Rufio

Tumblr has a way of portraying d/s as waifish, doe-eyed subs at the beck and call of scary suit clad dominants who clearly have it all figured out, and it's so disturbingly inaccurate and troublesome.

The idea that your dom is some sort of robot that is always "on" is unfair and needs addressed. They are as human as the next person and just as prone to the issues we all face daily. Just because they are the one in the position of power in your relationship doesn't mean that they can't have a bad day, suffer from medical issues, suffer from anxiety or depression, be having trouble sleeping, feel a little lost or just need some time alone and I find it really confusing that so many people don't seem to understand this seemingly obvious concept.

There are endless asks bouncing around tumblr along the vein of "my dom is busy with work/with family/sick/stressed and I don't feel they are giving me the attention I need". And yes, sometimes this is clearly just a dom that isn't invested in the relationship and willing to put in the work, but I think we can be too quick to jump on the idea that they're a bad dom without considering the fact they could be a person struggling and just need some support to be able to get through this for the two of you.

Yes, when they accept your submission they are accepting responsibility for your welfare (entirely based on the dynamics of your own relationship) but that doesn't make you, as a sub entirely lacking in responsibility and it doesn't mean that they should neglect their own well-being to get the job done, that's just trouble waiting to happen.

It means that you need to have a conversation about what happens when the situation arises that your dom may not be feeling themselves. Not that they are not your dom anymore or that the relationship is in any sort of danger of collapse...just that you carry on as usual and they/you can deal with what they're going through until they're back on track.

That they communicate their needs and you understand what you need to do to support them and that it doesn't mean you or your needs are any less important in their world. I'm not saying that for us subs it doesn't throw us off sometimes but it's real life and not Tumblr d/s.

It's basic human decency and something that needs to be talked about more openly. We speak so often about subs using their words and communicating their needs and it seems to get overlooked that doms need to not only do this too but feel like they can do it without judgement or lack of understanding.

They need to be able to feel that they can have a bad day without feeling like they'll lose your respect.

They need to know that you've got them just as much as they've got you.

Werewolves travel in packs, not gangs