D.ottie?

In my Internalized Homophobia Heiji, I would like to go through more on the concept of love.

Because love is such a strong word and feelings to just downright it as affection. But, it's more than that. It's an intimacy, emotion, and fascination that everyone feels, and love doesn't direct towards one fixation. It bloom in the way that no one could've imaging, it's something complicated yet so completed when it's right there for you, for us to choose, to love.

I have this scenario in my head, where Kazuha did love Heiji, and Heiji also love Kazuha but not in the way that Kazuha would want him to. I imaging where Heiji already realizes his feelings for men but still in doubt about it. (because It's in the late 19's and homosexual is still out of the norm even outside of Japan)

He's scared to tell anyone, even his parents who always have his trust, but he had seen how people who had feelings like this were cast out, (He can't stand being alone) he loves his parents, but he doesn't know what's in their head, especially on how traditional they are.

I just imaging where Heiji and Kazuha have blowout and arguements. Kazuha doesn't understand, Heiji has said that he loves her yet, he couldn't accept it when she tried to loving him back (It's not particularly because Heiji had rejected her even though Heiji said he loved her first, It's more of a why wouldn't he wanted to be with her when he clearly loves her too)

This blowout had caused both of them to cry, questioning everything they had together, Kazuha's feelings, Heiji’s feelings and everything. This makes them not talk to eachother for months, untill Kazuha had enough.

She cornered Heiji, she asked, and beg him just to tell her, she swore that won't be mad, she won't be mad that Heiji’s with someone else or Heiji’s just not ready, she just couldn't stand them being apart like this anymore.

This time, there wasn't any screaming, or yelling, but it hurts them way more than it did a few months ago. Kazuha cries, still questioning because Heiji’s just wouldn't answer her, while Heiji is reluctant to tell her because he's more scared of losing her like this, than losing her before.

Kazuha was about to leave, left everything behind and never looked back, untill Heiji cries, he cries like the things that are holding him back is too much to bear, too scared to be judged and left just for his feelings. Kazuha can't just stand there, she comforts Heiji and cries by his side because not omce has Heiji ever breaks down, and right now he did all because of her.

After everything was calm down, both of their eyes were still red rims, Heiji had finally told her.

She realizes, oh how stupid and too much love that Heiji just had gives. Heiji told her about the feelings, the scared and the internalized homophobia he has, and how stupid she felt. It was clear as the sky yet she denied it every time in the past, no wonder Heiji was so scared.

It's true that Heiji loves her, but It's not the type of love that she had expected, but It's still loves too, Heiji loves so many things he gives his heart out, and not every loves is the same as people wanted him too, just like her when she realizes that.

Love is still love

Yet, every

Love is different from each loves

It hurts her that Heiji doesn't love her the way she wanted him to, but she's so grateful. It hurts more than a pierces sharp through her skin. But, she could change her love too.

Thank you! On the earlier part, to me no one actually know who Paikaru is, in the Black Organization, they only know a few things about Paikaru. In the Organization hierarchy, all they know is that Paikaru status is above Rum eventhough Rum is Karasuma second-in-command.

None of the members actually even met Paikaru, they only learn about the codename when I think the Organization has a meeting or something like that and there's two chairs missing, Karasuma chair, and Paikaru chair. Another few things that the Organization members know is that, Paikaru is a codename that's been in the Organization for a long time, they don't know how long that time actually is.

Sooo, no one knows about Heiji’s identity, only his codename, because no one knows what he looks like?

I think from a considerable timeline in Detective Conan, I felt like Paikaru codename is only mentioned shortly after Rum's arc.

Takehiko Shin has been in the Black Organization for three years, he rises through the rank and got a codename that's rightfully his. To the Black Organization, he's still too early to be in any type of form that could damage their status, but not too restricted to send him to any type of mission that could possibly use him as a sacrifice.

