Fureur de vivre

I haven't really presented myself, so here we are!

You can call me Sky, my pronouns are he/they, and I'm 19. I'm a history student, in France, and my main fandom is the Marauders (obsessed, if we're honest), but I absolutely don't support JK, because trans lives matter, as well as the ones of all the queer people <3

EDIT:

Coming back here due to the latest jk abomination.

I absolutely DO NOT condone any of that. Unfortunately, that fandom is also my biggest safe place these days, and i'm not ready to let it go.

I just want to be clear that i do not support jk financially speaking, i don't buy official merch, i don't buy books, do not watch the movies and do not plan on watching the reboot.

I want this space to be as safe as it can be, and i'm here for anyone who might need to

END OF EDIT

My ao3 username is Lonely_Parrot !

You're The Closest To Heaven That I'll Ever Be 3 chapters/?

So, this one is a Jegulus and Wolfstar ff, modern AU, without magic, and Sirius stayed with the Blacks for Regulus, and the fic is on how it impacted their lives, and how they get out. Reg is trans in this one, and misgendered for a while, bc he doesn't even know he is trans. Once he knows, pronouns are adapted.

Like The Rose That You Hold In Your Hands (Lover Be Good To Me 1 chapter/ ?

Pandalily fic!

Don't Let The Sunlight Blast Your Shadow One shot/ 15k

It's a Sirius centric fic, with eventual Wolfstar. It takes place during the Marauders fifth year, and i didn't include the Prank, because I didn't want to.

Stars That Burn The Brightest/ Fall So Fast And Pass You By One Shot/ 12k

Black sisters character study!

It's a canon compliant story, so it's angsty, but there's also exploration of who they are, them falling in love, falling away from each other, autistic and aro Narcissa, Sybill and Bellatrix relationship, Andromeda and Ted! a lot of fun :)

I Ain't Got The Power Anymore One shot/ 2k words

Sirius gets his hair cuts as a punishment - muggle au, with a happy ending

So He Laid Me Down And I Felt Happy One shot/ 3k

Regulus is having a bad day, luckily, James and Sirius are here for him

Jegulus, and good Black brothers

In The Back Of My Mind, You Died/ And I Didn't Even Cry One shot/ 5,8k

Everyone thinks Barty is hypersexual, when really, he'd rather never think about sex, never hear about it. Sex-repulsed Barty Crouch Jr. CW : child abuse, pedophilia, incest (by Barty Crouch Sr.) read at your own risk, and take care of yourself!!! Eventual Rosekiller

When You Rock'n'roll With Me/ No One Else I'd Rather Be One shot/ 4,7k

Sirius with a collar and a leash (wolfstar)

I, Carrion 8 chapters/8

It's a Regulus centric fic, where he is trans. There's no pairing in this one, but once i finish this one, it will be in a serie, and the rest should have a Jegulus pairing.

It's rather angsty, and we see the Black brothers rekindle, bc despite everything, Sirius wants to protect Reg

Le désir fou d'une minute enlacés 11 chapters/11

Sirius Black is an artist, Remus Lupin stumbles into him, they fall in love.

Very angsty, talks of grief, suicide attempts

Pairings: Wolfstar + past Jegulus + present Jily

Just Remember Lovers Never Lose 3 chapters/3

Sirius and Remus adopts a little werewolf girl. A little bit of angst, but mostly fluffy.

And I Thought Of Ma' And I Wanted To Get Back There 5 chapters/5

It's the continuation of Just Remember Lovers Never Lose, in which Sirius gets in therapy, and it's his trials before he find someone adapted to him.

I Do Amazingly Bad/ I Make Magnificient Trash 6/6

Barty is transmasc and starts going out with Lily :) t4t bartylily in a non magical au, mostly character study

When You're With Me, Baby, The Skies Will Be Blue For All My Life 2 chapters/2 - 5,8k

Asterope Black must marry, but how is she supposed to say she is a 'he', wants to be called Regulus, and doesn't ever want to have sex or a romantic relationship? Thankfully, she finds one Remus Lupin, who will help him get free. QPR Moonwater

Will I Be Known And Loved? 2 chapters/ 2 - 4,3k

The Light Catches The Mirror In My Brain, It Gives Me Shade 3 chapters/?

