himself that he was just a very observant person.

He welcomed you in as usual, and you made yourself comfortable on the couch as Jisung put on your favourite show.

Grabbing a pint of ice cream and a spoon, you shot your friend a glance and you simply said

“Thanks for trying. It’s rare to find a friend like you these days.”

Han just looked at you and stopped. What was happening to him? Why was he reacting like this?

“You deserve it.” He tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, still he wasn’t sure if it was working.

Even after he finished talking, he didn’t look away. How could he? You were so effortlessly beautiful. You look back at him with a confused look and the tip of his ears went immediately red as he turned to the TV with the speed of light.

Not thinking much of it, you did the same and went back to your ice cream.

Jisung couldn’t quite focus on the characters moving on the screen and the sounds echoing across the room anymore.

Thoughts where rushing through his mind. What was that feeling untying in his chest each time you’d spare him a glance? Was it something more than a friendship he wanted with you?

Breaking him out of his trance, your giggle suddenly filled the room as a funny moment came on the show. And that was it for him.

It was all the confirmation he needed.

Han Jisung loved you.

Your eyes were almost closing by themselves as you tried your best to keep your hand on the steering wheel. You were almost there, when you received a text message.

“I miss you, come home soon and drive safe. I love you”

Something as simple as that, yet it made you feel wanted. It made you feel like your existence actually had a purpose different than eating, sleeping, reproducing and dying.

Hyunjin made you feel alive.

You were snapped out of your little trance-like state by a car honking at you, signaling you to move since the red light switched to green.

You park your car in your usual spot, grab your bag and get out as quickly as you possibly can.

You were exhausted. Maybe taking the night shift wasn’t your brightest idea, but it was the best you could do with all the shit bothering you at the moment. Studying at university, taking care of your apartment, all doctor appointments you planned for god knows what reason. It was all too much to handle.

You take the elevator to the second floor, since you felt like all of your limbs gave up on you a very long time ago, and you walk up to the familiar door of your safe place.

Taking and twisting the doorknob in your hand sends a shiver down your spine due to the coldness of it, but right now, your body felt so numb, to the point where you barely noticed anything happening around you.

As soon as you step into the apartment, a calming scent of vanilla and burning incense hits your nostrils and you can finally feel.

Feel you body relaxing, feel your senses coming back, but you also feel something weird.

An odd, yet pleasant sensation starts pooling in your chest.

Somehow, you found comfort in it. You knew it was a place of warmth and love. It was exactly how Hyunjin made you feel.

You felt him before you saw him. You let out a sigh while kicking off your heels that felt like needles being stuck in your feet for the past 10 hours straight.

As you look up, you notice a soft figure standing in the doorframe of your bedroom, and by muscle memory, you walk up to him and wrap your arms around him.

Hyunjin pulls you into his embrace immediately. His presence was so calm, yet that single hug made you feel sure of everything you ever doubted.

You two didn’t need words to communicate. They were absolutely unnecessary. It felt even better when it was only the silence wrapping around you both like a blanket made out of pure warmth and bliss.

You pull away from him slowly like it’s the most excruciatingly painful thing to do. Actually, it was. You just knew that you have to get ready for bed before you felt 100% comfortable.

Hyunjin just looked down at you and smiled.

“Let me take care of you. I’ve been craving this moment all day long. Craving you.”

You weakly nod, too tired to even think of protesting. Not that you would, you love being pampered by your boyfriend. So you let him do so.

He picked you up effortlessly and carried you to the bathroom carefully, almost as if you could shatter like glass at any given moment. He sat you down at the edge of the bathtub and began working magic.

Grabbing some makeup remover wipes, his hands glided so smoothly and thoughtfully over your skin, it felt like ascending to heaven.

Keeping your eyes open was a struggle, but one that he didn’t mind. Not in the slightest.

“You can close your eyes. Rest, baby.”

