do you carry the world?

        Louis always thought he’d felt pain, really bad pain, all the time in the past. But no beating from his father or insult had ever felt quite as awful as this -- this feeling of being helpless, useless even. Seeing Uriah so hurt and being unable to do anything about it was driving him insane. In a way, he was even relieved that the other decided to join him in bed, and curled into his side. Louis was quick to wrap his arms around Uriah, pulling him closer, as if that way he could protect the other from all the pain inside of him. “I know,” he whispered quietly. Louis had never lost anyone to death in his own family, but he’d seen plenty of people die at the hospital, and when his mother left, it had come pretty close -- he figured he had some idea of what Uriah was going through, and he wished he could take over some of the burden for him. His lips pressed against Uriah’s forehead in a gentle kiss, then a sigh escaped his lips. “I wish I could do anything to make it better.”

       “Makes sense,” he admitted with a small nod, a smile ghosting his features. “I need them to get to work without my hands freezing off,” he added playfully, his hands now shoved into the pockets of his jacket. “Louis.”

     Louis eyes followed her gesture towards the dog on the ground, a smile immediately blooming on his lips. He’d always wanted a pet, but his dad never let him have one, and nowadays he knew he was too busy at the hospital to be able to give a dog the attention it deserved. “Can’t blame you for that. Cute dogs are definitely a good excuse,” he agreed with a soft chuckle. He hadn’t really expected anything in return, or a further conversation, so when she started talking he was a bit stunned. “Uh... okay,” he eventually managed to get in, another laugh falling from his lips. “You really don’t have to. But I just drink normal milk, or whatever I can get my hands on. I’m not too picky.”

        “It really does,” Louis confirmed with a smile, hands pushing into the pockets of his jacket. “Maybe she even got some matching gloves and a beanie for you, then you’d be ready for the winter.”

        Louis looked up when the woman next to him spoke up, spotting the scarf she had wrapped around her neck. A smile formed on his lips at the sight. He loved flea markets, and the way you could have fun just wandering around them -- it didn’t matter whether you bought something or not. “I think it looks amazing on you. Makes your eyes pop,” he grinned, giving her a thumbs up. “You should get it.”

       When the door to the bedroom opened quietly, Louis hadn’t really been asleep. He’d tried to drift off for hours, but it was hard when he knew Uriah wasn’t by his side, and trying to find comfort in the television program rather than his arms. “Can’t sleep,” he mumbled, trying not to let it show just how worried he was about his roommate. “Come here,” he added softly, pulling back the blanket and patting the space beside him.

        The coffee at the hospital was far from good, so whenever Louis managed to get a proper break into his shift, he made sure to go to one of the coffee shops nearby to get a coffee instead. He was tired, running on almost no sleep, and therefore his reaction skills were considerably slower than usual. That was probably also the reason why he bumped into someone after making only two steps into the coffee shop. “Shit, sorry,” he said quickly, a smile blooming on his lips as he took a step back. “I’m alright, don’t worry. I just wasn’t really looking where I was going,” he added with a smile. “You okay there?”

       “Thanks for the tip. I’ll see if I can steal one from one of the other nurses.” It wasn’t really that bad, but it had been some time since a child last managed to squeeze his hand this hard. It was part of the job though, and he figured it was still better than having your hand crushed by a woman in labor -- he’d heard horror stories about that as well. “Shit, sounds awful.” Though being understaffed was nothing new in a hospital -- Louis stopped counting how many extra shifts he took on because of it forever ago. “Well, so far no kids are dying, so that makes it a good day. I don’t want to complain. But there is one who keeps blasting Justin Bieber so loud I want to steal her phone when she’s sleeping.”

       “Well, I like kids, but I’m still not sure if I get them. And it really depends on the kid -- it’s the same as with adults. Some of them you get along with, some you don’t.” Of course, Louis tried his hardest to get along with all of them, and also make all of them like him. It was his job to make them feel better after all, and he had to say that there were only very few patients he really had trouble connecting with. “I don’t know. I still want kids some day.” Though at time Louis worried if he’d ever be able to make a good dad, considering how his own dad treated him. He wanted to think he’d be better at it though. Looking over at Kennedy, he couldn’t help but laugh. “I think she works as a surgical nurse. You know, helps the doctors out in the surgery rooms all day long.”

[ LOUIS ]: i need to ask you smth and i want you to be honest with me because i’m freaking out[ LOUIS ]: do you know if uriah has somebody else?

        “Sure. It’s a requirement to like the kids at your job, but there’s no requirement that says you also have to like kids outside of the hospital. So some of them aren’t really planning to have any,” he explained with a shrug of his shoulders. Louis loved kids, but when he started working at the children’s wing, no one bothered to ask if he ever wanted to be a dad -- it was not like that mattered as long as he treated the children well. Leaning forward to take a look at the photo, he nodded. “Oh yeah, that’s Jenny. She’s really cute. A little clumsy, but cute.”

      “Maybe you can still sell it to someone who’s desperate,” Louis pointed out, a grin on his lips. He figured there were plenty of people out there willing to pay for anything. Especially when it involved a romantic story -- anyone lived for those, right? “I don’t think you ever will,” he admitted, moving through the door of the place next to the bar they left behind. “I’m pretty sure if I haven’t gotten used to it after all this time, I never will.”

         Louis shook his head at Kennedy’s words, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back in his seat. “No, working in the labor rooms doesn’t necessarily mean they’re big on kids. Some of them fucking hate kids, or at least giving birth, because they see how awful that shit is every day.” Louis shuddered slightly, a bit relieved that he didn’t have to do that at any point in his life, no matter how much he loved kids. “Well, she’s nice, but she probably can be a bit of a motherly type. Any of the others appeal to you then?”

       “I’m a fucking idiot,” Louis agreed with a sigh, sinking deeper into his seat. He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, shaking his head a little. Usually, Louis probably wouldn’t have minded going on a date with the woman, but lately he just wasn’t interested. “You’d do that?” The idea was harsh, he had to admit it, but if it got the message across -- why not? Then again, most of his colleagues in the children’s wing knew he was single. But maybe news didn’t travel fast enough to reach the radiology. “You think she’d still let me skip the line with my patients?”

       “What a beautiful love story,” he chuckled, shaking his head a little as they made their way out of the bar. “You could make a movie out of it, make it extra cheesy, then there’ll probably be people who like it,” he added teasingly, tilting his head to the side to get a look at Isaac. “Oh you don’t have to tell me that, it’s the only thing about the job I hate. But baby puke isn’t so bad, at least it’s just the milk coming back out.”