now you taste the warmth of summer

Save Your Heart (66k)

🏷 Alpha Harry, Omega Louis, Strangers to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Mating Bond, Fluff, Mature

Harry thinks Louis is crazy, but maybe a little sweet too.

And he thinks Louis reads way too many romance novels. Okay, maybe he's also a little cute.

He also thinks that Louis loves the wrong Alpha (because maybe Louis belongs to him, just maybe).

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Jab We Met AU with a pinch of A Walk in the Clouds scenes

Spotify | Apple Music | Visual

I hope your 22nd day of December was great and that you could do everything you wanted. What are you doing December 23rd? I’m currently staying in the mountains, so I hope I get to enjoy it despite having to study. Are you already done with your gift for your secret baby? I’m personally not done with yours and entirely too stressed about it cause it’s really my own fault. I should have started it earlier so I’d give myself time to be a proper perfectionist. Either way, I’m sure your gift is perfect–I have no doubt your secret baby will know you poured your heart into it. I personally originally wanted to make a gift both for you and my secret santa but I’m already running out of time for yours, so let’s try to focus on that. And I really hope you like what I’ve made for you too, cause I’ve made it with you in mind.

To answer your question, I don’t think this is the flu–just a cold that won’t go away. I’m pretty sure I’m almost done with it so thank you universe for showing mercy. I wish I could I could tell you my coping mechanisms but I’m not sure I have one–I’m just downright unsufferable til I get better. I would say I usually get sick at least once during winter time, but it’s usually a common cold, so nothing to complain about. I’ve been a weakling this year though, because I’ve already been ill quite a few times since August. And what happened to your sinus for them to get blocked in such a way? That must really suck! I’m sorry for you. Do you get sick often? I’m realizing it might have been super inconsiderate of me to complain in such a way when this is a minor inconvenience and I don’t know how healthy you are. I’m sorry!

I don’t remember mentioning snow in my previous message dsdlsqkk but I can explain how it works here either way. Maybe it will give your one more clue (or not?) about my identity but hey, it’s December 22nd and I’m too tired to lie dsk3qdhjs so! In my country, some parts get snow quite often while others don’t. I live an area that doesn’t get snow, or once a year at best and it doesn’t stick. But further away, it does snow. Because of climate change, temperatures are all over the place though, so it’s difficult to predict when and for how long it will snow. When you know who I am, I might send you pics of the snow I’ve taken in the past year of you want!

I think popcorns are still fun, once in a while. They still hurt my wallet when directly bought at the cinema though. Have you seen Avatar? My friends went to see it the other day and I didn’t because I can’t even remember the first one; they found it predicable though very beautiful. Is it the kind of movie you like to see or?

I don’t know if I’m a dedicated student or just a very stressed one haha! Tbh, I think I’m pretty flexible in my relationships in my life, but being late has always stressed me out a lot. What about you, what kind of student or you? The procrastinator/cram-worker? The perfectionist? Both? I have about 18 to 20 hours of classes a week at the moment (I’ll have more next semester, I think) and it doesn’t feel like that much because I used to have a lot more. And a class usually lasts 50 minutes! What about you? I’m actually very curious about this because it is very interesting to compare school systems across the worth to find where the strengths and weaknesses of each of them lie. And I’ve lived in another continent before, so in that aspect I’m very lucky.

Now that you’ve mentioned HP, I feel like I have to ask–who are you favourite characters, and what do you think is Louis’ house? It is a question of an upmost important so please take your time to answer.

What you said about English and it being a first language made complete sense, I’m just not the sharpest tool in the shed dsqkldjlksq it’s just that not many people around here would say it’s their first language so I didn’t understand you meant it like that. Was clear though, I just deformed your words. Anyways. Dsqqjdlk. I feel like I’m speaking to a smartie, hm? Level 3 sounds like something but I’m not actually sure. Either way, it’s super cool that you invested yourself in learning a new language. I think it’s important to have this kind of curiosity at first, even though it’s tough to train on the daily. Nice try, though, I won’t tell you the language I speak today :p

I think your perception of relationships is really interesting! I like how you envision things. It makes me question my own habits and beliefs. I hope you find people along the way who share the same philosophy as you! And you answered the question perfectly, no worries. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!

