this is me

Maybe I got to close

I cant see you with somebody else

And I thought I was killing time but I’m just killing myself

Because

I can’t see you with somebody else

So I’ll just keep lying face down on the floor

I genuinely give the love I hope to receive

I love so hard to the point that I hurt my own feelings

I’ll never change that aspect of me though

“ if a goodbye hurts, it means you’ve spent your time well”

If I ever cross your mind however brief, I hope it’s with a passing that lightens your heart with a benevolent smile

And we missed out, on all the ways we were supposed to love each other

What if timing and space, was just an excuse that we used.

a lot about past relationships, friendships, the places I would go to and all the stupid things my friends and I use to get into.

It’s weird driving around town and seeing all the spots that my friends and I would hangout at, spots where my ex girlfriends and I would go to get away from people, or where I’d just ride around with music blasting or being quiet so I could think about life.

I can remember so many days from my past. what I was wearing, who I was with, what we were doing, what I was listening to, the things I believed in, I even remember the smell of the air at the time.

And now, 3-10 years later everything is different, honestly nothings the same and I think that’s just a part of growing up, and that’s ok, but just every once in a while the past just comes back to me. All of the good the bad and ugly. It just slaps me right in the face and I gladly take it. Sometimes I wish I could go back, not to redo things but just to live through it twice, really sit down and embrace those moments. The moments when I was by myself, with friends, family or past relationships. The moments that really mattered yanno? Really be able to pay attention to the small things and extra details.