I hear the secrets that you keep

“I have 69 cents… you know what that means?”

“…I don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets. It’s a sad day.”

“Oh.” “I thought that meant we’re gonna suck eachother’s dicks.” “No?” “ if I chip in the rest of the money can we share chicken nuggets?”

“Lord Tubbington was a troubled cat. It all started with online gambling. Lady Tubbington tried to stage an intervention on Fondue For Two with his ecstasy addiction. She tipped off the boss and he ate the twinkies. That was the last time I saw him.”

“I’d love a new kitty, maybe I could surprise your mom! 8 cats and a baby? I think Daxton will be grooming himself in no time..it would be cute to see, but I think four is enough, Levi.”

“Uhm, mom. Cats can’t be addicted to ecstasy.  Weed though. Definitely can be addicted to weed. Like every time I get my bong out, Mr. Flufferkins and Pumpkin get all excited and shit.” “I hope online gambling isn’t in the cat genetics though. Pumpkin seems like he has a very addictive personality.”

Is it super lame if I just ask someone to homecoming, right here, on the internet? I know, it’s like- a month a way, But I really wanna go and I know… no one.. will ask me.

Ooh, can I come? Can me and Karter come? We never got to go to prom together.  We can be your...- catacombs! No, thats not the right word. Please can we come baby brother, pleassseeee??

“Thankfully no, because Mr. Flufferkins isn’t naughty and involved in ponzi schemes. I knew Lady Tubbington would rat him out one day.”

“wait, what?” “Wait! Do you guys want one of mr. flufferkins kittens when he has them?” “Like I’m gonna keep one of them, but me and karter literally have like four cats plus a kid so like, i dont think we have anymore room in our apartment.” “I mean, I think we do, but Karter said 8 cats is too many.”

“Saw some old pictures of my feline child Lord Tubbington and it made me sad. I knew the cat-mob would find him sooner or later. Two girls one cat will never be the same.”

“...Wait, do you think that means the cat-mob could be after mr. flufferkins?”

You’ve crack my code! Fionatron 5000 is malfunctioning… –Error! Error!

...Oh my god. Does Kara know?

What can I say? At least I can style out a mistake if it happens.. Anyway, what’s up people?

“Dude, who even rides a skateboard anymore?” “It’s all about the razor scooters now.”

“I assume you didn’t listen to the old Bob Barker PSA’s, eh Levi? Oh well, I’m sure you’ll find people around here that want some of the fluffy little demons.”

“...Who?” “Okay, wow- they are not demons, take that back.”

“.. Where on earth did you acquire that many kittens, Levi?”

“My cat- Mr. Flufferkins- is gonna have kittens soon.”

Being a Taylor Swift meme, you dumbnut!

bEiNg A tAyLoR sWiFt MeMe, yOu DuMbNuT !!

what about that meme.

i’m just saying, smell it next time.

...The cheese or the soap

Of course you did… No! It totally is, you dink.

... i don’t believe you. I’m asking Karter. WAIT No! I’m asking Gabe, he probably knows.

Oh right, you did do that, didn’t you? Hm, I guess that could work.

... Wait, work for what? What are we talking about again?

Shame, I was gonna ask the old Levi if he wanted to come over and get high, but since he’s dead…

... this is obviously a trap, because Fiona never wants to do anything with me. ...Are you robot?

i’m the idiot? dude, you thought a bar of soap was cheese, and ate it.

Hey! ...-But... I didn’t die. That’s the victory.