je t’aimerai toujours

He has never brought you up before

But that day he asked if you were seeing someone else

Obviously I didn’t have an answer

But he immediately doubted the idea that you were

Because

And I quote

“He loves you”.

I felt my heart sink and stop when he said that

Because I know that it’s probably true

And if my dad knew that

Then maybe you really weren’t that bad

And maybe we could of had something

And maybe you still would have been here.

But I just sat there

Holding back the tears.

Knowing that you probably do still love me

And that I do still love you

And we are just two souls

Meant to be

But meant to be apart

And that hurts.

It aches

It pains me

And I’m just going to any distractions I can

To not think of you.

It’s bad, I know

Using these people.

But talking to them, flirting,

It feels good

I don’t think of you.

And sleeping with him,

I forget about you for an hour

And it’s so nice.

I’m trying to erase you.

So that when someone brings you up again

My heart keeps beating.

Especially when we are sitting there

And you seem so comfortable

With me.

Maybe that’s just how you are

And I’m nothing special

But I keep thinking

That your smile means something