I am the fire I have been sacrificed

Sam nodded. “I uh…I should get going, let you have the rest of your evening”

She nods a little. “If you want to… you’re not bothering me. You can stay if you want.”

“I’ve got some cleaning and stuff to do in the new place”

She nods a little, “if you need anything let me know. Okay? I can get her a bed for your place I you want?”

“I can get it, don’t worry about it”

She nods, “okay... you’ll take her this Friday then?”

Sam nodded. “I uh…I should get going, let you have the rest of your evening”

She nods a little. “If you want to… you’re not bothering me. You can stay if you want.”

“I’ve got some cleaning and stuff to do in the new place”

She nods a little, “if you need anything let me know. Okay? I can get her a bed for your place I you want?”

Sam nodded. “I uh…I should get going, let you have the rest of your evening”

She nods a little. “If you want to... you’re not bothering me. You can stay if you want.”

Sam started at the beginning and started to slowly scroll through, mesmerized by watching her grow. A couple tears rolled down his cheeks.

Jess pulled her knees up to her chest, finishing her beer, then just sitting in silence, watching him. After a while she finally plucked up the courage to speak, “sam I…. I’m so sorry…”

Sam sighs. “we both fucked up”

“I should’ve tried harder to contact you… I was scared. I didn’t know how you’d react and my parents were already pissed at me for being “stupid”… I should’ve called again or something. I don’t know why it wouldn’t let me call your cell. You said you didn’t block me…” she sniffles. “I never should’ve left. Not that way…”

“I mean I won’t say it’s okay because it’s not but I’m not mad, I get it….I just…I’m glad I didn’t kiss any more time than I did”

She nods, “she won’t really remember a time without you… you’re here now. That’s what matters.”

“I don’t know how to explain it, but I love her already”

“It’s called being a parent. It’s weird... how much you love your kid and how much you would do anything to protect them...”

Sam started at the beginning and started to slowly scroll through, mesmerized by watching her grow. A couple tears rolled down his cheeks.

Jess pulled her knees up to her chest, finishing her beer, then just sitting in silence, watching him. After a while she finally plucked up the courage to speak, “sam I…. I’m so sorry…”

Sam sighs. “we both fucked up”

“I should’ve tried harder to contact you… I was scared. I didn’t know how you’d react and my parents were already pissed at me for being “stupid”… I should’ve called again or something. I don’t know why it wouldn’t let me call your cell. You said you didn’t block me…” she sniffles. “I never should’ve left. Not that way…”

“I mean I won’t say it’s okay because it’s not but I’m not mad, I get it….I just…I’m glad I didn’t kiss any more time than I did”

She nods, “she won’t really remember a time without you... you’re here now. That’s what matters.”

Sam started at the beginning and started to slowly scroll through, mesmerized by watching her grow. A couple tears rolled down his cheeks.

Jess pulled her knees up to her chest, finishing her beer, then just sitting in silence, watching him. After a while she finally plucked up the courage to speak, “sam I…. I’m so sorry…”

Sam sighs. “we both fucked up”

“I should’ve tried harder to contact you... I was scared. I didn’t know how you’d react and my parents were already pissed at me for being “stupid”... I should’ve called again or something. I don’t know why it wouldn’t let me call your cell. You said you didn’t block me...” she sniffles. “I never should’ve left. Not that way...”

Sam started at the beginning and started to slowly scroll through, mesmerized by watching her grow. A couple tears rolled down his cheeks.

Jess pulled her knees up to her chest, finishing her beer, then just sitting in silence, watching him. After a while she finally plucked up the courage to speak, “sam I.... I’m so sorry...”

Sam nodded, everything sounded pretty reasonable, and he figured he could handle it. He bit his lip, smiling sheepishly. “I uh, no I just saw the few most recent ones”

She nods, pulling up the pictures folder on the iPad sitting on the table, “here... you can look through. It’s got everything since she was born.”

Sam sat down, nodding. “Yeah…honestly everything. What she likes, doesn’t like, her routines…”

She nods, taking a drink, “she’s an easy kid…. eats anything I put in front of her… partial to cheese though. Anything cheese. She likes the typical girly stuff but she also LOVES dinosaurs. She gets up early usually, before me. Usually crawls in bed with me around 6… I let her watch cartoons and kids shows until 7:30 or so when I get up. Breakfast by 8, then usually she’d go to daycare and I’d go to work. Lunch was provided by her old daycare, and she’s not enrolled in one here yet. I get off work by 4, she usually has dinner at 5, and then we play and hang out until 7, when she goes to bed.”