He can't complain, the Black Organization pays too well for him to question anything. He has a younger brother that he has to take care of, a three year old baby brother. His parents had him when they were too young, he can't say that they're a bad parents when his grandparents who actually raised him early on, yet both of them still try to be involved in his life, every birthday, every holiday, they both would be there with him. When they finally can get married by the legal age of law, his parents cry when they finally can take him in and raise him on their own. His mother is pregnant again after years, he's eighteen now when his mom announced that she's having another baby, Shin is visibly happy, he always wanted a siblings, but It's quite to late for him to actually bonded with them once he thinks about it due to their age gap, but he's happy nonetheless. Untill, when almost her due date, a drunk driver crash into their car. Shin wasn't there, he was at a school trip when it had happen. He had rush to the hospital when he heard what had happen only to find out It's too late, his father had died on impact while his mother is live is on a thin line, there's no hope on saving her but the baby, his baby brother have hope to survive.

The adoption process is long and torture, he dropped out of high-school and used his college savings just to win the rights to take care of his brother. That's when the Black Organization came into his life, he's desperate, he can't leave his baby brother just like that, they have no extended family, his grandparents had died when he was fourteen, and the only choice at that time for his baby brother is an orphanage, he can't just abandoned his only family member. The Black Organization gave him hope, a deal. The deal is simple, once Takehiko Shin joins them they'll use what they can to give him his baby brother, at first Shin didn't believe it, he said that he wants his brother first as a proved that they can do it, if they can, than Takehiko Shin life's will be in the hand of the Black Organization.

It didn't even take them a month, that his baby brother, his Yuki, is in his arms. He cries when the judge said that he's fit to take care of him. Good enough to adopt him, Shin knows that It's probably the Black Organization pulling some string behind the court, and he's grateful for that. In the end, truth to his words, he joined the Black Organization.

Working for the Organization and as a construction worker as a cover almost took his entire time, that he couldn't watch his brother the whole time. He can't leave Yuki without any supervision, he needs a babysitter. Shin hangs up a flyer here and there, looking for a babysitter that can come anytime when the Organization needs him, meaning even at night that the babysitter can also come to take care of Yuki. That's how Shin met him, the boy particularly shoved the flyer to his face, saying that he can babysat Yuki anytime, whenever, and anywhere when Shin's need, at first Shin declined, the boy is a teenager, he can't possibly have such a flexible time with school and such. But he assured him he could, just right at the worst moment, he got a mission from the Organization.

Shin sigh, he has no choice but to trust the teenager at the moment, before he leaves, he makes sure to guide few basic things to the teen on what Yuki likes or dislikes, and his bedtime in case the mission drags his time until it's midnight. Shin makes sure to catch the boy's name first, it sounds familiar, like he had heard his name somewhere before. His name is -

For the first time after a while, the princess finally get to see her love who had come to save her.

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Please, bear with me. This took me hours, (months actually) to finish, and I can't drew crown, body, and so many more for fuck sake ༼;´༎ຶ۝ ༎ຶ༽

Hattori Heiji 'hates' Hattori Heizo with burning passion, yet he can't help himself but to put the man on a high pedestal. He hates how he didn't get to suffer like how he suffered when it was his own father who put his son through this. He knows he could have just killed his old man, but he can't, he had thought amd dream of it before, but throws up when it gets too graphic on how he'd do it.

He wants that old man to die, but he can't stand the thought of living without him, he hates how Heizo got away from everything that held what the Hattori's name even is. He hates how Heizo got the choice to choose, when he can't. He was forced, he hates-...

Is it even hatred that he felt when he dreaded the thoughts of hurting Heizo or him getting hurt? Or the thought of his father who raised him with love and affection? Acception. No, he hates how It's just about how Heizo actually love him, and how he is forced to hurt him and thinks about him in this way.

