if we could just pretend

“But I did. And nothing is ever stopping me.” Frank told him, whining against him as Lorcan leaned the both of them back. “With you in town? Absolutely nothing. Alice is on duty tomorrow anyway.” He was working himself thin lately with all the repairs, so when Alice offered to take up the main shift– Frank happily agreed. “Why? What do you want me to do?” He smirked, glancing up to barely kiss his chin.

Teddy looked over at the crowd, resigning himself to what he might have to do in a few hours. Lorcan was never going to cooperate. He always knew that but he still had to try before taking any action. It filled him with guilt. Intervening made him feel like one of the bad guys, and that was something he actively tried to avoid at all costs. But he needed his job, sometimes he had to do things he didn’t agree with so that he could fight for what was right on the good days. The days where change might actually be possible. He looked back at Lorcan, feeling an overwhelming wave of guilt. “You have three hours, Scamander. Then I’m calling Magical Law. I’m sorry.” 

Lorcan stepped away from Teddy. “If that’s how it’s going to be,” he said, shrugging. “That’s how it is.” He raised both his hands to flip off Teddy, backing away from him. “Casse-toi, Lupin,” he called out before he turned back to the crowd, hopping up onto the crate that served as a makeshift stage next to the other who had taken control for a moment. He wrapped an arm around him, raising his wand to his throat to amplify his voice before he continued to shout at them, leading chants and all the while looking directly at Teddy. He wanted Teddy to know that this wasn’t going to stop—no matter how much he pleaded and begged. 

Dominique only just stopped herself from rolling her eyes. She could guess as to the reaction he would expect from her–especially with his inflammatory words–yelling, screaming, a hot-temper. She sure felt it, didn’t she? The girl merely scoffed. “None of your business.” 

Lorcan raised an eyebrow. “So someone is up there, huh? You need help getting to St. Mungo’s?” he asked, that shit-eating grin still spread across his features. Even if this conversation resulted in him getting slapped, he was pretty sure it would be worth it. Lorcan got too much of a kick out of riling other people up.

His eyebrows rose slightly at his response before he let out a sigh, sitting in front of him. “People also sometimes hate others for no reason or just because they are different. Isn’t it a wonderful concept?” He had plenty of people hating him just because he was the son of Draco and his family was known to be death eaters. He was such a great example by becoming one himself. “You realize you have the right to self defense right? Don’t let the assholes take you down. Then they know they are winning.” He never did understand why blood purity mattered so much to people now a days. Even with animals, it was crazy. “Remember, if you’re different, then you apparently don’t matter.” The blonde rolled his eyes, leaning back onto his hands a bit. Purity had been a problem for decades, and in this day and age it was confusing that it was still such an issue. Some of the best people were non pure wizards, because if you were a pure blood you were either an asshole or ‘a traitor’. 

Frank went to the kitchens in the back, grabbing a glass of milk before coming back to hand it to Lorcan. He stood between his legs, smirking up at him as he spoke, “I like my view down here.” He admitted with a grin, burying his face in Lorcan’s chest. “Merlin, I missed you.” Frank mumbled into his shirt, hands resting on his thighs.

Frank’s heart stopped at the kiss, hand curling into his hair tightly before they pulled away. “Yeah– I– what do you want?” He looked down at his watch, something had to be open at 10pm. “Burgers and shakes?” Frank laughed some, scratching the back of his head. “I’d have something made here but the kitchen elves went home already. I can make good PB&J though.” He offered.

From his expression, Frank looked as if Lorcan’s words were completely a surprise. Which, they were. He half expected him to sweet talk his way around saying them. “You mean it?” Frank breathed out, searching his eyes like he would be able to tell if he were lying. He wanted this so badly that he’d be crushed if it wasn’t true. Frank carefully held the sides of his face, pressing their foreheads together. “You’re important to me too– really, really important.”

Scorpius had just gotten out of work, late as usual with all the injuries that had been happening lately. He didn’t expect to run into yet another after he had left work, but when he saw the younger wizard lying on the ground, he quickly made his way over. Looking over the boy, he almost immediately recognized him. Noticing he was conscious, he kneeled down beside him. “Lorcan? What the hell happened here?” Of course the only logical answer seemed like knights or death eaters, but maybe it was just some asshole who had it out for him. Either way, it was literally his job to help injured witches and wizards.