I guess it is? Some people go to the mass on Christmas, so I guess they do celebrate the birth of Jesus? I’m literally the worst person ever to answer this question but even though many occidental countries celebrate ist because of capitalism it has the world “christ” in it. Even though the origin of the celebration, is disputed there must be some religious part to it. I think that’s very cute it was a celebration meant to celebrate snow. Makes me think of winter fairy!zayn in your fic :) and I think you’re wrong, you can avoid big gatherings! I personally “celebrate” Christmas only with my parents and siblings. It is probably because we do not associate it with something holy, though. My family is also part of the few who think you shouldn’t force yourself to see people. Some years, we see our relatives more than others and that’s the way things are. We love each other, but we do not necessarily have a super close bond with them. I feel much closer to my parents and siblings than I ever will to my cousins (like most people) but I don’t miss the relationship I could have had with them. I’m happy when I see them but I don’t do things differently just because they’re my family. This makes me think, do you think you should always forgive people, especially your family? I know that in Christianity, forgiveness is a very important part of your faith, so maybe it touches aspects of your own faith and you don’t have to answer this question. I was just wondering because one of my friends has a very tough relationship with her family and everyone keeps telling her she should forgive them when I’m not quite sure I agree with that. She’s not burning with anger or sorrow or anything like that, if you’re wondering. So for example, do you think you should forgive people, because “they’re still your parents”? I don’t know if I should be asking all these questions when I know they’re very polarizing but I feel comfy with you so you get an insight of my thoughts at the moment. Please, don’t feel like you have to answer though!

Ahahaha it does happen sometimes because we all have different tastes in music but my siblings and I grew up listening to some tunes my mum loves so it kinda got ingrained into our brain to sing it in the car haha

What you say makes a lot of sense! I think UK promo is often Louis paying a tribute to his English fans and his country in general whereas US promo looks a lot more like a promo. I think for that reason US promo is more likely to make his career move in a certain direction. So yeah, I do agree with you, though I love have convenient it is when we get UK promo cause there is no or little to no timezone problems. At least, now I know that it’s more convenient for you when he does US promo so instead of grumbling I’ll think of you <3

I also NEED to day I love the way you talk about Louis!! Wanna kiss you too all over <3<3

I don’t really know about a perfect pair slkdjkqls I think they clash a lot. They’re definitely more a pair of opposite; my dad being a lot more laid back than my mum who stresses over any and every think. I think I get along with both of them in different ways so I’m very lucky.

Arrrrgh, I think I’ve only written about myself in this one letter and for this, I’m sorry. I just always want to answer everything and give unnecessary details or digress. I hope it still wasn’t too boring to read and that I get to finish your gift on time for… well, next time. I’m sending you so, so much love and kisses. Thank you for making me smile and giving me an insight of your beautiful, beautiful thought process. You’re the comfiest person to talk to! I hope you feel as listened to as I do.

Love, kisses, hugs, and head pats, xx

hi secret santa! i intentionally waited until today to answer you so you won’t have to send anything else as i do the closure for us (for this secret santa thingy!!) damn i feel horrible and your behalf… you went through a LOT. is your nose still stuffed? by the way seems like we have the same period cycle, our love is so strong. and ngl, accidentally deleting the stuff you’ve been working on is one of the most unfair unlucky things that could ever happen to someone and i’m sorry you fell as the victim. and the way you still decided to re-write the whole thing when you could’ve just let me know about what happened… you’re literally the best secret santa ever. i’m sure your deleted answer was a perfection, i still appreciate her as much as i do with this one!

my day have been great from 22nd until today despite having to work everyday, even on the christmas :( you’re on top of the mountain! it must be so pretty over there 🥺 i hope the atmosphere up there made your studying much easier and less stressful. i’m done with the gift btw, can’t wait to show them later. please, i’m not sure whether you’ve done with it or not by now, but if you haven’t, you don’t have to worry about rushing to finish it. you can even gift me on another day, it doesn’t have to be today! we make the rules, remember? :) and i WILL love it, whatever you’re doing for me. i love gifts, no matter what it is. it’s always the thoughts that count! and i know that you’re putting so much efforts into it so it makes it more special. i want to ask you a lot of questions honestly… but you won’t get to reply me anymore, at least not here. so if i accidentally slip in some questions just ignore.