Also how does the siblings react to Conan? And also about how much Hattori talked about Kudo (to the point Kazuha think Kudo is a girl he has a crush on)

Yeahhh, imaging poor Heiji having to dodge a Superintendent Supervisor police father and a soon to be lawyer brother questioning gaze when he got hurt or feeling down after his mission. 😂

Ryō doesn't get to see it much, well since he's off to college studying law, and come back once in a while to visit. Ryō is unfortunately someone what we called 'chronically online' and when he hears Heiji sputtering about how he wants to meet this Kudo, because he's a high-school detective just like Heiji is. Ryō immediately search up the name and have dug mildly untill he finds out what school Shinichi goes to, and all about Yusaku and Yukiko. Sooo, Ryō already knows a tons before Heiji even officially meet Shinichi...

While Yuuka, she teases the living shit out of Heiji, at first, she didn't think much about it when Heiji first talks about Kudo, but it got worse immediately after Heiji got to meet the guy that Yuuka started to feel annoyed. She and Kazuha weren't as close as Heiji and Kazuha is, they could talk comfortably with eachother, and when Kazuha voices her concerns (jealously), when Heiji goes to meet this Kudo girl repeatedly already. She started to tease Heiji about it, she mostly teases how Heiji is making Kazuha jealous for it, rather than actually acknowledge about Kudo.

For Conan, Ryō again unfortunately hasn't met the boy, he only knows about Conan because Shizuka would always contact him during his free time/breaks for an update or to update him about their life, and one of the few messages about Heiji is, on how he got close with a little boy named Conan. Ryō only gives a snarky remark on how Heiji is quick to replace him with another brother, lol.

Honestly, there weren't much that I could think off? But, to me the Hattori's seems like a family of blunt people. Well, Heiji is blunt, and surely Shizuka is also quite blunt during her appearance on ep 221. Which make me thinks that Yuuka, Heiji little sister is just as blunt as they are. She's quiet, selfish and unemphatic to the situation around her. She's logical, she doesn't stand any nonsense that's thrown to her, and she would earned what she want's. Yuuka doesn't have quite the ambitions towards anything just yet, she's the type of person who's too familiar with the concept of fellings yet doesn't fully understand what's it is. She can't understand what she truly wants, and she knows living like this is pitiful as what she would say, so Yuuka is determine to find her own ambitious life.

She's pretty athletic too, I think all of the Hattori Siblings went through kendo, and not just Heiji because of how their parents are. Yuuka would work her way up to play tons of sports that's amusing for her other than kendo, and she found badminton is not that bad. Yuuka is smart, she wouldn't say that she's as smart or smarter than her older brothers, but It's enough to get her on top of her class and school year. I would say that Yuuka is a beauty, but she isn't as popular as you would think she is. Yuuka have a speech problems called Dysarthria, it doesn't bother her that too much but the isolation from her peers is deafening.

For Ryō personality, I also didn't put too much thought on it just like Yuuka, just yet, since I really don't know how to make a complete personality for my oc's. But Ryō is also blunt, he just way more subtle than Shizuka, Heiji, and Yuuka is, just like Heizo who's also blunt but he's subtle about it. Ryō is logical, he's self-discipline, confident, but sarcastic, selfish, and apathetic like his little sister. But, he knows how to control himself, he grew calm, calculated, and planned his moved before working. He's the type of person to thought of every possible aspects that could happen and be prepared, Ryō is studying to be in the law firm afterall. He already had set on what he wants in his life and have backup plans just in case.

For interaction with eachother, I can't help but have them in just any normal siblings relationship that's full of chaos.

Ryō and Heiji would always constantly fights over little things like who washes the dishes last time, or would fight for hoarding the fans during the summer. They would called eachother names, belittled looks that Heiji would called Ryō a horse since he says he looked like one and Yuuka a pony just to suit the aesthetic of the horse and pony. While they called Heiji a chimpanzee for his brash personality. Yuuka would constantly teases her brothers, calling them smartass and nerds but Ryō would always bite back that she's also a smartass.

I ship Heizuha, Shinran, Heishin, Kazuran, Heikuba, Kaikuba, Ranoko, Kazunoko, Kaihei, Seraran, makonoko, ShiShin, Shiran, heishi, and many, many more. I feel like some may not know the ships name, hell even I actually don't know the ship names, and just butchered their name and smothered it all together to make it all sensed (´-_ゝ-`)