heyo

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Since I’ve been here it’s been: nonbinary people, bisexual people, asexual and aromantic people, polyamorous people, pansexual people, people who only use the word queer for their identity, trans men/mascs, and intersex people. At least. I might’ve missed something.

1 paying customers can also do that. they do.

2 employees can also do that. they do

Like. Starting t at nearly thirty I had resigned myself to the fact my body shape would always be a source of dysphoria bc I wouldn't be able to change the underlying structure (skeleton, bones) and you can't change bones.

I had hips wider than my shoulders bc both sides of my family apparently got their genetics from cartoon moms. My waist to hip ratio was something thought only achievable with corsets and a bustle. My shoulders (and arms) were usually the deciding factor in going up a shirt size (and now really are post top) but still were not as broad or the right shape and there was no way they were ever going to even sit equal with my hips. And so I just had to resign myself to the fact those things wouldn't change because you can't change your bones and dysphoria would reign forever.

Because the muscle and fat redistribution would do some work but it wouldn't undo the effects of e based puberty and bone growth. Because you can't change your bones.

Bullshit. Bull fucking shit.

You know what bones are connected by? Muscle and cartilage and tendons and all kinds of movable mutable things. Fat redistribution is a game changer. Even if you're going "but there's no fat on my hips it's just the bone which I will be cursed with forever to always have dysphoria hips" things will change.

It's not even been two years on T and like. The immutable castings of biology have bowed to the steady application store bought puberty. My hips have gone down and my shoulders have widened. They're actually even with each other. And in the right clothes my shoulders actually look broader.

Because yeah there's been a little slimming of my hips themselves but the bones don't change (it don't mean shit) but you know what has? The fat on the thigh that was the actual cause of the shape. We're talking shaped like a chicken drum stick. Wider a couple inches lower than the hip joint than at the actual joint (which was always just bone, which you can't change) but that's changing.

My shoulders have broadened just a bit. Gotten rid of that smooth curving line where snow would slide right off in an avalanche and they could never be wide enough to balance out the hips. They've squared up. Saw the challenge and went yeah I can't take it. And did.

The waist (the ribs that go in and the hips that go out, bones you can't change) has made the hour glass curves fade. The muscle and the fat has filled it in and smoothed out the curves into something that isn't.

You can't change your bones they say. You can't change your skeleton. You can't change the underlying structure (so don't start t after puberty because it won't work anyway) bull shit. Bull fucking shit.

Your bones are held together by soft tissue that absolutely does change. That can pull things into different alignments. (T has made my shit less elastic less stretchy, meaning my heds joint stay in place more but also my shoulders have the structural integrity now to be broad and square and get that not rounded bit at the joint. It's also shut down the cycle of hormones that made the extra hormones that allows your joints to become looser in order to let your joints shift your bones around. Bc the bones are held together by soft tissue that absolutely can change.)

And they're really really really overstating and over emphasizing how much of your body shape is actually made up of your skeleton.

You can't change your bones but it don't mean shit. You can change how they attach to each other. How the muscle grows around them. How the layers of fat sit on top of them.

The redistribution changes take a while on T. It's a slow process. But it's not even two full years and my hips are even with my shoulders when I was told that was never going to be possible (bc you can't change your bones) and like... the little table that comes with the informed consent paperwork says these changes are meant to see the biggest differences in the 2-5 year mark. I've supposedly got three more years where my silhouette is gonna keep changing (and even then it'll keep doing it because people's bodies are always changing at every age).

So yeah "you can't change your bones" they say repeating a fact (your femur ain't growing longer, your pelvic bone ain't shrinking) to mean "your skeleton won't change and you'll be stuck with a scaffolding that will always be that of the wrong" and that is fucking bullshit. Things will change if you give them time bc t really is fucking magic.

Also invest in stretchy pants and jackets with give in the shoulders if you find you need new clothes. I've had to buy new fitted pants like three times bc my butt and hips keep shrinking, replaced half the shirts in my wardrobe bc my shoulders got broader and arms muscle, gone up a shoe size bc there's a ton of soft tissue in there that got bulkier, and my tux has completely ship of theseus'ed itself because of all the changes.

unauthorized fucking thing!!!!!!

(warning: loud chirping throughout)