70's without magic AU. The Marauders arrive in a boarding school all at the same time in their fifth year. Features BPD Sirius, ADHD James, good Peter, stammer Remus. Oh, and French Sirius, Desi James, Welsh Remus.

I really want to continue this fic, if anyone is interested in brainrotting this fic with me, dm me, I'm all for it!

And that's all that I wrote ! (some fics are not revealed yet, but fear not, they're coming soon 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️)

And there’s all this miscommunication because Ilya will occasionally mention her name/talks about her and Shane thinks that this is a real woman who is possibly a girlfriend. And he’s talking about a cat but somehow this comes across like he could be talking about a woman. So all this time, Shane thinks that Ilya and (insert name here of cat) are also friends with benefits but possibly more when in fact it’s just Ilya mentioning his cat.

So they get to the cottage and they declare they’re love and make their plan and then Ilya casually drops in “it will be a big move for (kitty) but she’ll be fine, I have a plan.”

and Shane is panicking and freaking out because what?! “I…don’t understand….”

“I will have to drive her when I move, I don’t want to take her on a plane.”

“Uh.”

“I have looked up, you know, taking them on planes and they need to go into the hold. I don’t want to do that.”

Shane is panicking and also really confused because why would a person go in the hold and -

“She will love you, I think. She doesn’t like many people but you will get on well.”

Shane is tearing up because he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, “She’s coming to Canada?”

“Uh, yes, do you not understand how pets work Hollander? Of course, she is coming too.”

Shane takes a long moment to absorb his words and understand that this woman who he’s thought for years is very special to Ilya is in fact a pet of some sort. And so he’s kinda out of it.

Ilya doesn’t understand why Shane is being so weird, he’s not realised that he never said she was a cat.

“Wait. Are you…allergic to cats?”

Shane can’t help it, “She’s a cat?!” He realises a second too late, he’s never going to hear the end of this ever.

“Yes.” Ilya smirks, “Oh! I see. I forgot I never said who she was. Did you think this was a woman??”

“NO!”

GOD he found her because he was running by the harbor in boston one morning and found a little kitten who got tangled up in a fishing net near the docks, and so ilya stops his run to get her out, and she is obviously puffing herself up like an angry little cotton ball as if her little fluffy butt isn't TRAPPED, and ilya is amused and just, "wow wow, such an angry fish. you are shark, maybe?"

and she is littol and also damp and it's COLD, so he ends up taking her home with him and names her fish because he thinks he's funny, but significantly, he calls her fish in russian, which sounds like "RIH-ba," which to an english speaking ear just sounds like the name Reba with extra emphasis on the first syllable

and reba first comes up in conversation when ilya pauses to text his pet sitter at a hookup with shane, but shane can't see the conversation and just "what? you have something more important to do right now?" and ilya who was a little worried about leaving his kitten all alone is just half-distracted goes, "mm, i am checking up on my ryba. i think she might miss me."

and shane is SO instantly jealous and just, "reba?"

"yes, is her name. she is-ah-" and the word "kitten" escapes him in the moment, so he says, "kotenok, you know this word?"

and shane who DOES know this word but ONLY in the context of when ilya has called him it during sex (and thus thinks it's some dirty talk equivalent of "person i'm fucking," maybe) is now pissed but so flatly goes, "yeah, i know that one"

"she is very cute. you want to see picture?"

and shane is SO simmering mad about it just, "no, thanks." and ILYA thinks he's just mad that sex got disrupted for this, so he playfully tosses his phone away and just, "such a face, hollander. do not worry. i have attention for both of you."

