lou

i keep forgetting to give myself insulin. or maybe im not forgetting and im just not doing it so i get to feel “normal”. i hate that my eating has extra steps. the manner in which i eat is this: i hate meals. i hate breakfast lunch and dinner. so on weekends or any day i’m not at school i do not Do breakfast lunch and dinner. i snack in the morning and throughout the day. and i have dinner because i’m forced to. but it’s really hard to do insulin for several little snacks that all happen close to one another. especially when i get a bag of chips or something and zone out while i eat and i end up not knowing how much i ate and having to guess how many carbs it was. my sugar is high all the time because i just don’t give myself insulin. i keep forgetting to do it honestly. unless i’m in school for some reason. and lately (or for a while?) the fear of my sugar being too high has kept me from eating at home at all. no my sugar is too high to eat. my sugar is finally a good level, i shouldn’t eat so i can preserve that. i want to gain weight but it’s so hard when i don’t eat right. and diabetes has taken so much of my freedom too. my mom HAS to know my phone password so she can get into my phone if it beeps at night. HAS to be able to get a hold of me in case something horrible happens so im not allowed to turn off notification noises for her. i’m not allowed to express how diabetes makes me want to kill myself because it makes Her angry. i vent and i vent and i vent about how it sucks and she’s like “well you have to live with it” “well there might be a cure in ten years.” let me tell you. i DONT have to live with it. i can stop living with it at any time i like, but that means i stop being alive. and cure in ten years? you think that’s of any comfort? that’s too far away for me. and it will probably be expensive. insurance won’t fucking cover it. they wouldnt cover dexcoms and omipods for my brother and i until he had a seizure and almost fucking died. it’s all so awful. all my maladies combine to kick me down and starve me and make me miserable. it’s hard to do anything like this.

i never felt so understood in my life

"why can't they just be friends?" not in the homophobic sense, but in the "in your need to center romance in everything you are missing the whole point of the media in question" sense

hey. you have to love your trans brothers of color okay. and your trans sisters of color. and your nonbinary siblings of color. you have to okay. its simply non-optional

you have to love your intersex siblings of color. you just have to

rip your pads loudly and fix your bras in public to assert dominance ladies

i have to clean my room cause im going on a 2 day trip on monday and dont want to leave it uhh like really messy and physically dirty but like... i really dont want to?

also i need to do laundry and pack my shit but idk if everything will fit into one bag but i really don't want to take a suitcase since its really inconvenient and im going by bus and it would be really awkward and also i dont think itll fit so like uhh whatdoido

the world's smallest carnivore is called the "least weasel" 😭😭 i'm dying but like if it's the smallest carnivore then it sure is the least amount of weasel you can have 😭😭😭

Immediately I love him

@karcinogen you

I have the worlds most unattractive sneeze

i have the worlds most unattractive nose blowing sound