a cold that won’t go away… i’m glad that it’s surrendering. you deserve to have a good time in a healthy condition before your papers! i myself have a cold intolerance, or whatever you call it. i can’t even work in an air conditioned place without ending up getting a flu, so i can’t imagine being in your place. it’s also one of the reasons why i get my sinusitis often, especially during a rainy night. vicks inhaler is a compulsory on my beside table. my body is just built that way ig </3 please acknowledging the capability of your body is never inconsiderate! and it’s certainly not simply a minor inconvenience when it clearly impacts your body and comfort!

i might’ve confused your and my santa babie’s descriptions, my bad! some of the things we discussed about are quite the same as our topics and my brain is tiny 😞 also, this is actually a new information for me! call me stupid or ignorant for this but i’ve never thought of the fall of snow to be that way. i thought all places in europe receive almost the same amount of snow and the thickness only varies just by a few inches. my already dumb little brain has been deceived by the media portrayals. and PLEASE, show me the snow pics 🥹 tbh i’ve only seen it on the tv or pictures posted by random people on twitter/instagram so if u wanna send some later i’ll be honoured to see them :’)

yes popcorn has its fun side, i honestly enjoy it more during mindless eating rather than watching movie. and no, i… haven’t seen avatar and probably will take me some more years to see it? sgdfjkf embarrassingly admitting i’ve never watched any avatars films before </3 and tbh i’m not really big on that kind of movie or marvels.

it’s amazing to have a student like you in any uni, i like your thinking. tbh i can work under stress to get the job done but i always try to complete things a little earlier than the due date. maybe a day earlier? because then if anything i’ll at least have time to do any correction if i have to. but also not to early to avoid any misunderstanding on the instructions that’ll make me waste my energy and time doing something incorrectly. 20 hours per week :o i think we’re quite the same! it honestly depends in the lecturers too, some tend to ALWAYS cancel the class last minute and assign us tutorials so i don’t really consider those hours as classes. and i also think the same, especially the elementary school system because that’s where the major differences lie. tbh i don’t quite like my country’s education system especially the primary schools, there’s just so many weaknesses that would take me a 10 paragraphs essay if i were to complain.

oh my hp questions… would you cancel me if i said louis is a slytherin? it has sth to do with him being a little too spiritual ever sincd fitf. but also for so long i used to think he was hufflepuff! and i will cry draco my loml is my fav! my baby was WRONGED.

i am definitely not a smartie if french people heard me utter a word in their language my mouth’d be stuffed with bread and kicked on the butt into the sea </3 i look so stupid speaking french.

i see, thank u for clarifying it! it amazes me to see there is variety of celebrations for christmas being done in each family. sdfjfk winter fairy zayn might just be a tiny part of my little self’s misunderstanding of the snow and christmas thingy :3 your parents are so realllll for that, i mean to have a day meant to be joyous for yourself shouldn’t include seeing just everyone. there are more things to enjoy if we look for something that appeases our own happiness. to answer your question, definitely no! i’m not gonna lie to myself and say that i won’t forget what people did to me because truly, i’m not easy to forget AND forgive </3 and if it’s my family especially, it will go straight to my core memory. of course im still gonna treat them nicely but unless they really make up and apologise sincerely, i… hold grudges secretly. ik this sounds toxic and not very “forgiving and considerate first daughter” of me but i grew up thinking that my family was perfect and it’d be so wrong to assume the bad in them, but now that i’m older i’ve learned that even if someone is your family, doesn’t mean they’re perfect is actually more accurate than the vice versa. and about your friend, i honestly do feel her though… i myself don’t feel comfortable sharing my family problems with my friends because most of them probably have a good relationship with theirs and they’d say the same thing too because they’re not in our place, and everyone who is unaffected is always the quickest to “reassure” us with “the right thing” to do. it kinda feels invalidating actually because sdgfjf you’re MY friend not my family’s. but luckily i have one friend that goes through almost the same things as i did whenever it comes to family problems and we always confide in each other about our “first daughter” problems. i’m glad for your friend because she at least has you to understand her, but i wish other people around her wouldn’t be so tapering towards her issues :(

i agree! UK louis content could be cute sometimes when you think how loyal he is to the country. the idea of him performing somewhere he loves is just so cute ♡

please our parents are almost the same. my dad is literally the epitome of “actions speak louder than words”, my mom has it equal for both. that’s good for you! it’s like you’re flexible to switch your actions to accommodate different people.

