heaven is an indignant girl

One setting, moment, person seemed to blend into the next, all except him. His toothy grin, his eccentric blonde haircut, his witty humor paired with his hidden tender-heartedness, though once you found it, it was never lost on you again. He was your leader for a reason. Behind all those eye rolls and smartass comments muttered under his breath, he was intensely good-natured, protective, and cared too much. You sought him out for safety and comfort, so much so now that you ended up in his lap, taking him in and out of you with his guidance.

His hands were warm on your hips, and his voice crisp in your ear. "Thaaat's it. Just like that, darlin.' Good girl. Ride my cock sooo good."

"Shinji!" You gasped at his praise and his dirty talk, spasming around him, cheeks heating.

Everything was too warm, too wet, and yet somehow still not enough. He was right here, yet not close enough. You kissed him, fear blossoming in your chest, your drool mixing with his, an emptiness starting to take hold, the cold metallic taste and feel of his piercing just as bittersweet as the emotions flurrying inside your heart.

You had a bad habit of being so afraid of the future, that you missed out on the present. Willing away the moment with worry, your heart became alarmed and you

opened your eyes, alone in bed.

I just had sex with Shinji Hirako, was your first thought upon waking. Shinji fucking Hirako. Though you hadn't really.

It seemed so real. You swore you felt him, warm, wet, and inside of you, spreading you apart. And you heard his voice, his equal parts irritating and alluring voice, his laugh, his groans...

Holy shit.

You jolted upwards, wiping the sweat from your forehead, still processing, or at least trying to, the fact that you dreamt of fucking your de-facto leader, former Captain of the fifth, Shinji Hirako. You hadn't thought of him that way before, or perhaps this wet dream brought to light that you had and simply chose to remain ignorant to it. So many opposing thoughts and feelings clashed inside of you, making you pull the covers up higher and clench your thighs together, ashamed that your mind had conjured up something so filthy about him of all people.

You'd known Shinji since your days back in the Seireitei, and you were sure, all this time, that you knew how you felt about him. He was always above you, the Captain, and now your unofficial leader of the Visoreds. He was also a dork. Goofy, flippant, and mostly obnoxious, he definitely knew how to get under your's and mostly everyone's skin. But for all of his silly and immature antics, he knew his shit and knew when to get serious, and for that you respected him. He could be annoying, but you trusted and relied on him. You admired him, sure, but you didn't like him.

Or so you thought.

It was incredible, how one, possibly meaningless, dream had you questioning everything. You thought of a time he made you laugh recently, how you noticed whenever he made a joke he looked around to see who would laugh, how his eyes always seemed to land on you, how once he made you laugh, he tried to do it again, and again, and he usually succeeded, because you thought mostly everything he said was funny, and how Hiyori would scold you, "don't encourage that dumbass!" or Kensei would roll his eyes at you, "it wasn't that funny..."

You squealed aloud, burying your burning face in your hands. Shit! I do like that idiot!

And now what am I going to do?

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Flustered and conflicted, you didn't let that stop you from starting your day the same. You rose from your bed, splashed some cold water on your sweaty, sticky skin and trudged on. There was more to worry about than such trivial feelings.

At least, that was the plan, much easier said than done. It worked well enough until you found yourself alone in the kitchen with him of all people.

Your back turned as you grabbed a glass to fill with water, you recognized that voice and that stupid, sexy accent as he greeted, "Mornin'."

You twitched, reluctantly looking his way to squeak a "good morning," in return before stiffly turning your back to him again, eyes widening at the wall.

The sight of him, his normally perfect hair slightly disheveled from sleep, draped in loose pjs, languidly strolling around, along with the dream version of him, fresh in your mind, plunging into you, calling you his good girl, had your plan coming to a screeching halt. You squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head, as if that could shake away the impure thoughts and images invading your mind. It seemed the harder you tried to rid yourself of them, the more intensely they flooded in, bringing heat to your skin and core, weakening your knees and knocking the wind from your chest.

So buried in your thoughts, you hadn't noticed the water trickling over the edge of your glass, overflowing, luckily, into the sink. You gasped and switched the faucet off, drawing the blonde's attention from the other side of the room.

Shinji came up beside you, chuckling quietly as he observed your clumsy accident, oblivious to your inner turmoil. "Looks like someone's still sleepin'," he teased with a smirk before reaching for a towel. "Here."

You stiffened, taking it from him while choking out a small, "thank you."

Looks like someone's still sleepin'. You shuddered. You have no idea. In a way, you were still asleep, dripping and lusting after him. You swallowed down the noises that were threatening to bubble up your throat, making an effort to avoid another wet mess, no matter where it came from.

Shinji narrowed his observant eyes at you, "Ya feelin' alright? Yer lookin' pretty flushed."

He attempted to reach for your forehead, thoughtfully checking for a fever on your skin, but fearing what he could unleash from the simple contact, you flinched away, spilling more water. "I'm fine!"

He raised an accusing eyebrow. "Ya don't seem fine..."

You ignored him, "I'll get it!" You hurried to clean up your second mess before running away, preventing a third.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The rest of the day followed in similar fashion. You ran from Shinji, who seemed especially unavoidable that day, in hopes that he wouldn't notice how you short-circuited, how you stammered and tripped and blushed whenever he neared.

When it came to training, and he conveniently suggested the two of you partner up during a particular drill, you suggested otherwise. "Actually, I think I'll partner with Hiyori."

"Huh?" His eyes widened in disbelief. "Who would want that?!"

Of course, that only earned him a sandal to the face. "Hey! Maybe she just doesn't want to have to put up with you for a change, Baldy!"

