Z

Alright.

I know many people don’t like Neo or simply aren’t interested in him, but for me he’s a character tied to many memories and has held a small piece of my heart for six years. And if it weren’t for him, none of this would have happened and TEAG wouldn’t exist.

The people who know me are aware that I’m someone who doesn’t like looking back, and I hate seeing old things I’ve made in the past, especially when it comes to art. I tend to delete and throw away everything old because I don’t like it.

For a long time, I felt this way about the videos that are on YouTube. Publicly there are only two, but there are more that are hidden and can only be opened through a link…

Every time I watched those videos, I felt embarrassment crawling up from my feet and biting into my back. I saw mistakes, poorly drawn faces and bodies, and many other things I didn’t like.

But I never deleted them. And that’s strange for me. I’m grateful that fate didn’t allow that to happen, because otherwise I suppose I would never have dared to make TEAG.

TEAG is a project of love and a final cry that says: yes, I can finish something, yes, I can commit to something.

It has flaws, it has inconsistencies, but that’s part of the charm. It’s a work that plays with and talks about the creative process, and it steps into the skin of fictional characters who have to deal with everything their creator does, whether good or bad.

I draw and create because I enjoy it, and my tastes tend to change a lot. I draw from inspiration, not obligation, and that’s also why there may be inconsistencies or characters who appear more often in my free drawings that I post on my social media. Still, I try to moderate myself when writing and drawing for TEAG within the game.

And I plan to keep drawing what I want and what I like, because otherwise I would start drawing out of obligation, and that’s a big no for me when it comes to creating something. I’d end up with a burnout that’s hard to get rid of… and I don’t want that to happen.

Well, I’m rambling a lot, and I still haven’t reached the main idea, which was to talk about the New Year image.

I think placing the trio of friends in this artwork helps soothe my sense of embarrassment toward the past. It feels like a thank-you to the very existence of the close-up video, and a peace pact that allows me to look at that video with affection and pride.

Mary and Rafael are in their school years, while Neo is reliving the memory so he can see them one more time. That’s why he’s in black and white, because he shouldn’t be there.

Sadly, it’s impossible for him to return to those times or that world, since he was erased before he could even see the light. Now only the memories within Nulla remain. Even so, he can still enjoy that memory, even if it’s fragile and easy to alter or corrupt. An example of this is Mary’s bangs, which are on the other side, and her hairpins, or Rafael’s color.

But that’s no reason to be sad! Neo doesn’t really care whether this is real or not. He can see Mary one more time, and that’s what matters!

Finally, I also wanted to include the redraw of the scene that I would say is the origin of all TEAG, which is where Neo invites you to play.