please why are you even apologising, i loveree knowing random facts about you. you are such an interesting person to get to know to while you still remain anonymous to me. i love you i love talking to you so much. i’m gonna do the honour of saying goodbye to our secret santa session here so, bye my sweetest anon!

I’m still sick but a lot better. I probably had a fever last night cause my forehead felt super warm, but I felt incredibly cold. I’m glad I woke up today without feeling like my hands would fall off with how cold I was! Honestly can’t wait to have two functioning nostrils dklsdql and speaking about going to the cinema, I was supposed to go see a movie tonight, but I feel too tired to do so. Having a cold sucks! But no, I usually don’t eat food at the cinema. It has happened I’ve bought popcorn, but it really doesn’t happen often because I thin it’s too expensive for what it usually is. And the feeling of having popcorn stuck in your teeth is the absolute worst, too, idk how I managed to forget it every time. What about you? Homemade snacks like the housewife you are or victim of capitalism? Fond of popcorn? I don’t know how shameful it is to admit, but I’ve actually never seen legally Blond dkjsqhd. When I was 10, I bought the books at a flea market but ended up never reading them because the covers were ugly in my opinion. I know that’s the pettiest reason ever but ten years old me was something else! It’s funny you mentioned HP, as one of my siblings is watching HP at the moment. I think he’s watching the 6th one, though. My favourite one is probably the 3rd one and least favourite one the 4th. Once again, it’s not linked to the quality of the movie but more to the fact that the sibling aforementioned would watch the Goblet of fire every day at some point. Kinda traumatized me. Plus, the only girl sucks at being a witch and the movie makes it seem like the girls of her school are only good at being pretty.

My uni is about 45 minutes away door to door–I have a 10/15 minute walk to the station then a 25 minute ride with the tube and another 5 minute walk to get to uni. Compared to most people in my area, that’s very reasonable. Around here, I think the average time is 45 minutes to an hour so anything around that is considered normal. I’d also say that despite a lot of people complaining about the deficiencies of the public transportations, it works quite well–I’m once again only speaking about my area, as experiences vary from suburbs to suburbs. I think there are enough underground trains too that I usually don’t have to worry about missing one. I just go to the station and if I miss one by a minute then there’ll be another one. I’m always early anyways kdslkqdlsm I think taking the tube is not quite the same as taking a plane! I am 4548646456% more stressed for a long journey than I am when I take the tube. Where have you flown to before?

I can’t believe I’ve given you another clue. At the same time, I thought you already KNEW English wasn’t my first language as I’ve mentioned l live in Europe and in Europe, very few countries have English as their official language (besides the UK and Ireland, I mean). And I also felt like I already had implied I didn’t live there when we discussed the English countryside. BUT anyways I feel like I’m speaking too much and shouldn’t remind you everything I’ve said. And I’ve listened to a video to learn how to speal easy malay and can only say nama saya secret santa <3 saya dari a secret country <3

That’s interesting! Are you planning to get married, someday? I think I’m quite lucky because I don’t feel pressure to marry–not that I don’t want to, I’m just not quite set on that. And it’s not entirely linked to the question before but to you, what’s the ultimate proof of love? And I can definitely relate! I’m always scared I’ll accidentally like one of your posts.

I do celebrate Christmas, though it’s pretty lowkey and entirely unreligious. We exchange gifts, have a nice but not too long meal, and then we’re done before midnight dskqdjsq it’s nice, though as I don’t really like huge gatherings. Too many people makes it a little bit too impersonal for me. Do you? If not, what do you celebrate and if so, what’s your favourite thing about Christmas?

