Send “🎵“ and I’ll reply with a song that’s related to my muse and I’ll explain why

WELL since he latched onto this one the other night, let’s have us this song from Hopper’s point of view:

“I Wanna Be Yours” by Arctic Monkeys

bonus “tuned down, slowed down, fucked up” mix

It’s got that smooth deep guitar bassline that Hopper loves and there’s a gentle melancholy/longing in the lyrics that suits him well. The theme through it is, essentially, that what he feels for (in one interpretation) Joyce is so selfless that he wouldn’t mind being just objects she finds useful, as long as that helps her. More broadly, he has this intense need to be useful, needed, a protector, a solid rock for other people to lean on. I think that’s what’s at the heart of him, more than anything. He’s more than willing to put his own life and safety on the line when someone else needs him. He just wants to feel needed.

But I think that’s also what scares him the most. He lost everyone who ever came to depend on him - his child, his ex-wife, probably fellow soldiers in Vietnam and/or fellow cops or people under his protection when he worked in New York. You could add Alexei, too. When Joyce first came to him looking for Will, he was so cynical and jaded from losing people that he’d closed himself off. I mean, he’d probably seen his fair share of missing child cases end badly, so why would that one be any different? But then she turned out to be right after all, and Eleven turned up, and slowly he started opening himself up again. He’s come close to losing El multiple times, and the thought of it terrifies him. Even just her growing up makes him feel less necessary to her, which isn’t really true, but you couldn’t tell him that. And the thought of letting someone in romantically is just as terrifying.

Like it says in the song, though, “Secrets I have held in my heart Are harder to hide than I thought, Maybe I just wanna be yours” As difficult as it is for him to let people get close, it’s even harder to not let them, because that is truly what he wants, even if he won’t always admit it. He’s shy and clumsy and needs a lot of reassurance as he navigates his emotions. He’ll have times where he feels like it’s too hard so he’ll get back on his bullshit for a while, retreat back into his shell and pretend he doesn’t crave affection. But in the end, he’s healing, little by little. And eventually, he’ll be able to admit that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be wanted.

joyce and hopper | young adult/happily ever after au