“They are not listening to you, Lorcan!” Teddy bit out, thinking of the folder on Lorcan sitting in his office. Half of it full of paperwork he had been forced to fill out, half of it full of documents… reports, witness accounts, plans of future protests. “They think you’re dangerous! They consider you a threat! That isn’t how you’re going to get them to listen to you! Right now they’re just- they’re telling you what you want to hear but they won’t take action! I know they wont!” He paused, eyeing the crowd nervously. They had found a new energy, prompted by somebody who had decided to lead the chanting. He swallowed, praying that, just this once, Lorcan might actually listen to him. “It’s the truth.” He said, his voice softer as he tried to highlight his sincerity. “Everything I’m doing I’m doing to help… you might not see it but changes are being made, they are.” He let out a huff of breath, still watching the crowd. “Please, Lorcan!” He all but begged. “I can give you three hours, but if you don’t shut this down then I- they want me to arrest you… Please don’t make me do that! I really, really don’t want to do that.”

“They’re not listening to you, either!” Lorcan scoffed in Teddy’s face. “I am dangerous. I am a threat. That’s the only thing they’ve gotten right about me so far, Ted, did you give that to them, too?” He pressed his lips tightly together, shaking his head. “If you’re going to arrest me, just arrest me. If you’re not, I have other things to do.” He gestured at the protest beside them. It was cold and Lorcan knew that, but he also knew that he couldn’t be fucked to try and explain things to Teddy anymore. He was on his side and Lorcan was on the other, and that was just how things were going to have to be. Lorcan had resigned himself to the fact, even though he cared about Teddy deeply. There just wasn’t anything that he could do to make Teddy see that working for the ministry did nothing. 

“Yes.” Frank admitted, exasperated that he had to go through all of that just to get Lorcan to realize it. “I want you to tell me that I’m important to you. And that you want me to.” He bit his lower lip, heart feeling heavy in his chest already. “But only if you mean it.” And Merlin, Frank prayed he did. He wanted more since the first night they had together, he needed it. He hated how unbothered Lorcan seemed by it, granted he didn’t know what was going on in his head– but still.

“That’s not how it happened!” Teddy caught Lorcan’s eye, silently begging him to understand. “You’re the one who doesn’t understand this isn’t black and white. Protests aren’t going to bring about change! Our world doesn’t respond to- to aggression and demos! How have you not realised that by now? I’m not stupid, okay? I see shit on a daily basis that makes me feel angrier than I have ever felt but that’s why I’m working for the Ministry! That’s why I worked so hard for the job nobody else wanted!” He squared his shoulders, keeping his head held high as Lorcan approached him, making it clear he wasn’t intimated, but he felt his heart shatter at the question, feeling the genuine heartbreak and sense of betrayal. His anger disappeared, replaced instantly by the guilt that he worked to hard to repress. He hadn’t meant for things to become so complicated. He liked Lorcan. He liked him a lot, and he fully supported his cause but he didn’t have a choice. It was a memory he revisited often, one he thought about time and time again. The Ministry would only have fired him and found somebody willing to add Lorcan to the ever-growing list if he had simply refused. He kept Lorcan’s name from the Ministry officials for as long as he possibly could, and why wasn’t that enough? He was always going to end up on the registry, one way or another. It was inevitable, wasn’t it? “You were causing so much trouble.” He said, his voice slightly weaker than it had been just moments before. His hair began to fade to a deep blue. “The Ministry knew who you were- they knew. I kept your name from them for as long as I could. You know I did, Lorcan.” He closed his eyes briefly as Lorcan continued, visibly flinching at the word ‘coward’. It cut deep, far deeper than he would ever admit. He thought of his parents and wondered, for the millionth time, whether they would be proud of him. He was fighting for a good cause, in the only way he knew how… but was he doing the wrong thing? Was he making things worse by working alongside the oppressors? He glanced at the crowd surrounding them both, listening to their conversation and sighed deeply. “Can we talk somewhere else?” He asked, knowing what the answer was most likely going to be. “Please, away from… this?”