and this is NOT welcome news to shane >:( but fine >:( whatever >:( he doesn't fucking care >:(

and ryba doesn't LOVE meeting people (she is the opposite of papa 😔), so one contributing factor to shane never going to ilya's house in all those years (at least from what he tells himself) is there's no point stressing ryba out for something that's SO casual. it's the reason hookups never go back to ilya's place with him. there is already a lady of the house, and she does not like company. and shane is JUST a hookup, obviously. there's no point in stressing his cat out for something SO casual.

and then on tuna meltdown day, ilya cleaned the house up to look nice so ryba's toys are all collected in her room (because she is the only child of a millionaire--of course she has her own room), and ryba goes to chill out under the guest bed until Strange New Person is gone. but what ilya conveys is, "you might see ryba. i am not sure. she does not like new people." and so shane is now also confused because what?? he's coming over here and someone else might also just show up??

"you're not worried about her telling anyone?"

and ilya just *amused look because he thinks this is a joke about their secrecy* "no, she is very discreet. is not a problem."

and shane would like to keep pushing, but he also doesn't know if ilya is making a joke or not, and he doesn't LOVE the idea of another random person just popping in on this VERY big secret.

"i mean, i'd rather she didn't know at all"

and ilya still thinks they're running a bit here and just, "ah, is sexier, yes? staying secret." *wink* because again! ILYA thinks they're talking about his cat!

and shane is a little reassured, but it does add to the day that like. WHO is this fucking reba person??? and WHY would rozanov even joke about her finding out?? is this a kink?? is this setting up for a threesome? is that why rozanov finally invited him to his house? so fucking reba can hop in bed with them?

WAIT NO OH MY GOD EVEN FUNNIER IDEA FOR SHANE LEARNING ABOUT RYBA:

she doesn't come up during the cottage because ilya is still thinking about the logistics of the move in terms of signing contracts/planning moving his stuff/etc., and obviously ryba is going to be going with him, but he'll just put a mental pin in it to look up the process because some countries have quarantine.

but ryba then. doesn't really come up. they're trying to just enjoy themselves at the cottage and ilya misses his fuzzy girl and doesn't want to dwell on missing his cat because he knows it's a LITTLE sappy and he IS happy to have this time with shane.

but this then means that shane stays over at ilya's house overnight for the first time in the new season and gets woken up to ryba at 2 am with the zoomies (shane got up to get water and didn't know to shut the door after to keep her out), so he wakes up to SOMETHING in the bed running around like a MANIAC and jumping around and even landing on his fucking FACE briefly?? what the FUCK is happening!!! ilya what the FUCK is in your house!!!

and ilya just *groggy but obviously knows this is just his cat* "is just ryba, hollander. don't worry. she will settle. rybochka, calm down. is time for sleeping."

and shane just?? reba set a fucking wild animal loose in your house???? WHAT??

and ilya just *now equally confused* what? does she have mouse or something?

??? you tell ME???? what the fuck kind of woman were you fucking?????

and ilya now *sitting up and turning the light on and gently tossing his cat to the end of the bed when she jumps on him at this sign that it's Time To Play* hollander, what the fuck are you talking about?? you think i am fucking other people???

shane gets up to get some water and ryba is just sitting in the corner of the kitchen like

and finds him hanging out on the floor in the guest room talking to ryba under the bed

@nirby-wirby

ryba does adjust, but for the first several weeks she does immediately spooky arch when she crosses paths with anya as if she just. forgets that The Other Thing is still in the house. and she immediately deflates and chills.

Growing from within (2022)

Am I autistic bc I didn’t clock how hard Ilya was flirting in every interaction with Shane until the shower scene?

In the gym, Ilya is trying so hard to connect with Shane. He says sorry so flirtatiously then immediately asks about Montreal, not about Boston. Then he asks about Boston and how often they’ll see each other. Cocky but trying so hard to make that connection

When he goes to Shane’s hotel, we talk about Shane’s suit, but never that Ilya is dressed up too. Maybe not a suit, but definitely something a guy would wear on a date.

