Welcome to ShinRa's HR Department! How can I help? @loneshinrarep - Tumblr Blog

“Dealing with costume bans is the worst part of October and December.”

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I'm Joining the Turks but, I'm also questioning my life choices... Is there anyone i can talk to?

“All I can suggest is for you to pick a god and pray.”

#little-leeu #littleleeu #Inquiries

I'd like to log a complaint. Rude of the Turks stabbed my hand because I stole his sandwich.... Again

“Fill in a complaint form and leave it in for Tseng and I to shred- “I mean- look over...”

“And then tell you why you should never steal things from a Turk.”

#UnknownEntity #Inquiries #ShinraEmployee

Is there a Shinra Employee Handbook? Is it regularly updated due to various incidents?

“We have a remote access file employees can access on their PHS rather than a physical handbook. After the last few influxes of Turk and SOLDIER employees, the handbook kept getting updated and costs were racking up so we’ve moved to digital. The President, the Directors, and their assistants have editable access to the file.”

“Though no matter how much I call myself ‘Director Oster’, I still don’t have that privilege.”

#UnknownEntity #Inquiries #Anonymous

You may want to warn the Turks that ragging on a certain play will only cause trouble if a certain First Class SOLDIER overhears or gets wind of it.

“No, no, this could be funny.”

#UnknownEntity #Inquiries #Anonymous

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They’re holding out a knife for any redheads or science department employees approaching. “I see you both and I’m ready this time.”

#DashCommentary #IC

"I'm mildly concerned about this cat running around the building on two legs and screaming at me in a Scottish accent."

“....... “Would the owner of the Scottish anthro cat please come and collect it?”

#UnknownEntity #Inquiries #ShinraEmployee

@pallidcountenance replied to your post “Someone started a rumor that Rufus sleeps with all the Turks and...”

"Not true."

“Not to worry, sir. Director Tseng has it covered.”

#pallidcountenance #reply #Discussions #IC #Rufus

the-blackest-spider‌:

“And just as cute. If anyone gives you too much trouble, let me know. I’ll give them hell.”

“Aww, thanks, Natasha! I’m glad you have my back!”

#the-blackest-spider #theblackestspider #Discussions #IC #Natasha

the-blackest-spider‌:

“Don’t worry. You’re also literally the last person who needs to be afraid of me.”

Everyone else however? Absolute fair game.

“Oh good. Because I am as threatening as a plush chocobo.”

#the-blackest-spider #theblackestspider #Discussions #IC #Natasha

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@reapersxfolly replied to your post ““I like to call Tseng ‘Director’ just to piss off Heidegger and anyone...”

I am a Director

“Yes, sir! Everything you say, sir!“

#reapersxfolly #reply #Discussions #IC #Tseng

@the-blackest-spider replied to your post “Apparently there's a rumor going around that one of the Turks can...”

"No. It's not a threat. I do believe it's well, boys being boys. Don't worry, I would never threaten you."

“Phew, I was a bit worried there! Haha.”

#the-blackest-spider #theblackestspider #reply #Discussions #IC #Natasha

“I like to call Tseng ‘Director’ just to piss off Heidegger and anyone who cares about it.”

#IC

Apparently there's a rumor going around that one of the Turks can crush watermelons with her thighs.

“Uhh... is this a threat? ‘Cause it feels like a threat.”

#FacelessInfantryman #Inquiries #Anonymous

When she says we handled it, we mean there's a little jelly freak all over the floor that smells like feet and rotting peanut butter. Could we get a clean up crew please? Thank darl!

“I am not your information courrier. Order them yourself or I will personally come down there and make you lick up all that jelly by yourself.”

#reno2ndgun #Inquiries #Reno Nix

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"The Science Department needs to keep better track of their toys, one got loose it, but don't worry we handled it."

“I am not equpiped for this.”

#the-blackest-spider #theblackestspider #Inquiries #Natasha

"Look, I don't know what trouble Reno is getting into, but I just need you to know that I have nothing to do with it. Any complaints regarding the Turks DO NOT involve me, understand?"

“Oh no worries. I know you’d never get involved in anything that would make me want to personally castrate that redhead.”

#that-turk-laney #thatturklaney #Inquiries #Elena

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Welcome to ShinRa's HR Department! How can I help?