look zombies RUN!!!

It must suck being a composer for alarm ringtones, knowing that however beautiful a tune you compose, people will inevitably hate it.

Getting birthday money is like the real-life equivalent of passing GO in monopoly!

Oh my god. This is it. This is it exactly. Like exactly.

As adults we are told “Don’t bring your work home with you”, yet as youngsters all we were taught was that homework an essential part of life.

“you should learn to respect your elders” is the grown-up version of “well I’m bigger than you”

I wonder how many people thought I was incredibly attractive but never told me. I would probably feel a lot better about myself.

when you yell “puppy!” at a lil doge and they get happy and wag their lil tail like “yess!! i am a puppy!! a baby dog!!! thank you!!!!!!”

When you yell “puppy!!!!” At an old doge and they wag their tail and get all happy like “yes I am still a little doge thank you for noticing! !”

#every dog is puppy. all dog. no age limit on puppy. all are puppy. puppies.

Today’s date (2-20-2016) sounds like it’s stuttering