lost my eraser

time flies.

Summary: You've worked all night, doing a task for The Dreaming. Morpheus finds you at your desk at an ungodly hour.

Pairing: Dream of the Endless x Reader

Warnings: none

A/N: I will not be writing any huge spoilers; I have read the entire Sandman series from start to finish, but I will not give away anything that you don't already know (assuming you've seen Season 1).

It's a dark but peaceful night outside of Dream's castle. The sky is a very dark blue, starless but still lovely. The air about the Dreaming is a gentle breeze, and it's warm outside, as if summer is in full swing.

Morpheus is in a pleasant mood, it seems.

The castle itself, towering over everything else within the Dreaming, is a beautiful structure. The lights inside are a strong gold color, and they cut through the dark.

You've been in the Library of Dreams for a long while, working tirelessly on a task that Lucienne had given you. You're her apprentice — currently studying and remembering some of the titles in the Library.

A large, leather bound book sits open on your table. Next to you stand tall bookshelves, filled with countless books of numerous sizes and colors. You write in this book in front of you, filling out names of mortal authors from long ago and the books they never wrote.

G.K Chesterton.... A.A Milne.... Edgar Allan Poe... William Shakespeare...

"What're yeh doing still here?" asks a gruff voice behind you.

You turn around in your chair and see Merv Pumpkinhead, a sentient jack-o-lantern pumpkin dressed in scarecrow clothes, smoking a cigar. His eyes, for once, are not narrowed — instead, they are open in concern.

"Ah, hi, Merv," you say sleepily. "I'm... writing things down. Lucienne wanted me to study things."

"Yeah, uh, that was a couple hours ago," Merv says. He puffs at his cigar. "Maybe you should get some sleep, huh? Lucienne wouldn't want you to stay up so late. And neither would the Boss Man."

You smile at that. Morpheus.

"What do you think he's doing? Does he need sleep?"

"Who? Boss Man? I dunno, kid. I've never seen him sleep, if that helps your question. But I know you need sleep. That book will be there when you wake up tomorrow." Merv pauses, then continues, awkwardly, "Er, hopefully, it will. Sometimes things are... eaten... by whatever apparitions decide to wander the halls here, late at night..." Quickly, he perks up again. "But! I'm sure it'll be here when you get back here tomorrow morning?"

"It's alright, Merv," you mumble with a smile. "I'll go to bed. I just want to finish a couple more of these, try to rack my brain for any others I might've missed."

Merv sighs. "Alright, kiddo. Suit yourself. I'll leave you be. Just be sure to get some sleep, alright?"

"Alright," you grin. "G'night, Merv."

"Night." Merv takes his leave of you, the only evidence he was ever there is some cigar smoke still lingering in the library.

You turn back around and get back to work. All is silent in the Library, aside from the sound of your pen scratching the paper.

Christopher Marlowe... Jane Austen... J.R.R Tolkien... C.S Lewis...

Your eyes are glued to the paper, your mind racing. You're writing as fast as your mind can think, testing yourself with how many names you can remember.

Suddenly, your mind blanks. Your hand hovers over the paper, the pen in hand. You furrow your brow for a minute, your lips moving soundlessly in an attempt to go over each author you've written down.

You get to St. John the Divine of Patmos when the candle lights flicker all at once, dimming for a time and then coming back up to their full strength. Looking up, you hear another voice speak:

What are you doing here, at this hour?

Morpheus — Dream of the Endless — is standing beside you, looking down at your work, a hand on the chair you're sitting in. His voice is so soft, it doesn't startle you.

"I was... working."

Morpheus blinks. You're exhausted.

"Am I?" you say, trying to shrug off the tiredness that hangs on you. "What time is it?"

It's late, says Dream. Time has no meaning for him. Everyone else is asleep. Mervyn, Matthew, Cain and Abel... even poor Lucienne.

You think on this. If even Lucienne is asleep, it really is an ungodly hour...

What are you working on? Dream asks. What are you writing?

Wordlessly, you show the book to him. He reads over it, and his brow furrows.

You're awake... over this? Dream crouches down to and faces you, his starry eyes filled with worry. You poor thing. This is not needed. Did Lucienne ever check up on you?

"No," you say, truthfully. "But, I know why. She was too busy with the census. That's alright though, I don't mind being here. It's relaxing." You perk up. "But... Merv came to see me, just a few minutes ago."

The tiniest hint of a smile comes up over his face. Indeed? What did he say to you?

"That I should go to bed," you say.

And he was absolutely right. I think this can wait, don't you? Dream gestures with a perfectly manicured hand towards the huge leather book. Then, he lowers his hand and places it on your own.

I miss you, my love, he says gently, his voice now laced with longing. Come to bed.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Halloween Series: Goddesses of Magic & Death 💀✨

Bird Revue: Yellow-rumped warbler / chipe rabadilla amarilla (Setophaga coronata).

my masterpost | my studygram | ask me anything 

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[transcript under the cut]

Other advice posts that may be of interest:

All About Procrastination

How To Study When You Really Don’t Want To

Common Study Mistakes

7 Strategies to Improve Concentration

How to make your notes aesthetic

7 Ways to Power Up Your Notetaking 

How to not feel dumb in college? When i was in school, i thought i was pretty smart but then i entered college and it feels like everyone is smarter than me. This is affecting my daily life and studies too. What should I do? How do i start studying again?