So you let the pleasure overtake you. With your eyes closed now, you treasured every single touch that your face got blessed with by him.

He took your favourite hairbrush, and dreaded it through your hair as softly as he possible could. Hyunjin gathered every strand and collected it into a lose ponytail, since he didn’t want to pull on it too much.

He left you for a moment before coming back with one of his hoodies and pyjama pants. The material was so warm, fresh out the dryer.

“Can I?” He asked, pointing to your clothes. His voice barely above a whisper, since knew better than not to disturb you in your peaceful state.

After you nodded Hyunjin started undressing you. The moment was intimate, sure, but it was not sexual. It was different from all the times where Hyunjin took your clothes off to make love to you. This time, he showed his love to you. And you were absolutely digging every single second of it.

When you were all changed, the boy gently lifted you up, his hands resting delicately on your waist, trying his best not to hurt you or wake you up too much from the relaxation he put you in himself.

When you finally arrived to the bedroom, he placed you down on the bed, and slid into the empty spot next to you.

Pulling you into his arms, the only words that spiralled in his head finally found their escape through his mouth.

“I love you, y/n” He whispered into your ear.

Relaxing into the feeling of warmth and calmness radiating off of you, he joined you in a peaceful slumber.

Your soft breath lulling him into sleep, as the only thing that could be felt in the calm ambiance of the room was pure and unconditional love.

bang chan

lee minho

seo changbin

hwang hyunjin

Being the best friend of a worldwide known and loved idol was not exactly easy. It was torture, in fact. Especially if you were a girl. More than that, a girl who was helplessly in love with him.

Hyunjin had his own way of charming everyone within a 100 meter radius of him and it be drove you fucking crazy.

It was daily life for him to be surrounded by female staff and women who worked for JYPE, but something about it always made you feel uneasy.

Before, you tried to ignore it. But now, after you realized how badly you wanted Hyunjin, you stopped rejecting the feelings. You let yourself be jealous, and you let yourself love him. A little too much for your own good.

Harsh reality hit you everytime you saw him with another girl. Whether she was his coworker or a random bimbo he flirted with at a party, it reminded you that you weren’t a married couple with 3 children. He was your friend. And that’s what you also were to him. Just a friend.

Hyunjin was very much oblivious to your feelings. So oblivious, he invited you everywhere he possibly could. Sometimes you even were in the studio while him and his other members were making their music.

But today, you were with him while he was getting ready for one of his shows on tour. It was close to your hometown, so he asked staff to give you a backstage pass.

At first, everything was normal and calm. Chatter and laughter filled the room where you, Hyunjin, the other members and a few staff were.

There were still a few hours left before the show started, so everyone was mainly chilling and nobody was in a rush. It was nice to finally spend some time with all of the boys in peace.

Time passed quickly, and everyone started getting ready to go on stage. The makeup artists walked into the room and set their stuff down, getting ready to work.

You sat on the couch, scrolling through your instagram feed, trying to ignore the cute girl doing Hyunjin’s makeup. You attempted to convince yourself that they’re both professionals and wouldn’t get into a workplace romance, but you still felt that unpleasant shiver creeping down your neck at the sight if him laughing with another girl.

And you couldn’t help it anymore. Tears started swelling in your eyes as you tried to keep yourself as composed as possible. Nothing was quite working. You rushed yourself to the bathroom, silently hoping that Hyunjin actually would notice your absence.

You locked yourself in one of the stalls, trying to keep your sobs as faint you could. And you waited. You didn’t know what exactly for. Maybe for Chan to come looking for you and asking if you’re here, maybe for staff to ask if you’re fine, but mostly you were hoping for your best friend to come in.

It couldn’t matter less if he was coming in to piss or to look for you, you just wanted to feel him. You wanted to feel his presence. Because after all, it was all you ever dreamed of. To wake up with him by your side, to share every moment of your life with him.

You wanted to laugh with him, to cry with him, make love to him, to fight with him just for one of you to admit that the other was right and apologize, you wanted all of Hyunjin to yourself.

