She placed the creamy hot milk on her lips. Feeling that softness enter her accompanied by that broken down bitterness from the coffee.
It was the taste of his lips. Those outlines lips that caught her attention among that full red beard. She wanted to run her nails softly through that face so badly. Leaving red lines in it.
And when she closed her eyes, that warm mug felt just like him. She could smell home, as if she was in his arms.Â
For a brief second she was there. A second that felt like an hour locked inside his kiss. She didn’t want to wake, obviously. But life knocked her up from dreamland.Â
It was the waiter asking if she wanted anything else. “No, thank you.”, she said, whilst thought to herself she wanted to be in her dream back, thank you very much.
Falling in love was her thing. She used to say that she had to fall in love with the most random things, otherwise, she wouldn’t be living, just surviving.Â
When he showed up talking to her, she wasn’t expecting to fall so hard. However she’d been longing for a feeling like that. Wishing to be caught so she could feel that thrill again. A recovering addict.Â
Numbness didn’t suit her, although she dressed it for too long and kind of got used to that reflection. Non-passionate love, unexciting work, vague friendships. She became used to it easily. Â
Always thinking of an alternate reality where she would be jumping in the sea and not just walking by the sand, afraid to be touched by the white foamy waves.Â
She would think of metaphors for herself as a way to feel something occasionally. And playing pretend in her head when alone. She would make up every excuse to be left alone inside her alternate world. It was where her heart jumped, her stomach twisted and her body melted, like honeycomb melting.
So she called men up to her apartment, like a singing mermaid in that fiery fake red hair - that she picked yo to be her own, in the idea it was more suiting to her fire obsession.Â
Being upstairs was a curious thing for those men. The tiny apartment looked like a place full of personality.There was a crooked brick wallpaper behind the TV in the living room. She placed it herself. There was also Audrey Hepburn posters on the walls to portrait her love for old Hollywood meaningless films.Â
The blue sofa was where she studied them. Asking all kinds of questions about life, culture, love... She always inquired them with her eyes switching from their eyes to their lips. And her eyes... Oh... Those eyes said more then her lips. And they never lied. Sincerity was their biggest trait, that both helped and betrayed her.
She would stand still, sipping red wine, her legs crossed. And the men would just lock their lips onto hers, like a magnet. Fulfilling her need for the night.
Love affairs were something she had decided to have and then she would dissect all of those men in words. Some of hate and despise, some of boredom, some of doubt and few of love, or real love at least. The latter she felt when she met him.
He picked her up, opened her guts and wrote passion and love words inside her. Forever to be his temporary fling.Â
She knew it was a lovetrap, but that didn’t matter for her. She wanted to get caught in that web. And she tangled herself in a very difficult way so that, if he left, she couldn’t risk to lose that feeling easily.Â
She didn’t know if she had fallen in love with him or what he made her feel. Maybe both... Maybe just the latter. After all, she was just looking for the feeling, the words, the poetry. For poetry was what her life was about.
She felt both happiness and sorrow for having met him. For one moment she was smiling at nothing apparent, and another she dropped warm tears on her cheeks.
Was it real? - She wondered. Reality or dream... Didn’t really matter as long as the feeling in her guts were real.Â
She finished her coffee, staring at the heart shape foam in the bottom of the mug. Deep breath... Shot of reality and it was time to wake up.
She left the warm seat behind but he followed her. Like a ghost, or a friend that doesn’t really exists.Â
She leaves him, leaving her heart, her desires and her dreams. And then she inhaled numbness again for another meaningless encounter. But this time her head would wander around and when she placed another coffee mug on her lips again, he would come back to swipe her of her feet and take her to dreamland.Â
gummygunk
kaledo-art
janainaart
ellievsbear
prguitarman