Sam nodded, making a mental note of everything. “Is there anything she’s not allowed to have or do?”

“I try not to do processed sugar. So no candy. Icecream is ok once in a while. But sugar in sauces or whatever is fine. She doesn’t have any allergies, but other than trying to eat as little bread as possible she doesn’t have any other restrictions. And as far as doing things... not really. I mean she’s supposed to listen to adults so if you ask her not to do something and she does it anyway then that’s an issue. But basic kid rules. Nothing that she could hurt herself doing or that’s rude or disrespectful.” She bites her lip, “I know you saw my Instagram... but did you go back on it at all? We could look at the pictures?”

Sam sat down, nodding. “Yeah…honestly everything. What she likes, doesn’t like, her routines…”

She nods, taking a drink, “she’s an easy kid.... eats anything I put in front of her... partial to cheese though. Anything cheese. She likes the typical girly stuff but she also LOVES dinosaurs. She gets up early usually, before me. Usually crawls in bed with me around 6... I let her watch cartoons and kids shows until 7:30 or so when I get up. Breakfast by 8, then usually she’d go to daycare and I’d go to work. Lunch was provided by her old daycare, and she’s not enrolled in one here yet. I get off work by 4, she usually has dinner at 5, and then we play and hang out until 7, when she goes to bed.”

Sam smiled. “I do too…she’s amazing”

She nods, “you want a drink? We can talk… work out a schedule or something so you can see her as much as you want…”

Sam nodded. “You know weekends are the best time for me with school”

She nods, grabbing him a beer, “and I work Saturday mornings early now so… maybe you can take her Friday night through Sunday morning? We can do something with her together on Sunday?”

Sam nodded, taking the beer. “Thanks. Yeah that sounds good to me. Do you think she would be okay coming to stay with me?”

She nods, “she’s stayed with my parents before… and she had play dates when we were in Paris. And daycare… so she’ll be fine. And if you want you can have her in the evenings one weekday. Not overnight, But like an outing. If you want to… no pressure.”

“Okay, I’m maybe start with weekends and we’ll see how it goes”

She nods, motioning for him to sit down with her, “I’m sure you have questions and stuff?”

Sam smiled. “I do too…she’s amazing”

She nods, “you want a drink? We can talk… work out a schedule or something so you can see her as much as you want…”

Sam nodded. “You know weekends are the best time for me with school”

She nods, grabbing him a beer, “and I work Saturday mornings early now so… maybe you can take her Friday night through Sunday morning? We can do something with her together on Sunday?”

Sam nodded, taking the beer. “Thanks. Yeah that sounds good to me. Do you think she would be okay coming to stay with me?”

She nods, “she’s stayed with my parents before... and she had play dates when we were in Paris. And daycare... so she’ll be fine. And if you want you can have her in the evenings one weekday. Not overnight, But like an outing. If you want to... no pressure.”

Sam smiled. “I do too…she’s amazing”

She nods, “you want a drink? We can talk… work out a schedule or something so you can see her as much as you want…”

Sam nodded. “You know weekends are the best time for me with school”

She nods, grabbing him a beer, “and I work Saturday mornings early now so... maybe you can take her Friday night through Sunday morning? We can do something with her together on Sunday?”

Sam smiled. “I do too…she’s amazing”

She nods, “you want a drink? We can talk... work out a schedule or something so you can see her as much as you want...”

Sam finished and leans down, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before carefully getting up and slipping out of the room

“You’re really good with her...” Jess said, smiling sadly, “I mean I never doubted you would be but... she loves you already. I can tell...”

“Of course, what story do you want? Do you have a favorite?”

She nods, “goodnight moon, pweese.”

Sam grabs the book, settling beside her and starting to read.

She cuddles up to him, falling asleep before the story’s over. Jess smiles sadly, lingering in the doorway, watching them interact.

“Of course, what story do you want? Do you have a favorite?”

She nods, “goodnight moon, pweese.”