Hiii. I'm Lon, or Lo, either works.
I'm mostly a writer, but this account is mostly yapping as of now. I have plans though...
Links: AO3, TikTok
No bigotry of any kind, I will block you. This includes supporting openly bigoted people. If you're not willing to stand up for people's rights, I don't want you here.
So long as you don't bring hate and respect boundaries, anyone is welcome. I don't care enough to make a DNI list, I'm a genderqueer really fw Maverique as a label idk I'm figuring it out lesbian and pagan witch who believes in human rights. You do the math.
Do NOT tag any of my works including the TMNT brothers, batfamily, Takeru and Yamato, Taichi and Hikari, the Sevilles, the Millers, or Sonic and Tails as romantic.
tagging revamps in progress! this blog is years old and I have a lot to sift through
fairy tail
digimon
alvin and the chipmunks || aatc
sonic the hedgehog
dc comics
tmnt || rottmnt
feel free to search for other characters, these are just the mains
lyon vastia, gray fullbuster
takeru takaishi
alvin seville, simon seville
miles "tails" prower, sonic (WIP)
tim drake, dick grayson
rottmnt: donnie, leo, raph, mikey, april, cassandra, casey jr
we refer to cassandra as casey here 🙏
I have older works but I'm not linking them because old. Longer summaries available on the actual fics. anything in blue is a part of you better show 'em why you talk so loud
Time: Now that Gray's returned from Tenrou, Lyon reflects on the past, the time he's lost with Gray, and how to move forward.
Last Ages: To save the future, Ultear casts Last Ages. Instead of taking her time, the spell takes her ability to manipulate it.
he remembers: Galuna Island retelling; growing up and realizing there was more to the story than you could understand as a child.
A Light to Call Home: self-indulgent Trans!Lyon fic
you better show 'em why you talk so loud: my Lyon au, his life, etc.
yappology: nonsense, chatting, literally whatever
lon talks: more serious conversations
lon writes: anything writing related, complaining, wips, etc
ledits: any edits, if you want to see them they're all posted on my TikTok
Activism and awareness: political or humanitarian issues
lo-nalyze: more lengthy, serious analyses and ramblings
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f!leo and present leo and their guilt complex, but the difference between them
f!leo was 38 years old (2022-44, right? yeah? I don’t feel like checking), has had years to step into his leader role and understand that he just made a stupid mistake. present leo, newly thrust into a leadership position and hasn’t quite found his footing, learned that he indirectly caused the apocalypse through a dumb mistake at 16, just an hour or two after, if that. chances are they didn’t know what the fuck the key was in the future timeline for a good while. by then, he would have had distance from the situation, better coping skills, age, understanding how young he was. sixteen is so, so young
present leo’s brothers don’t have much time to cope with the information, so they’re probably significantly angrier than their future counterparts were (raph in particular, where the frustration is still fresh and he didn’t have years to understand why leo was acting the way he was, since saw him turn into an amazing leader). i genuinely don’t think f!timeline anyone would blame him, not for how out of hand the apocalypse got. when it happened, leo stepped up. there was no way for him to have known the key was so important
and then present leo tried to fix it, raph got hurt protecting him, kidnapped, and taken over by aliens. then when he tried to fix that, he almost got his other two brothers killed by trying to take control of the situation (and, really, that was the leading style leo was accustomed through raph)—too much control, and gets lectured by casey learning his dumb mistake indirectly causes his brother’s deaths, without any context ad to what might have caused them. f!leo understands that the Krang issue spiraled far out of control quickly, there’s more to it then ‘they got the key and everyone died’, but that’s all present leo knows. it’s all his fault.
so he gets his shit together and listens to them, casey knew f!leo and the leadership style he developed, so present leo channels it, but the plan fails. he decides the only way to fix it is to sacrifice himself to save the world and his family. his brothers beg him not to do it, casey begs him not to, not wanting to lose him again (but p!leo isn’t f!leo, he’ll never be who casey is afraid of losing, he’ll never meet that expectation—) mikey (risks his life, Barron would presumably tell them, or casey eventually tells them what happened in the future) gets hurt to save him, just like raph, and donnie got hurt controlling the spaceship leo told him to—it’s all his fault
future leo is an adult, experienced a literal apocalypse, lost so many, made plenty more mistakes along the way and knows they’re inevitable, so you just have to learn from and move past them instead of letting them consume you. he has the luxury of time to learn these lessons, loses people one by one instead of the bomb being dropped on him all at once
present leo is so young, irrational, a teen who’s emotions are bigger than life and worldview is smaller—he’s just a child. he went through these lessons and trauma in the span of like. five hours. and then it was over. so it festers. it consumes him, and he sees how it consumes his brothers too (and everything that happened to them is his fault, because he’s not a good leader)
thinking about this as I work on a project. for ease's sake future leo is leonardo and present leo is leo
I don't even think the key in particular is what Leo would feel guilty for. I think the argument with Raph afterwards would bother him afterwards.