“That’s what you’re telling me!” He raised a hand so he could point at Teddy again, unable to contain his rage. “You’re the one who doesn’t understand—any of this. You’re still working for a system that is not going to change unless we force it to change. Do you think the best way to do that is to be a cog in the machine? You’re helping enforce the system that still oppresses people like us, and all you can say about it is that they’re not going to listen? They’re not listening to you Teddy. They’re listening to me plenty.” He swallowed hard, his voice getting quieter. “I don’t know that, Teddy,” he replied simply. His eyes were still cold, and the crowd had fallen under the spell of another leader, who, in the absence of Lorcan’s usual fiery rhetoric, had picked up the slack, though he didn’t have the charm and charisma that Lorcan did in convincing a crowd that he was the one that they should believe, no one else—especially not the government. Lorcan spoke to an anger and resentment that had ben sitting heavy in their hearts for a long time, and now, all he saw in Teddy was another force that was trying to slow him down. Lorcan had no inclination to slow or stop, so he wasn’t going to even think about it. Once upon a time, he and Teddy had been on the same side. Lorcan thought that they might be able to do something about this, together, but as the months went on it became clear to see that Teddy was nothing more than another gear turning in the machine that sought to retain the status quo. They weren’t going to do anything to make things better for those in the lower strata of society if they weren’t forced to do it. Lorcan was there to guide their hands. Lorcan was there to force their hands if he had to. If Teddy didn’t see that, then he had to be blind. There was no way that he could just keep going on like this, at fucking twenty-six years old, and think that he was actually making any change as an employee in an endless bureaucracy. He scoffed at Teddy’s question, his arms coming up to fold over his chest as he shifted his weight back. “Talk. You want to talk about this?” Lorcan shook his head. “I’m done talking, especially to you.”

“Because— because maybe I like knowing!” He told him. “Maybe it’s because I don’t know if I’m going to be able to keep this bar open. I don’t know if I’m ever playing Quidditch again. I don’t even know if my mom’s going to get better.” Frank caught himself, reaching out to hold the edge of the bar. He’d held it in for a whole year, what was another minute? “I know you’re going to be gone but that— that didn’t stop me from still wanting you.” Frank said quietly, stepping closer to look him in the eyes. “Stop it. I don’t give a shit about water damage right now.”

Dominique frowned, eyebrows knitted aggressively. Usually she only reserved this kind of look to the worse of the worse. Except that Lorcan was the worst so it seemed fitting. “Better than the blue balls you have,” she spat. And then did the only defense that short people had–which was kick really hard at his shin. 

Teddy’s hair flushed red again and this time there was nothing he could do to alter the colour. He thought back to the counselling he had received from the Hogwarts Matron during his time at school, the techniques she had taught him to control his anger. Bullshit. “I have every reason to be angry.” He growled, taking a step closer to Lorcan. “We’re on the same side, Scamander! When are you going to realise that?” He continued to glare at the Vampire before him, repressing a wave of guilt as he remembered why Lorcan was so against him. “I get it, okay? You hate the Ministry, you hate my Division and- and I added your name to the registry! But you didn’t give me a choice! I’m trying to make the world a better place for people like u- people like you. I tried to keep you off of that list. I tried! But you were making so much noise, the Ministry noticed you! If I didn’t add you to our records then I would have lost my job, Lorcan!” He let out a huff of breath, running a hand through his hair. Lorcan had a point, of course. The Ministry was always going to side with Humans over Half-Breeds, no matter the evidence provided. As far as they were concerned, a few Vampires being murdered here and there wasn’t really anything to worry about. But Lorcan didn’t know Teddy was escorted out of the courtroom during the trial he was shouting about. He didn’t know how hard he had fought to bring the killer to justice, despite being ordered to sit in silence and take notes. He didn’t know how hard he was working to alter the system. “I know you’re upset.” He said, lowering his voice again, strands of Turquoise reappearing in his hair. “And I know why you’re upset. I’m upset too, but this isn’t going to work! The Ministry responds to paperwork and files and forms and- and this is only going to reinforce the way they see you. You must know that.” 

“But I like you so— I think I’d find it at least bearable.” Frank scoffed. He’d seen the pictures, he heard everyone talking about him. Lorcan being famous and plastered everywhere only made Frank miss him more. He couldn’t even tell his friends about Lorcan because they’d end up laughing and tell him in his wildest dreams. “I’m thinking that I’m done guessing and playing your game. When you finally tell me exactly what you want, I might be inclined to give it to you. But I’m done with the hinting and the vague answers, Lorcan.” Frank rubbed his eyes.