How ironic that the reason I'm feeling down is because I have to take medication to not feel down
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@lorare13
How ironic that the reason I'm feeling down is because I have to take medication to not feel down

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I'm a ball of emotions
She's bad for me.
But there's only one decision.
And that's the decision I make.
May crush ako sa prod. I don't know where to start. What to do
I have died; now I must escape hell

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How long has it been since I remember what I did last? Every day just seems flowing by so fast.
I fell too easily. My mind keeps drifting to her after I saw her for the third time. The first was just a greeting, the second - a conversation and today I spent time with her. I fell and it felt like the little things since the first time I saw her are forming these feelings I'm starting to feel inside. I'm afraid that these emotions might grow bigger and eventually overwhelm me. She's bright just like her name and I couldn't ignore how appealing she is! The moment thoughts of her come to mind walls come up in an instant as if by instinct I shouldn't think of her for a second longer. But as the day goes by I keep seeing and hearing her on my mind. May 26, 2024 Sunday Thoughts 1:23 am
I see no light at the end of the tunnel
I want to escape poverty. I don't see myself achieving that at least for the next 5 years. How is 610/day minimum wage livable? Our monthly expenses is at least 19k and we barely eat enough. Even just considering my own expenses, I struggle to understand how to budget 12k monthly salary for transportation and food expenses. I need a plan I believe in. I don't feel motivated to struggle without having something to live for - hope that things will improve if I just work hard and smart.
My Diary on Becoming Human
June 19, 2023 Monday 5:30pm We were invited for a meal at our neighbor's. Today is Pau-pau's birthday. I heard he would've been 20 years old now. The other neighbors greeted Pau-pau with a happy birthday. "Happy birthday Pau-pau!" That's what I should've said when I entered the house. Or when I was getting food. I could've asked how old he would've been today. I could've talked about my stories of him, what he was like, what he did, what happened.
I have become someone you don't like, or maybe even hate. I miss you my friend. You were the best to me.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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"Take the path of least resistance when presented with 2 good choices. Make your life easier by picking the choice that fits with the rest of your life and priorities. A choice you need to rearrange your whole life around may ultimately cause more anxiety than it is worth."
I was desperate for advice. WikiHow gave a surprisingly good one.
2023๋ 6์ 4์ผ ์ผ ์ค์ 6์ 58๋ถ Do you believe in signs, premonitions, paramdam? 'Cause I don't. Well, I used to. I used to really believe in my heart of hearts that there is a spiritual world and God sometimes speaks to us in his own way, in a vague "need an interpretation" kind and even a direct conversation with certain people.
As for me, I couldn't not believe. There were various occasions when it was hard to not think about it especially if these uncanny, rare-to-be coincidence stuff happen. Yesterday night around 9pm, I couldn't sleep because I was coughing a lot. I rarely cough and cough, or catch a cough. The next morning earlier at 6am, on top of my Insta feed is a prayer request for Teacher Jina's father who was hospitalized and diagnosed with TB.
I want to write about stuff like this now and put them in one place so I could learn more about the frequency they occur. In the past, I once or twice, or thrice dreamt of a scene and was shocked when I learned that it happened similarly in real life. I usually chalked it up to the near-future predictive capabilities of the human brain. Well, I'm sure other people experience nearly supernatural encounters with nature and themselves and maybe even believe that what they saw, hear, or experienced has some sort of meaning but do they really have some sort of meaning? Perhaps there's room for interpretation, be it supernatural or not.
์์นจ 7์ 15๋ถ์ฏค ๋
Right. Are you familiar with sleep cycles? I recently started to tailor my sleeping habits according to 90-minute cycles for better sleep. I read that 6 cycles equaling to 9 hours of sleep is the ideal count. But I could barely reach 3 cycles. Sleeping is hard.
How do you write?
I did most of my writing by combining 9 different things other people said to compose my own text. I don't think I've ever written something that came out from my own ideas. How did I survive this long? I don't think I've never properly learned to write. Every time I start to put my thoughts into words, I struggle. Multiple phrases come to mind. I keep thinking that this isn't the right one or that something sounds better than this. Then I end up not writing at all or spend hours trying to perfect that text by scouring the Internet for ideas. And then, I look back at that moment in that room, me sitting, competing for that editorial writing competition. I remember preparing a lot despite my sudden participation. I was stuck. I didn't know what to write next. Every thing I could think of seemed dull. I didn't want to write something that didn't sound great. It was about the disaster caused by the typhoon and I barely wrote the first paragraph. Our teacher asked me what I wrote and I imagined her reading that paper and I felt embarrassed. I hated it and never want to feel it and put into that position again. It all started with me agreeing to being a substitute for something I wasn't good at. I couldn't say no and no more than three days later, we were on the way to a DepEd district office for a journalism competition. I sat in a cold room and just froze there. After that, I refuse to write something that my heart feels nothing for. I'd hate to read it. I'd hate other people to read it.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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2023๋ 3์ 28์ผ ํ ํ๋ฆผ
Peach Mango Pie
๋์ ค์ ์ผ๊ธฐ 3์ 1์ผ ์ ๋ง๊ณ ํ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์กฐ๊ธ ๋น
์ค๋ ์์นจ์ ์นด๋ ๋ฑ ํฌ์ ๊ฐ์ ๋์ถ ์ ์ฒญํ๋ค. ์คํ์ ํ์ผ ์ ๋ฆฌํ๋ค๊ฐ ๋ ์๊ฐ ๋๊ฒ ์ ๋ค์๋ค. ๋งํ๋ฅผ ์ฝ๊ณ ๋ ธ๋๋ฐฉ ๋ฐฉ์ก์ ๋ดค๋ค. ๋นจ๋๋ฅผ ํ๊ณ ํ๊ตญ์ด ์์ ๋ฅผ ํ๋ค. ์ค๋์ ๋ณ์ผ ์๊ณ ๊ทธ์ ๊ทธ๋ ๋ค. ๋ฐ์๊ฒ ์ง๋ ์๋ค. ์, ํ๊ตญ ๋ ๋ฆฝ ๋ง์ธ!