You’re such an older daughter! Trying to live up to expectations and all that jazz. And when I say I sing in the car, it’s just not me putting up a show it’s more like, everyone’s singing together to tunes we listen to as a family dslkdjsq I wouldn’t have the confidence to try and belt otherwise lol. I’m sure you sing really well!!

Maybe I’ll hate US promo a little less for the mere fact it brings you happiness dskdjs I usually don’t love it because it’s very… US like? I don’t know, it’s probably more of a feeling than a real thing. AND I KNOW!!! He’s just there, his face facing the crowd, and hands stroke and pet him gently :( he’s not even fazed! You mentioned how comfy he makes us feel but I feel like it is also true the other way around and that’s super cute :( I’m so deeply sorry you couldn’t see him. I was in a similar predicament for my own show and it took me a while to get used to the idea. Fingers crossed for FITF tour! I have a ticket for the show so I really hope everything goes according to plan for you and me both.

You want me to reveal myself by asking me my star sign, don’t you? I’m not giving it to you but to make it better, I’m gonna tell you I’m a daughter to a cancer father and a taurus mum. I don’t know what you can do with this info, but it’s out. By the way, do you get along with your parents? If it is an uncomfy matter to you, please feel free not to answer!

Sending you kisses and love <3<3<3<3 I still hope it won’t get you sick. It was once again a pleasure reading you :) love you babe and take care! xx

hello hello my santa ♡ hope you had an easier day compared to the previous! i have missed you! forgiving you with a sorry from me for being a day late. i was actually planning to write you back yesterday but then i was so caught up in finishing the gift for my santa baby too and eventually fell asleep while working on it :( i am both blushing and feeling guilty for basically being the reason to your stressful situation, i appreciate how you are trying your hardest and best to gift me when you didn’t even have to! talking to you have felt rewarding to me, you made my days more meaningful for the past few weeks and i cannot ever thank you enough for that. not to be sentimental but with you i feel… listened ♡ regardless of feeling guilty, i am stilll eager to find out what you’re giving me, i KNOW that i will love it and definitely will store it in my core memory!

i am partially happy that you’re feeling better but not entirely recovered! do you have any special coping mechanism to ease your painful state when you’re under the weather? i personally have to eat something spicy just to feel something when i get sick. speaking about nostrils, are you having a flu too? my nostrils get blocked almost every night, i haven’t been able to completely get rid of sinus since my preteen years :/ by the way, how long will it snow there, where you live? and do you often get sick during the cold december? oh no, what movie were you supposed to be seeing :o i completely agree with you about the popcorn part, honestly the first time i went to see a movie at the cinema i found that popcorns during movie was an overrated concept, but sometimes i still bought them because my friends always insisted us to. but most of the times i’d sneak in pretzels or chips from my favourite vendors outside of the cinema. more affordable and fits to my taste. and certainly never a homemade snack for cinema sdfgfj i’m not louis enough for that </3 just like how you were shamed to admit you’ve never watched legally blonde, i am also shameful to admit that i didn’t know it had a book. i think it’s safe to tell you that hp 4 is also my least favourite, it just feels less magical compared to the rest. and let’s not talk about harry’s characterisation being watered down :|

hearing about your routine is fascinating although i don’t how to feel about the 45 minutes journey to class everyday :o and you mentioning that you’re always early… wow. i complain for the stupid 7 minutes walk to my faculty/ or on some days i’d carpool with my friends, if my lecturers cancel the class last minute after i’m already in the class sdgfhd and i even stay in the campus. you are really a dedicate student! how long are your lectures daily on average? i’ve flown to the neighbouring countries before for holidays, have yet to escape asia </3 what about you?

