PERFECT DISASTER

time  to  think  about  how  lonely  loki  is   &   how  it  affects  him   !   he’s  only  ever  had  himself.   growing  up  he  had  no  one  reaching  a  hand  out  to  him   ,   not  a  single  soul.   if  he  was  going  to  pick  himself  off  the  ground  it  was  going  to  be  his  own  claws  getting  himself  back  up.   he  was  the  only  thing  that  he  had  to  keep  him  going  all  these  years.

he  self  isolated  himself  in  a  deranged  forest   ,   because  it  was  the  only  place  he  felt  as  though  he  belonged.   a  maze  of  illusions  that  feeds  lies  to  you   ?   it  felt  like  it  was  practically  made  for  him.   so  for  years  he’s  been  isolated  from  everyone   &   he’s  just  so  detached  in  general.   he’s  whimsical   &   ethereal   ,   he  doesn’t  even  seem  like  he  belongs  in  this  world.

everything  is  foggy  in  the  forest   &   it’s  because  of  loki.   the  illusion  feeds  off  the  brain  of  those  that  walk  through  it   &   shows  you  illusions  projected  from  your  memories.   yet  for  loki   ,   it’s  all  just  fog.   yet  that  fog  is  what  best  represents  him.   mysterious   &   yet  overflowing   ,   it’s  not  something  you  can  grasp   &   easy  to  get  yourself  lost  in.   loki  is  just  like  the  fog   &   honestly  it’s  what  best  represents  his  general  mood  underneath  that  flashy   &   smug  smiles  of  his.

he  just  feels  so  distant  from  everyone  around  him   &   he  second  guesses  himself  whenever  someone  tries  connecting  with  him.   will  they  like  what  they  see  when  you  cut  through  the  fog   ?   when  they  see  the  monster  that  stares  back  at  them  through  hollow  eyes  that  have  long  since  forgotten  what  their  golden  heart  was  like   ,   could  they  forgive  them  for  the  blood  on  their  claws   ?   he  doesn’t  want  to  know   ,   he  doesn’t  want  to  be  rejected  again.

         “–Loki, ya didn’ answer my question.” She’s still following him. Nicole wants to get out of the woods, yes. But she also wants Loki to be okay as well. Okay with her leaving and then being on his own again. It was safe to say, the Braixen was worried for him. She didn’t wanna judge or point fingers, but she likes to think Loki has gotten attached to some degree. Why else would he stick by her this long?

          Quickening her pace just a little, she reaches out to take hold of his hand. Tiny nails gently grip on to one with much larger claws. But, claws that would not bring her harm, she would like to believe. He wasn’t getting away from her that easily. Not like that. Not with such a vague answer. He might have stronger magical properties than she does, but she was still one not to be trifled with. At least not concerning this. Not when he’s made sure she was safe this entire time, Nicole would at least like to be able to do the same for him.

         “C’mon! Ya cain’ jus’ leave me hangin’.”

stop  caring   /   why  does  it  matter   ?   the  words  you  know  you  couldn’t  say  out  right  linger  against  your  teeth   /   why  was  this  so  hard   ?   (   it’s  not  like  you  ever  cared  before   ).   it’s  pathetic  really   /   you  want  to  laugh   &   cry  all  the  same.   you  don’t   /   maybe  you’ve  forgotten  how  to  cry.   her  paw  clings  to  one  of  your  giant  claws   /   she  wasn’t  going  to  just  let  this  all  pass  as  if  it  were  a  blur.

you  take  a  moment   /   to  ponder.   she  wants  an  answer   /   to  a  question  that  you  no  answer  for.   it’s  almost  laughable   /   how  the  moment  you  lose  grip  of  any  kind  of  truth  your  claws  could  dig  themselves  into  you  start  to  lie   (   after  all   /   it  was  second  nature  to  you   ).