In Leo's defense, save the quip in the beginning which is just typical Leo behavior, during the fight with the Foot Clan he is taking it seriously. A moment that stands out to me is when Raph is telling them to retreat and Casey tells them they can't or things will get worse. Leo looks at him, like he's asking how he wants to proceed. Raph, already frustrated with Leo, brushes off the question thinking Leo is just. being Leo. He's not, he's listening, he's taking this seriously. It reminds me a lot of the S2 finale when Splinter thinks he's messing around but he isn't.
Afterwards he proceeds to go off the rails after Raph gets captured because his mental state is really. not great.
Raph got hurt--Krangified. Then he tries to fix it and Donnie and Mikey almost die because of it. Donnie merges with the technodrome, a part of the plan that doesn't even matter in the end, his plan traumatized his brother for no reason. Mikey saves him and gets injured because of it. He'll watch as his brothers struggles with the trauma of that afterwards (I mean Donnie and Mikey's injuries aren't confirmed but c'mon.)
His failures lead to the deaths of thousands in New York, lifelong injuries and trauma to the people he loves the most. Directly because of him, the key is more indirect if yk what I mean. Leo feels guilty for his inability to get things under control, not for losing it in the first place. It was his mistake, his plan, his saving. Things that wouldn't have happened if he was better. His inexperience shown through, which isn't his fault per say, but he has a lot of lessons to learn in leadership. Lessons he did learn, but not quick enough (after all, how could he?).
Leonardo sent Casey Jr, his student that he passed the lessons he learned over the course of his life, to the past. In a sense, he was sending a guiding light to Leo, someone who indirectly knows where he went wrong. Casey Jr was frustrated that Leo wasn't following the lessons his future self taught him, tells him what he needs to hear. Listen to your team, you don't have the answers and that's okay, that doesn't mean you're any less capable. You have a team so everybody's strengths can fill in other's weaknesses. Use them, and understand the weight your decisions carry (the weight of the lives that will be affected by it) and make them carefully. Yeah, it's delivered harshly, but that might have been the only way to get through to him, and 2 oh Casey Jr the poor kid.
I think he knows it's unfair to expect Leo to be Leonardo, but at the time of that scene he was a bit of a mental wreck. in a new timeline, everyone he knows is dead, died in front of him just hours before and he never had a chance to process it. but he's also staring them in the face, a younger face but their face nonetheless. I don't think he was in a great headspace but was well-trained to put that aside until he was out of the field, but it all came rushing out in his frustration. Casey has a more gentle personality most of the time, but the accumulation of stress, I think, led to his outburst (probably for the best, because Leo needed the tough love). casey jr my beloved you went through so much in the span of like. six hours
Leonardo was years older than Leo when he learned those lessons, eventually passed them on. He probably started off the apocalypse learning those things, too, but they didn't know how to stop the Krang, where the key was, etc. They had no way to know how to stop it before it was too late, Leo did, proves that with that knowledge he's able to save everything.
Leonardo isn't weighed down by his mistakes, no. He understands they're inevitable, that all you can do is get back up again. I think more than anything he would have some imposter syndrome. The guy had the entire Resistance on his back (with his team, yeah, but being leader has a certain type of pressure. he's the plan guy. he's signing off on every decision. it's his call), everyone was looking to him, only for his best efforts fail and fail again because of some unforeseen thing.
Knowing the past version of him and his brothers are capable of stopping the invasion would heal the part of him that replays how he could have done better over the years, the part of him that wonders if he was even capable of saving the world in the first place. He did the best he could with the information he had. If he had it all, things may have ended differently. But that was out of his control. It wasn't that he wasn't smart enough, he was missing vital pieces of the puzzle. Leo and their past selves weren't, and they did it.
Beyond that, he would respect the hell out of Leo for learning and growing so quickly. (I like to imagine Leonardo stumbled through the first years of the apocalypse, that Leo managed to get his feet on the ground a lot faster than Leonardo did at his age). You're not supposed to know how to save the world at 16, even if that expectation has been placed upon them. Not only did he know how to stop the Krang, be became the leader they needed to pull it off.