shdjdf i know, i wasn’t meant to say that english is your first language as in you don’t speak another language beside it like the british! because there are some malay friends of mine who have been using full english from the day they were born and only use the malay language when it is necessary. and they claim that english is their first language! that’s what i meant to ask, if you’re one of those people, sorry that it was unclear </3 now I am speaking too much. waa that’s cute! and when you say that again but the ‘secret santa’ and ‘secret country’ are replaced with the actual names >:) i wonder what you first language is, i’ve reached duolingo’s level 3 in french before and maybe that’s the most i’ve learned in one of the many third languages i’ve attempted to learn before lmfao. anyway 3 more days and maybe i’ll find out if it’s french or something else that you speak :3

oh tbh we are the same! i don’t find marriage is something that should be my priority, not now and i don’t think that’s gonna change in the future too, but who knows :) when i talk about possible partner i always envision the idea of me being in a non serious relationship where me and the other person just do, discover and learn new stuff together as we grow. i’ve always liked the idea! though it might also has something to do with me living in a place where i’d be expected to marry only the men if i ever wanted to. and newsflash hanis prefers something else mwah <3 btw, i find your question is kinda hard to answer since i’ve never been in a situation where i love someone too hard (louis look away for awhile) or i am loved romantically. but i think time is quite the mastermind of everything, so i get pretty fond when i see old couples showing their affection towards each other. like imagine all the things you’ve gone though together, physical changed, too many ups and downs and you’re still tied together like the first day you confessed your love to each other?! like what more could you ask in order to believe that you are absolutely loved by your lover? sdgdh am i answering your question by the way?

enlighten me, as i don’t know much about the deeper meaning of christmas apart from what’s been shown in the media and public presentations, is christmas a religious celebration for some? i know this is stupid but i used to think that christmas is to celebrate the arrival of the snow, and it’s probably why christmas is not that big here because we don’t have snow… k1ll 10 year old me. i understand you! well as obvious as it is i don’t celebrate christmas, but i do celebrate the eid. and i guess any celebration can’t escape the huge gatherings :/ i’d sometimes lock myself in the room for awhile if the hosting tired me out. by the way despite not celebrating christmas, i do have a lot of things that i like about it, and one of them is the films <3 because all of them have snow scenes and i just love it sgdhdh, i need to roll on the snow someday. what’s your favourite part about christmas, if there’s not many people in your house?

that sounds like a lot of fun, singing together as a family! mine just be putting on our own headphones because we all have different taste in music.

it IS very US like but i think he does more fun things there? don’t get me wrong it will never be enough to me, he needs better better promo i need him to play more games on the real talk shows and not just singing and more youtube segments. but to me a lot of things he does during UK promo is quite UK fans-centered? i mean it’s great he does all that to get closer to the fans but still! tho i’m not complaining about the content we got from his fitf love performance and the album signings <3 as someone who is neither from the US not the UK i’ll take what i can get! yes, he never fails to mention how thankful he is for the fans, he never forgets! it’s like a mantra coming out out from his mouth to call the fans incredible eeee he’s too cute :( “thank you for letting me make the kind of music that i want to make” well thank YOU for making the kind of music that i want you to do and that i want to hear??? one day i’ll eat him i promise. omg you got a ticket? for the europe date i assume? you will meet him you will nothing’s coming in your way i am praying on both of my knees! so happy for you ♡

yah actually :3 but i failed dang! a taurus and a cancer, sounds like a perfect pair! would you say your parents share the same personality or more like a pair of opposite attract? i have a good relationship with my parents but i don’t think we are that affectionate compared to some families. they forgot my birthday this year but since we’re not always that big on birthdays it didn’t affect me that much. i personally get more validation from my dad, and not too often if not never from mum. she is quite strict with us, sometimes i feel like i have a mid mommy issue lol. but thank god my parents actually do co-exist, what i don’t get from my mum i’ll seek from my dad especially when it comes to compliments over something i achieved. but she can be generous on some days! do you get along with both of your parents?

You don’t know how glad I am that your uncle’s already back home. It’s also lovely to know that you had a nice time with your baby cousin anyways!

The question you just asked makes me realize I really don’t do much despite studying and reading fics. But I also like going to the movie theatre. I’m not really used to taking the initiative myself but one of my friends really love cinema, so she pushes me to go with her and it’s super nice. Do you have a favourite film? And I would say cleaning is definitely not something I like to do, I’m super messy so it takes me a lot of time to tidy and clean and it usually feels super overwhelming when there’s so much to be done. Especially, when I’m like… super lazy dsqdhkds

It's nice you have access to a daydream-green trail despite being so close to the city. Must be peaceful if you don’t cross a lot of people there. And yes, I’d rather die than drive. I take the tube pretty much everyday to go to uni but I take the bus as well, though not as often. Definitely no cab! I’m lucky enough to have access to public transports and to have a reasonable commuting time–for my area, at least, it is.