When Shane apologizes to his parents for being late, David just says don’t worry, no big deal, while Yuna says it’s fine, he’s just not normally late (a little passive aggressively). Then David wants to talk about YouTube and unusual friends and Yuna just wants to jump into brand deals. I dunno, tells me so much about them.

Connors drinks shots like a maniac

I WILL calmly and kindly try to help anyone who is afraid of bugs. I will show them my finds, i will explain their importance, i will tell them just how sweet and gentle and friendly they are. And I WILL shoot down any immature loser who believes senseless killing is the only possible response to not liking something.

Get woke. Love bugs.

Look at this man experiencing freckles and awkward Canadian politeness and developing a fat crush.

My favourite part however is as Shane is leaving clearly uncomfortable with how their conversation went (he does a head tilt like "well, that went horribly")

Ilya notices and that's when he chirps, immediately making Shane more comfortable as he chirps back. And thus, their lovingly teasing, when they say "asshole" and "boring" they really mean "I love you" dynamic is born.

"Is your blanket warm enough? I'll go get another one."

"I will carry plates, go sit."

"Practice is optional for players, Shane, not captain."

And, look, Shane isn't one to lay about. He's up for morning runs, he attends almost every optional practice, he's meticulous about his work out routines. He's a top athlete and so is Ilya, they both work incredibly hard to stay at the top. Still, Shane doesn't have a problem with a lazy afternoon reading in bed, or a free weekend spent at his cottage, or a summer relaxing.

He notices that sometimes Ilya will startle, just a little bit, if Shane walks into the room when he's laying on the couch, scrolling through his phone. If Shane makes even the slightest request, Ilya is jumping to get it done there and then. He's the first one at practice and the last one to leave.

He will take naps with Shane, but he's always up before Shane, working out in the gym, doing their monthly calendar, adding things Shane likes to their shopping list that he wouldn't add, etc.

"Just sit with me," Shane catches Ilya's arm on his latest trip to the kitchen."

"I know, I will," Ilya covers his hand. "I just want to wipe down counters before your parents get here."

"They won't care," Shane scrunches up his face. "They won't even notice. Come sit down."

"Okay," Ilya says, but looks a little torn. "We are suppose to be hosting, not lazing around."

"Ilya," Shane sat up more. "You cleaned the whole house like twice today. I cooked. We aren't lazing around."

"Yes, I know, but..."

"Ilya, you aren't lazy," Shane said directly. He doesn't know exactly why that word seems difficult for Ilya, but he has his suspicions. "And even if you were lazy sometimes, I wouldn't care. I would like it, probably."

Ilya softened. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Shane tugs him and Ilya finally lets himself be pulled into Shane's lap. "Just come be lazy with me."

One of these is your classic TMZ highly invasive round-the-corner spy shot of Shane and Ilya--like, waiting for an Uber, is what it looks like, and the bass from inside the club is pounding and you can barely hear what they're saying except that the guy standing next to them is also TMZ and he's got a directional mic sticking out of his pocket pointed at them and when he gets into position you can hear Shane Hollander, like, fucking giggle.

"I'm sorry," Shane says, and his arms are around Ilya's neck. "I got--I'm a little drunk."

"It's okay," Ilya says, and he brushes a hand through Shane's hair. "Did you have fun?"

"Ye-s-s-s," Shane says, nodding his head decisively. "We won the Cu-p."

"Yes we did. I am proud of you."

"I'm proud of you!" Shane cups a hand around the back of Ilya's neck and giggles again into his shoulder. "Why aren't you drunk? I drank the same things as you--"

"I'm drunk," Ilya chuckles. "But I have twenty pounds on you and I am Russian, so."

"That's not a thing. That's not really a thing." Shane sighs and goes a bit boneless against Ilya's body and says, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have, uh--"

"Shh. You said you had fun, and this is all that matters. My beautiful winner." He kisses the side of Shane's face, loudly and repeatedly.

Shane makes a sound that Twitter, TikTok and Instagram comment sections will all agree is a purr.