Im So Normal About Everything

my wife's hours are bonkers right so, and its been messing up my sleep a little because im not used to sleeping without her around. so i only got about four and a half hours of sleep last night. and then today i came home and i wanted a snack and i sort of accidentally ate an entire large deli container of bleu cheese crumbles + a mangesium vitamin gummy + a melatonin before realizing that the last time i went to sleep after eating Extraordinary Amounts of Psychoactive Cheese i met the ghost of my grandfather who told me that he wasnt upset at me for not being there when he died. and i am not actually in a headspace to deal with that right now. but im also not really able to stay awake. so im just kind of talking to the one crumble i have left like, hey, man, i know i kind of fucked up here, but take it easy on me. im. im scared. no ghosts this time. it actually meant a lot to me last time but i dont want two ghosts in one year thats way too many ghosts. maybe just make this one kind of wacky. nevertheless. not my will, but thine, be done.

Harrowing: someone in your Fandom just made an innocuous and harmless post that nonetheless betrays a deep misunderstanding of the character and the character's narrative purpose and you just have to sit there and let them be wrong lest you be an asshole

Please take a moment to appreciate that your throat isn't hurting

it's warm so I've been doing this activity called sitting in front of a fan

war with the overly zealous sun

what they don’t tell you is you have to be so so careful when you listen to music because sometimes ☝️ it will reflect your experiences

whatever man *walks outside of your render distance*

turns out i am gay

holy shit how’d this alpaca learn how to type

Diversity win! The alpaca is gay!

he was a llama

a llama?! he’s supposed to be dead!

@hellsite-hall-of-fame i think this deserves to be here

An underappreciated part of this story is wheee OP implies that he is his wife’s little brother.

professional little brothering is a lifelong craft that requires no blood relationship to the people you inflict it upon. all it really requires is a willingness to show your deep affection for someone by annoying them.

Concept: cursed blade rehabilitation center. Destroying a sentient weapon is expensive and highly unethical, so adventurers bring them to the center where highly trained staff can care for them and eventually find them forever homes. It turns out most cursed weapons are products of trauma and are not strictly evil themselves. Some blades turn out to be fiercely protective companions. Others don't even want to be weapons at all, finding joy in simple work like blacksmithing or farming. Most blades just need to be loved.

A pack of bandits descend upon a seemingly undefended town. But the blacksmith's hammer, the farmer's scythe, the woodsman's axe, they have not forgotten what they once were, and they *will* defend the town that they have come to love.

This sweet girl has been with us for seven seasons. She was forged in the heart of a volcano and would be ideal for anyone with a preexisting fire affinity (she's a cuddler and is guaranteed to keep you warm in winter). She still loves burning, but it turns out you can only reduce the world to ash once. She would be perfectly suited for forest management that regularly requires controlled burns.

This weary old soul has grown tired of bloodshed and would much rather spend his days as an ominous decoration in a tavern or common room, a perfect fit for an adventurer looking to leave their dungeon crawling days behind. He likes peoplewatching with his single glowing eye, preferably from high, prominent locations with views of entrances and exits.

While it's fair to say that most rehabilitated weapons are not recommended for first-time wielders, this +2 Defiling Dancing Greatsword might be an exception that proves the rule! Once tempered in the blood of orphans, Greta has had a past that she's sought to grow beyond, and is eager to take a more proactive role in protecting her future lifetime companions. We're looking to find her a forever home with a group of young, earnest adventurers or a single child destined to thwart the legions of evil darkness, where Greta's protective and motherly instincts can really do good and fulfilling work.

For experienced swordbearers only! Lady is a 6-foot zweihander with severe abandonment issues after a previous wielder died in the lowest level of the Lich King's least-favorite summer crypt, where Lady went undiscovered for nearly 300 years. She is looking for a forever home where she can always be close at hand to her person. While she doesn't mind mowing down the odd bandit gang, she has taken surprisingly well to ornamental hedge trimming, and enjoys observing tai chi.

The highly trained staff is a sentient wizard's staff and he's the only one there

I find it unreasonable that the only way to get energy is to have energy, and if you don't already have energy, the only way to get it is to rip it out of thin air when you've got none to make one.

It’s hard to get to the gas station when your tank is empty; usually you gotta call someone to help

I don't think gas stations are real. I think that's a myth.