And don't get me wrong, Leonardo is tired from the apocalypse, weighed down by trauma and grief and the horror of everything he bore witness to, decisions he had to make, etc. But he's at peace with the role be played in it. In comparison, Leo ruminates on the mistakes he made all the time, is dealing with his own imposter syndrome. Berates himself every time the scars his brothers have make themselves known, because they're his fault. He didn't know that the Krang would rip Donnie out of the ship, that Mikey would get hurt saving him, these are things completely out of his control. None of them knew, could have known. (Not that Leo thinks his brothers would ever leave him behind if they can help it, he just didn't know they would be able to save him. That Raph was there, that Mikey would open a portal.)
In short to this long post: Leo He hates that his mistakes lead to awful outcomes even if he saved the world. How his decisions affected everyone weighs on him. He looks back with foresight of how he could have one better, much like Leonardo once did. But Leonardo understands that collateral happens, as awful as it is, that mistakes happen. He understands that Leo had a lot to learn and respects that he did. And the part of him that did look back on those mistakes, wonders if he was incapable of the position he was placed into in the first place, was silenced by his 16 year old self, who was able to save the world when he had the information Leonardo lacked at the time.
In terms of the key, Leo also places Leonardo's timeline onto himself. It all ended that way because of that dumb mistake. After seeing the Krang for himself, he knows there's no way they could have managed to defeat them. But Master Leonardo did, helped everyone through it, managed to raise Casey and formulate a plan to save the world. Leo looks at Leonardo and sees everything he isn't. Leonardo looks at Leo and sees everything they've always been capable of.
Leonardo was once Leo, had these same doubts, but he's grown up to face them. He just has to help Leo do the same--the last thing he wants is for Leo to go years without realizing, to torment himself like he did. Beyond seeing the good of them in Leo, Leonardo sees himself in Leo's mindset in the worst way; now, he understands that he never deserved the malice he treated himself with, and neither does the kid standing in front of him.
f!leo’s probably seen more than a few teenagers make dumb mistakes that resulted in their deaths. Kids he trained and raised. Kids he tried to protect. Kids he couldn’t save. Because they’re kids, kids make bad decisions, especially when they’re scared
I think he’d struggle most with the decisions he had to make. The people he sacrificed. A lot of survivors guilt. He knows why he needed to, there was no other option, but he hates that he had to become that person. He’s not sure how to come back from it and be someone who can afford to take a risk to save just one person again. He’s grew up in an unforgiving war, it shaped him. He’s not sure what he looks like without it. He hopes Leo will never have to become the person he had to to save the world
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Listen I will absolutely be giving my f!Leo a downward spiral and some asshole tendencies, but I will die on the hill that he is an overall positive character. Traumatized and bad at coping, yes, but speaking of hope as he watches the last of the Resistance he led die out.
After they get redeemed, i think they should stay close. Casey looked up to him, even if just a bit, and i think Draxum thinks Caseys amusing. He wanted child warriors and here is a child so ready to be a warrior- and shes extremely well trained, compared to the other kids (Caseys proficient in several weapons)
Also, we see Casey performing comolicated chalk spells all by herself in the s2 finale, the chalk spellcasting resembling the one Draxum performs. Appart from Mikey, the other turtles are still distrustful of Draxum, and Mikey n Casey have an episode that stablishes parallels between them. So it could be cool seeing Casey join Mikey as Draxums student in mystics
Imagine the powerhouse she'd be in battle in the apocalypse after a little training. Proficient in at least 5 weapons as well as martial arts, the entire brownie clan with her, im sure she could make origami soldiers plus added vines that Draxum could teach her and other spells? I wanna see her in action!!
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so like with the constant battle before (like with shredder) and the invasion (putting bad future aside but it also counts here) theres no way the boys all dont have combat ptsd right. there should be more angst of them being startled and reflexively attacking each other. imagine how loaded that'd be for raph especially
leo who sleeps with a blade under his pillow and draws it on one of them when they try to wake them up. mikey who struggles to regulate his ninpo post-portal accidentally freaking out and almost really hurting them because it just fires off. raph being startled and going for the throat when he is so so so much bigger than his little brothers. its juicy
Team Leader saying "Leave. That's an order." hits twice as hard, when they're the kind of person who hates hiearchies and avoids giving direct commands.
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