Maybe a post or two

He even says, at least in the japanese dialogue, Pyra should be more moe.

More specifically, their devotion to tier lists and individual characters they have deemed “top tier”, “low tier”, etc. even though the meta is constantly changing.

I found many times where I would ask about a matchup or what I did wrong in my set, or in a specific battle. 7 times out of 10 the person I asked would say “you chose the wrong character” or some variation of that statement.

“Don’t play that character”

“Play a top tier”

God that is probably the most infuriating response I could ever expect to get about improving. That doesn’t make me any better as a player, it just makes me frustrated. All that work I put into learning the strats and understanding the character feels worthless, which just puts me into a bad mindset. “Oh I just lost cause this character is bad” God what an irritating thought. And yet it still buzzes in my head.

I’m tired of being tired.

I’m tired of wanting to do something and then my body immediately reacts with fatigue and irritation.

Even if it’s talk to someone, or something that I’m passionate about.

I want to have interest.

I want to be excited and interested in what I do.

I want to be dedicated.

But I’m so tired.

I’m always wrong when it comes to politics, so I’m tired of politics. I’d like to not be wrong, but it doesn’t matter what my argument is, when my argument is, whether or not I’m actually right, I’m always wrong. So I’m tired. Political discussion makes me tired before I even engage in it.

I’m tired of being upset about things. I can’t be upset about things, I have a roof over my head. I have food to eat. I obviously am not allowed to be upset, it’d be unfair to those who are suffering with worse things. Nevermind the fact that these things I’m upset about stress me out, leave me with anxiety, no. I’m not suffering enough, too privileged to suffer. So I’m tired of being upset.

I want to learn a new skill. But everyone else is so far ahead of me. I can never be an innovator, everyone’s already done everything. I can’t program because I can’t think of ways to make things. So I’m tired of trying to learn.

I’m tired of speaking to people. Everyone reacts to words differently. When I speak, someone jumps on implications that aren’t there. People assume the worst. I tell people that’s not how I think, but it seems like nobody accepts it. When I tell a joke, it apparently needs to be deconstructed and I need to be told how wrong I am for telling it. Nevermind it was harmless, just poking fun inconsequentially. No, it’s gotta be blatant, otherwise it’s an argument I’m starting, not a joke. Nevermind I tell them flat out it’s a joke, it’s not meant for deconstruction. And yet if I get bothered by another’s jokes, I’m suddenly the one taking things too seriously. I’m the one in the wrong. So I’m tired.