Kinda flattered you thought English was my first language! But I definitely won’t tell you my mother tongue because I fear it will give me away–or at least, give you a big fat clue since you already know I live in Europe. I’ve never heard Malay being spoken before so as soon as I’m done writing this, I’ll try to find recording online to hear how it sounds. When you say you speak English on campus, do you mean you do speak English because that’s your major or, are people teaching and talking in English either way?

I was talking about the difference in education between genders with my grandma the other day who’s like, quite a big militant despite being 86 years old. I was asking about her childhood, and she said that what she remembers is how unfair it was that her older (by a year, but still) brothers got to play outside while she had to do the dishes. It’s kind of crazy that after so many years that’s one of the things she remembers! I was also very surprised because she said that when she was pregnant, she was scared of having a girl. I was like??? Because she fights sexism and misogyny amongst other things, and then, she explained that she was simply scared she’d transmit discriminatory codes to a daughter whereas she thought she could change more by having boys who she could taught to not be assholes. It’s contradictory but at the same time, I understand what she’s saying. So many sexist codes are transmitted by our own mothers, after all (not that she was right for not wanting girls, but you get me).

I’m sorry for breaking you heart by admitting there might have been silly white lies in these messages, but I didn’t want you to find me out not even halfway through December! And I feel even less guilty for doing it when it feels like you’re a quite decent detective if you found your last secret Santa so easily. What about your secret baby? Have they found out who you are?

It gets a little bit hard to understand these messages at time because sometimes I don’t remember what I said in the past dsqjdsl Count on me to have the memory of a goldfish. But yeah, I’ll definitely tell you in the future if I take it up again. For now, I’m gonna let the idea grow in my brain.

Cannot wait to receive all you recs!

It’s lovely to know you’ve picked up the habit of listening to whole albums because you’re anticipating things could happen like they do in a fic dksqjdsql I don’t think your partner would resent you for not having listened to the whole album though, and if they wanted you to listen to everything maybe they’d listen to it with you! And no, I’ve never been to a karaoke, I never had the opportunity to and I’m not sure it would be a great idea as I sing really off tune dqskkdhsq I enjoy it, but it doesn’t by mean I’m good at it by any means. I do enjoy singing in the car though, especially during long journeys when my parents put on songs we used to listen to when we were kids and travelling. Maybe if I practiced more, I’d be decent at it, but I have my doubts! What’s your go to song to sing, since you think we all have some?

Have you watched the footage we got from Louis? The shows he did in the UK seemed amazing. His voice, his face, his energy–beyond this world. Not very mindful of his arm he was, but are we surprised? And the way the fans tried to be gentle by petting him… that one video of that person stroking his cheek… And all the pics with all the pride flags waving in the aid and the rainbow lighting. I WANT TO D-WORD WITH HOW BEAUTIFUL EVERYTHING WAS. Anyways.

I did not lie, Louis is the only one I actively stan. He has my whole heart! And I really don’t know why, maybe it was just a vibe I got but I’m glad to know I was wrong but not wrong, wrong. You know.

I definitely agree with you! I’d say I don’t believe in astrology, but I know a little bit about it and I love how fun it can get. Like I know it says everything and it’s contrary, but it is deeply entertaining. And it can be a fun way to connect to people, occasionally. And no worries, I won’t give up on you after this ends–you’re never getting rid of me. At the same time, I’m afraid it wont be the same as writing long ass letters.