Then, when it came lunch time, and it wasn't your turn to make it for everyone, most of the group seemed surprised to find you volunteering to help Mashiro fetch takeout, offering some lousy excuse about worrying that she'll screw something up. You felt Shinji's eyes on you then, watching you go, oblivious to his concerned gaze.

It seemed the final straw was when you ended up alone with him again that evening, and he attempted to crack a joke to ease the obvious tension that had transpired between the two of you all of a sudden. You hardly laughed, forcing an unnatural smile out of pity. And you always laughed, genuinely, at his jokes. When you were on your way out again, this time, he caught your wrist, stopping you before you could escape. You tensed, eyeing the spot where his warm hand curled around you, lighting your body on fire as you remembered his warm hands on your hips, guiding your movements.

He quickly snatched his hand back, opting to scratch the back of his neck. "Did I do somethin'?" He asked warily. "Kinda feels like ya've been avoiding me all day."

At his sheepish expression, your heart sank. You never intended to make him feel bothersome, but you hadn't wanted him to know the truth either.

"No!" You chirped a little too brightly, your first instinct to continue to deny, deny, deny. "You haven't done anything," you assured, flashing him a crooked smile.

He frowned, physically deflating before forcing himself into a neutral state, throwing his walls up if you were going to keep up yours. "I hope I haven't made you uncomfortable somehow," he stated. "Anyways, I'll leave ya to it..."

You almost let him leave, watching him depart with a sense of relief. But you held a stronger sense of guilt watching him shrink away, his gaze cast down, thinking he'd done something wrong. It tugged on your heartstrings, hard. It was you who caught his wrist this time, stopping him from getting away. This couldn't go on for the rest of your long lives, and Shinji deserved better. He was good to you - always - it was no wonder he'd managed to invade your dreams. It was the least you could do to try to be good to him too.

When he turned back, raising his eyebrows hopefully at you, your flustered state returned. At a loss for words, not planning this far ahead, you thought again of the feeling between your legs this morning, of him like that.

You dropped his wrist and sighed, brows furrowing, twitching away those thoughts again. Focus.

"It's not you, it's me," you blurted.

Confused, Shinji raised an eyebrow. "Uhh...? Are we breakin' up? From a relationship I didn't know we were in?" He joked.

Exasperated, with him, yourself, and the entire, weird day, you sighed. "No. I - something happened, and it's just made me feel all confused and weird." You twiddled your thumbs, avoiding his penetrating, perceptive stare, those same eyes that haunted you in your sleep. "I'm trying to say - it isn't your fault. I'm sorry I've been acting so avoidant."

"Hm," Shinji hummed thoughtfully. "Do ya wanna talk about it or...?"

His innocent suggestion made you blush deeply. "I'm afraid you won't look at me the same."

You regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth, watching his eyes light up with curiosity. "Try me," he challenged, grinning devilishly.

Your eyes widened. Crazily enough, for a moment, you considered it.

"I can't," you decided, too fearful of the consequences.

"C'monnn," he whined. "I'm not gonna judge. Ya know me," he assured seriously.

In spite of yourself, you reconsidered it. Maybe getting it off of your chest was what you needed. Trying to ignore it certainly wasn't working, and it was Shinji after all. You did know him. Maybe together, the both of you could laugh it off and go back to normal.

But do I really even want that? Back to normal?

He continued to stare at you, waiting. He even started to tap his foot, grinning slightly when you glared at him.

"You're the worst," you grumbled, though it was obvious you thought quite the opposite. "You don't tell anyone what I'm about to say," you voiced sternly. "Understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," he chuckled. "I won't say a word. Now out with it."

You sighed again, resigning yourself to your fate. You had prolonged this for long enough.

"I had a dream about you last night."

Shinji narrowed his eyes at you. "That's it?" He scoffed. "That's what ya were so worried about? I dream about you, about everyone, all the time." He shrugged.

You groaned, covering your face. "You're really gonna make me say it...?"

"Say wha-" He caught himself, realizing before he could finish. "Oh. Oh."

You peeked at him through your hands, only to find that obnoxiously attractive smirk spreading on his dumb, pretty face. It had you squealing, shutting your fingers back up, blocking out the sight.

"Was I good?" He asked, gently prying your hand away from your face.

"It wasn't real!" You defended, sweating as you swatted him away. "It doesn't mean anything!"

"Yeah? Then what were ya so hot and bothered for - all day?" Shinji continued to tease, seeming to enjoy how riled up he got you.

"Anyone would be flustered!" You fretted. "How - how would you feel if you dreamt of me like that? Huh?!"

He kept his composure, stepping closer to speak more quietly. "Well, for the record, I don't think I'd mind makin' yer dreams come true."

You froze, eyes widening, wondering if you were dreaming again. His eyes followed your hand, pinching yourself, and he chuckled.

"This is the real deal," he confirmed. "If ya ever wanna discuss it in more detail, or try anything out, ya know where to find me, baby doll."

And with that, like the fucking tease he was, he left you, the ball in your court, up to you to make the next move.

To make your dreams come true.

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┆　┆ ࣪ ˖☆ ࣪⭑┆ ݁˖ .☆ . ݁ ˖

☆⊹ ࣪ ┆ ˖ ࣪　⊹ ࣪ ★ ⋆.˚ ⊹ ࣪

࣪ ˖⋆˚★ ₊ ⊹　 ࣪˖ ࣪ ₊ ࣪ ˖　

. ݁　⊹ ࣪ ˖　　　 ࣪ ˖

　　. ݁　　　 ݁

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If you're only dreamin'

Why I hear you screamin'? 😈