I know why I'm sad

As odd as it could sound, since I've met him I've been worse and worse... Hating myself twice harder...

We'll never be together, he will never know how I feel about him, how every time I touch him I feel butterflies, how his laugh makes me travel to another universe, how his voice makes me vibrate.

Ma fucked up brain

Back home you try it and it's too tight BUT you're almost there.

2 mins later yiu hear you sis showing off how well the short suits her

Condidence: 0

Sister: 1

Me In panic

And you always felt like a real fat shit, so you put effort in your appearance to please others but they were all attracted to your skinny sister.

So your entire teenage hood, you saw all your crushes getting closer to your sister, because "you're just too much of the perfect friend".. So you became introvert and very good at fake smiling to not bother others.

And everyone end up thinking you're so sociable and positive, you're such a good friend. And as you told them, you don't need someone to love you because "you don't have the time for stupid love and breaks up".

But everytime you come back from this social world, you really feel unloved, unable to find comfort in the warm arms of someone who would tell you "I love you". Sometimes you really need a hug. A hug that seems so far. A hug that would probably never come.

And I'm 20