somberauthor is smelly

my name is uhhh.. honestly whatever you want to call me i don't really care that much i just dont wanna be doxxed. I AM A MINOR!! anyways. the IMPORTANT part is that i'm here to fill in for @somberauthor until they get competitive enough to ACTUALLY START POSTING AGAIN!!!

anyways more about me if you care

im a INTP-T on the myers briggs personality thingy. she/they. i'll try to write for what y'all ask for, but try to keep it things that i know(use this handy dandy list for that). ermmmm i might write for ocs if asked too. i'll add stuff if i think of anything else, that's it for now

masterlist here

!!rules of this blog!!

1. absolutely NO tolerance for bigotry (racism, homophobia, stuff like that) or anything along those lines(don't be gross)

2. you can only request up to 4 characters at once

3. keep it clean(i'm not writing smut, try not to push it)

4. i'll keep the reader genderless unless said otherwise, but there are some characters who will automatically be put with a gendered reader(such as rose lalonde, or dirk strider if y'all ask for romance)

5. don't nag me in the requests or i'll do the equivilant driving you into the mcdonalds drive-through, order myself a coffee, then leave without getting you anything.

6. no genuine hate to somberauthor(they're cool)

7. try not to get anything added to this list..

uhh..

Bad day (Jason Todd x Reader)

The buzz of Gotham’s night never fully fades, even inside the walls of Jason Todd’s apartment. The distant wail of sirens and the occasional rumble of a passing car were slightly dulled by the walls, but still buzzed around in your pounding head.

Jason leaned back on the couch, the weight of the day lingering in his muscles, but his attention was absorbed by the book in his hands—and now you. You had plopped down beside him, body heavy as you practically collapse into his lap.

His eyes widened slightly at the impact, but he didn't question you as he threaded his fingers through your messy hair, the movement slow and almost hesitant, as if he didn’t want to disturb you too much.

“Long day?” His voice was gruff, but there was a tenderness there, as if he were trying to hold onto this moment, to savor the calm. The weight of the city outside, the mess of everything he usually carried, seemed distant, almost nonexistent when he was here with you.

"mmmgnnnhgh" you groaned, to exhausted to bother with an actual answer.

"that bad, huh?" you could hear the slight smugness in his voice but you couldn't care less at this point. you were just glad to be home.

he put his book fully down to focus more on you. "gonna actually respond?"

"no" you grumbled against him. He pet your hair gently, as if you might shatter if he was too rough with you.

he stays quiet momentarily, thinking about something.

"you want a shower? sleep?" he questions "if you're gonna sleep you should get in the bed. i don't want to deal with you complaining about back pain tomorrow..."

"just let me lay here for a bit jay.." you murmur

"okay..i guess" he concedes, because who was he to tell you what you needed right now.

he allowed you to lay against him, fingers tentatively brushing through your hair, his other arm laying awkwardly at his side, unsure of what to do with itself.

the whole thing was a bit awkward... but it was a hell of a lot better than the shit day you had just had. for now, you were content right where you were.

can we please publicly shame this anon...why would u ask me this

yes! yes i sleep

CALLIOPE!!! CALLIOPE MY BABY@!!! AHH CALLIOPE!!

CALLIOPE X READER HEADCANONS

be nice to my baby... she's very insecure about her appearance and she wont fight any digs at her at all

she’s very much a giver just in general

she’ll give you compliments, advice, gifts.. her whole heart

she’s a lot more reluctant to receive anything more than advice

she’ll deny compliments, she’ll try to refuse gifts out of curtesy

anything thoughtful like that makes her flustered

she doesn’t exactly experience love in the same way a human or troll might, but she really tried to understand and communicate with you

she finds anything intimate at all very fascinating

to the point she almost studies you

she likes figuring out what makes you flustered, what you like, what gets the cutest reactions like some kind of experiment

this took a long time

JASON TODD X READER WHO KNEW HIM BEFORE HE DIED

he’s changed a lot from the boy you once knew.. dying will do that to a person, you guess

he’s a lot bigger than he was before, and you dont know whether to blame it on the pit or the fact he’s gotten older.. you choose to blame it on the former because you dont want to accept that he got taller than you without cheating

you were a bit intimidated at first when the two of you tried to reconnect, he’s a lot scarier than he was before,,, but he’s still jason.

still the same nerd that reads jane austen for fun, that much hasn't changed

he was nervous about trying to reconnect, not just because of how unbelievable the whole- ..him dying thing is to begin with, he's also aware that he has changed a lot and with him being gone for so long maybe you did too... maybe you wouldnt want to be friends with him anymore