I think I’m ending this one here, by wishing you the best for the upcoming days. Take care bubba! Sending you loads of love, xx

I just need to add my heart literally stops beating when I send these messages because I’m always scared I’ll forget to turn on anonymous asks slqdhsq

hi my very dearly missed santa! sorry that it took me 2 days to properly get back to you i just haven’t been my best self </3 but i do hope you’re going through an easy phase while surviving through the cold and your final weeks of the semester, did you do something to give yourself a break from it?

going to the cinema is definitely a fun thing to do so i don’t blame her! do you often bring your own food or get the ones that are served by the cinema? i love films, be it at the cinema or at home so to think of a favourite is really hard! but i’d do anything to watch legally blonde and hp, especially the sorcerer’s stone! i could watch them everyday and i’d still feel like when i first watched them back in 2010-ish. what’s yours? sdfghj idk when it started i used to be the laziest in the family but lately something housewife-y has been ingrained in me ig. plus it makes me feel like i’m capable of doing something? lmao

is your uni located far from where you live? and do you always have *easy* access to those transportations? have you ever missed either the bus or the tube on your way to uni? im sorry for the questions but these are exactly the scenarios that are always playing in my head when i come across people who use public transport’s everyday, i’ve only ever secured the train/ flight tickets at least 2 weeks prior to my travel just in case!

i really thought that english was your first language! the way you… are actually giving me another clue because i know some blouies’ first languages but i’ll wait i’ll wait i promise :3 i love the malay language when it’s being spoken! and people that are close to me mostly are english majors too so we just ise english most of the time there!

i totally get her! being in her age too, it must’ve been one of the biggest impacts in her life. she must want a better future for her grandchildren especially the girls. it’s what my grandma told me too, she would even support us (the girls) if we’d chosen not to get married because she somehow had quite a difficult process at the beginning of her marriage. mostly because of how drastic her status as the village’s head daughter changed into ‘someone’s wife’ with 8 children.

sdfghj it’s okay although the curiosity in me is never getting down, i can definitely try to be patient for one more week! by the way, do you celebrate christmas? and my santa baby definitely hasn’t got a clue i think, we aren’t even mutuals but we have so much things in common. it’s dangerous but i’ll try not to accidentally like/rt their tweets if they happen to stumble on my tl.

i know… but idk i always have this self-perception that people are always expecting the most in me, hence why i HAVE to know the whole album? it’s the first daughter in me ig </3 omgsgjdj not trying to make you feel better but honestly most people who go to karaoke can’t sing, i promise. they only do it for fun. but heyyyy singing in front of parents… wow something that i haven’t done in my entire life? i always think i don’t completely sound like a slap beggar when i sing back to december, otb, fearless, my tears ricochet, love yourself (jb), jealousy jealousy, photograph, and recently i found that i love singing to you’re on your own kid!

I DID. they’ve been my breakfast all morning this week, uk time zones are just not it for me so louis always performs between 3-5am if he’s in the uk :( (hence, us promo >>>>>:) that stroking cheek video!!! i’ve been repeating it even until now, literally just watched it twice before answering you… i should be jealous but also, it’s how he should be treated! gently! softly! delicately! like a princess coming down from his stage to be closer to his people! the rainbow flags projects have always been amazing at his shows :’) like can you just imagine how comfy he makes us feel? have you been to any louis show? and will you, for this fitf tour? you don’t have to answer if this will probably give you away! i have never :( was this 🤏 close to see him in jakarta but then uni schedule… i don’t even want to think about it anymore. hope he’ll do singapore at least for fitf tour! the only reason i’m taking a part time job this semester break when i’m supposed to be resting after 3 months of internship is because i’m saving money for his tour actually, he won’t do malaysia ik so i have to get ready for the abroad travel :’) but i missed it once i won’t miss it again >:(

god i swear i’m keeping you! there’s no one i love more than a louis, LOUIS, louis this louis that, LOUIS enthusiast, lover, caretaker. (after louis ofc <3) sdfgfj yesh you’re definitely not wrong, wrong. i had my kpop phase when i was 14 i do enjoy the old kpop songs.

mhm! i would ask you about your sign but that would definitely help me to either cross out or double line my new ss suspect. so burning that for now!

again you can take one day, two days, three days, to reply back! you can also take four or more but then i’m afraid i will be selfishly missing you when i had taken so long to get back to you </3 sdfgh i’m truly sorry for that!

be sure to turn of— i mean ON your anon ask, my curious cat ghost loves to linger in your air probably, i’ll put her on a leash later! for now mwah, kisses and hugs for you, wishing you a smooth day full of colours!