And yet, here you were. Alone in a fucking bathroom. Nobody came. Not Chan, not staff and not Hyunjin.

“Such a crybaby and for what.” - you thought to yourself, more like a statement rather than a question, as you unlocked the door, walking out the stall to get blinded by the bright lights of the venue’s restroom as if you weren’t grounded enough already.

You came up to the sink, to wash your hands, to fix your hair, in general at least try to look pretty even though you knew you were slowky crumbling on the inside. Not slowly actually. You were falling apart.

You straighten out your clothes swiftly while you make your way back to the room where everyone was, and when you enter, Hyunjin flashes you a soft, genuine smile. It literally takes everything and more in you to not completely crash out right then and there.

The show was about to start in just 20 minutes, and as everyone was in the chaos of preparing to perform, you were finally left alone with Hyunjin who was all ready to go and do his very best on stage.

“Crazy day today isn’t it? Everyone is such a mess. I bet Chan is losing his mind.” - Hyunjin says with a grin on his face, trying to make small talk since something was obviously off with you.

And oh my god. He was so effortlessly beautiful and graceful in everything he did. It felt like the boy could pick his nose and he would still look like Michelangelo’s sculpture.

“Yeah, but I’m sure you’ll do great anyway.” - you reply quietly with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. You were avoiding his gaze as much as you could, because you knew that the second your eyes would lock, you would absolutely be ruined.

“Me, yes. those other idiots, we will see.” - he teasingly says, but the second he notices you not giggling at his remark, immediate worry flushes over him.

“Y/n, what’s the deal with you lately? I feel like you’ve been trying to distance yourself from me, and i can’t figure out why. Please, talk to me. You’re my best friend, I truly don’t want to lose you.” he adds after a second of thinking.

The pure honesty makes you freeze for a second. Not because of the way he was confronting you, it’s because it was true. You were isolating yourself from Hyunjin in hopes that would make your feelings go away. Newsflash: it didn’t.

As you finally gather uo the courage to look at him, it’s like you are hypnotised by him into telling the truth.

“That’s the thing Hyunjin. You’re my best friend. And I just can’t keep pretending I’m cool with that.”

You notice his gaze softening, but you see no hint understanding in his eyes. His face is one of pure confusion.

“Don’t you get it? I’m in love with you! Are you seriously that oblivious Hyunjin? Do you know how much it hurts me that we’re under the constant label of ‘just friends’?”

You knew your wirds might have been a little harsh, but it was too late to turn back now. It was either this, or running out of the room, crying and hoping you get hit by a golf cart on your way out.

His lips part, but he doesn’t speak. The phrase hit him like a train. I’m in love with you. Your voice echoing through his head in an endless loop. But he didn’t mind. He liked the way the words rolled of your tongue. Especially since you were speaking to him.

He just didn’t know how to tell you that.

“Y/n, I-“

His voice getting cut off by a loud yell coming from the leader of the group.

“OKAY EVERYONE, GATHER HERE. BEFORE SHOW MOTIVATION STARTS NOW!”

“Y/n, I promise I’ll talk to you after the show. I have to go.”

In that moment you felt like you’re about to explode. You just confessed your years long live for him and this is how he responds? Unacceptable. You could almost physically feel your blood starting to boil

“Hyunjin, are you seriou-”

Before you can finish your anger outburst caused sentece, his lips crash over yours in a deep, passionate but desperate kiss. And that’s all you needed to know that his feelings were there too. All along.

After a little, he pulls away slightly with his hands still cupping your soft face. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t need to. The silence speaks enough and it was all you wanted.

After a few more yells from Chan, Hyunjin blesses your plump, slightly swollen lips with a quick peck, whispering the three words you were so desperately longing to hear.

“I love you too, y/n.”

And he runs to his group, for a few final encouragement words before kicking off the stage. You knew this show was going to be good.