He might be a bit reluctant to let you close again but he’s absolutely ecstatic that you want to be friend with him still

he’s nervous that you wont like him because of how much he’s changed and he absolutely does NOT want you to find out that he’s red hood

not that he’s ashamed but more of he doesn’t wanna scare you off

he treats your relationship with him like glass

in the case you already know he’s red hood and you’re cool with it or whatever he still needs a lot of reassurance

he doesn’t hold as much of a grudge against you because duh- ur not batman and why would he expect you to save him if you didn’t know he was robin, or if you did you were also just a kid

it’s kinda strange seeing how much you’ve changed since he died.. and how mourning him effected you as a person

he’s kinda guilty about it but at the same time he would have been a little upset if his death didnt have an impact on you at all

he’s just overall a very confusing man

you’re glad he’s back though

hi i need to work on requests maybe

or

study !

So, maybe platonic headcanons of the main four of Homestuck (John, Dave, Rose, Jade) with the reader as like an older sister figure of sorts who is constantly overwhelmed/stressed and 5 seconds from a breakdown due to how stressed she is (think like how Twilight's breakdowns in MLP are 😭) over the main four getting up to crazy stuff and the whole world being triggered into ending thing in general—but, the main four i n question are kind of menaces toward her and like messing with her (classic sibling teasing—), at least John and Dave seem to like it. But the second anyone else bullies or messes with her that ISNT the main four doing it, they unleash all Hell and act very protective of her (possibly fighting people if they even dare to be mean to their older sister figure somehow)—

I dunno if that makes sense, but I just thought maybe it would be silly (its basically like 'NO ONE BULLIES MY SISTER/SISTER FIGURE BUT ME')./lh

very interesting,,, I must get to writing right away!

BETA KIDS WITH OLDER SISTER FIGURE READER

these kids you met online,, stress you out. you love them with all of your heart but MY LORD do they have a shit ton going on

you're a few years older than them, they're all 13 except for john who has the only birthday NOT in december out of the 4 of them

they're very strange kids

Rose likes to think she stresses you out the least of the group, but honestly, it's John.

John has the most normal home life out of all of them,, you have to worry about him the least because his dad is there and cool. dad egbert the goat!

dave just nonchalantly talks about how his brother beats the shit out of him

rose is constantly having this weird beef with her alcoholic mother

jade is being raised by a dog..?

john's dad makes cake. one of these is not like the others

not that you don't have your own shit going on, but do you try not to trauma dump on random pre-teens on the internet

JOHN EGBERT

he's more tame than the others on some aspects, but he's still a troublemaker

even over the internet, he's still a prankster through and through

he'll act like he needs to ask you something super important and be all "are you sure you wont be mad,,," only to ask like "do you know the muffin man?" god DAMN IT JOHN ALL OF THAT OVER A SHREK REFERENCE?!

he comes to you the least with his issues which you chalk up to the fact his dad seems to be much more present in his life than the other kid's guardians are

he talks about how annoying or his dad is sometimes but it's much more tame to say- dave's bro

ROSE LALONDE

she tries to get you to vent to her

she claims to be the therapist of the group, 'diagnosing' her friends with things she's heard her mom talk about and using words you're 90% sure she doesn't even know the meaning of

she gets told she's mature for her age a lot because she's being neglected by her mother, and she takes that 'maturity' to heart, even though as the older person you can clearly see she's not really all that mature

you don't mention this to her obviously

you read over the stories she writes sometimes, and theyre honestly pretty interesting. you give her feedback if she asks for it, which is usually

DAVE STRIDER

he's probably the meanest and also the most protective towards you. he treats you like an actual sibling or almost a mom without even realizing it

he's 100% called you mom on accident before

Bantering with him is pretty fun most of the time, though he doesn't stop with the jokes if you're in a mood,, not that he does that totally on purpose, being through a screen and all

out of everybody dave has probably caused you to crash out the most

if he finds out somebody is harassing you either online or in real life though he will find them and harass them back for you "just because he likes fucking with people"

you keep up with sbahj to support him, he acts like he doesn't care but he appreciates it

JADE HARLEY

she's really sweet! a strange kid, but so so kind

she's also more protective of you, but in less of an attacking people who mess with you directly way. she's much more likely to talk with you about how stupid and mean those people are

out of all the kids she makes you the least upset. she's the type to tell the others to stop when theyre being too much

you do worry about whether or not she has somebody taking care of her? she's mentioned a grandpa before but you aren't sure how active of a role he has in caring for her?

tried my best! this was fun to write!!

looks around…

i don't write for cronus, sorry