Hello 👋🏻😊 That’s a common feeling and it’s understandable that you’d feel that way considering you’re struggling academically, and surrounded by smart people. Understandable, but in need of re-framing.

Firstly, the fact that you care about studying is a great sign. The fact that you’re seeking advice is also a great sign. I’m guessing you’re someone who values personal growth; that trait alone will take you further than almost any other.

Second, it’s important to remember that feelings are not facts. Just because you feel like your peers are smarter or more capable, it doesn’t mean you’re right. I think you need to do some reflecting and figure out why you feel dumb.

Try to poke holes in your theory:

In your class, is everyone there above your level academically, or are they just less shy than you about contributing to class discussion?

Has anyone ever commented negatively on your academic ability or intelligence?

Do you have a history of feeling dumb in other areas of your life, such as perceived social inadequacy?

Is your self-esteem low in general?

Were you ever bullied for anything, therefore expect to be attacked or ridiculed when you show “weakness?”

Do you come from a family that values academic achievement and their praise was your incentive, but now you aren’t being praised by the people around you?

Do you feel over-shadowed by a sibling? When siblings compete for the approval of a parent, it can greatly affect the self-worth of all siblings involved, because parental approval meant life or death when we were young — and that conditioning is hard to re-wire, if not impossible; our parent’s opinions will likely always matter.

Another way to phrase this question might be, “what makes me feel smart?”

The arena you play in makes a difference:

High school is generalized, college is specialized. You’re here with people who are passionate about the subject, and likely know a lot about it. In high school, you were with a bunch of people who A) most likely did not want to be there and therefore tried less, B) did not choose (most) of the classes they took, and C) may have been bad at those subjects because they didn’t care about them.

High school doesn’t do a very good job of preparing students for post-secondary. It’s possible you just haven’t yet developed the skills required to excel in post-secondary. You might still be in a learning curve.

Reasons why feeling less intelligent than others isn’t necessarily a bad thing:

Lack of knowledge implies opportunity. What you don’t know, is out there waiting for you to learn it. Not knowing can be an exciting place if you adopt a perspective that values growth, and is driven by curiosity rather than shame about not knowing.

It’s important to be surrounded by people who are smarter than you. If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re not learning as effectively as you could be. Learn to be thankful for the smart people around you; instead of seeing them as competition or as mirrors of your perceived inadequacy, see them as inspiration, and seek their feedback — having a second opinion always helps, especially when they’re knowledgeable in your field.

Your worth is independent of achievement, competency, or status. Start to re-wire your perception of worthiness in general and this academic perception will follow suit.

I suggest you find a new word for how you’re feeling.

See, dumb is subjective. It’s inaccurate, because it doesn’t represent anything tangible. What is dumb? And by whose metric is “dumb” measured? Not only that — “dumb” is not constructive. If your goal is to feel and/or be smarter, you can’t call yourself dumb. It doesn’t work that way. As Dr. Jordan Peterson says, “If you want to be strong, stop saying things that make you feel weak.”

Suggestions:

“I’m not the smartest person in the room (and that’s okay)”

“This person is better at x than I am”

“I don’t know as much about x as this person”

“I’m not an expert in this (yet)”

“I’m still learning”

“They were a beginner once too”

“If they can do/learn it, so can I”

How do I start studying again?

Just start. Set a timer for whatever amount of time you think you can tolerate. 5 minutes, 10, 15. More if you can, but make sure you start as low as you think you can handle. This is called exposure therapy. Right now, studying is probably a source of anxiety for you, or it causes you some sort of distress while you’re doing it. You’re feeling an aversion to studying, so there’s something about it that your nervous system is trying to protect you from by avoiding it. This is why you need to get clear on why you’re averse, on why you feel inadequate, on why you’re struggling, because now you can make a game-plan. Start small, and build momentum on your small victories. This is how you regain your confidence.

Other tips:

Find a study buddy

Utilize study apps

Meditate before studying

Stay hydrated, fed, and well-rested

Take care of your mental health; rule out (and prevent) other issues that could be contributing to or causing this struggle; avoid burnout and be mindful of your mentality

Talk to a therapist

Talk to a loved one

Talk to a student advisor, professor’s assistant, or professor

Request a tutor if your school offers them, or hire one if you have the means

Figure out what time of day you study best, and try to reorganize your schedule to accommodate if you can

Study in your favourite place — the spot on campus or in your house you feel most creative, alert and productive

Treat yourself with a non-food reward (I think coffee is okay! ☺️)

I hope this helps! Know that you’re not alone, and that your problem is 100% fixable — it’s about mentality, practice, persistence, and self-compassion. Take care! 😊

Tier I: The Analytical

1. States an obvious conclusion or implication that the text unaccountably fails to follow up on

2. Explores events concurrent with but not present in the textual narrative

3. Renders the story more coherent or structurally sound

Tier II: The Personal

4. Makes a character or situation more relatable to me

5. Increases the text’s entertainment value

6. Is my fetish

Tier III: The Metatextual

7. Exists as a pretext for the intellectual exercise of seeing how much textual support I can find for something patently absurd

8. Less an elaboration upon the text and more a critical response to the text

9. Adopted specifically to spite the text’s author; fight me, Joanne

Tier IV: The Pernicious