half blood, prefect, THE brightest witch in her year (yes my girl hermione is still goated, work with me here), and the expected head girl for next year, except she seems to heavily dislike hufflepuff's golden boy

everyone knows it.

she's not hiding it, and poor, sweet, innocent cedric cannot figure out why.

he’s convinced.

he must have offended her, or else what could possibly explain her behavior.

so cedric spends all his time basically stalking her (that’s what it looks like to her)

however, the reason she hates him all stems from when they were first years. he borrowed a quill from her…and never gave it back.

it wasn’t her favorite, nor was it of superb quality, it was a spare quill she bought to lend and socialize with her peers. BUT they were supposed to return it and then she’d strike up a conversation and expand her network.

ickle wittle cedric had actually lost it, and like most 11 year olds do…he forgot he even borrowed a quill.

[Y/N] was on the verge of losing her mind–by mind she meant her grip on the urge to pummel this year’s first years. She swore she wasn’t this hard to handle as a first year, even a year full of Draco’s would’ve been preferable. She had been staying silent as Gideon, her male prefect-counterpart, insisted he could handle a couple of “puny kids”.

He was failing abysmally. 

Now, as the welcoming feast had come to an end, prefects of all houses were leading first years to their respective dorms–except Slytherin who seemed to have gained a year of rambunctious children. Having only made it to the foyer, where they were now running amok, [Y/N] had enough. 

“Have you no dignity?” [Y/N]’s voice echoed across the foyer, cold and poised. Everyone froze at the voice of authority, while those draped in green flinched at the tone. Slowly turning around and gathering in neat lines in front of the girl with her head lifted and back straight, the first years cowered. It was silent enough for a pin to drop, Penelope held her breath and Percy stared on (in what seemed to be poorly disguised affirmative support).

[Y/N] stood in front of the first years, the scene bringing flashbacks to those in upper levels, with an aura befitting her title of ‘Slytherin’s Empress’. 

“During your time at Hogwarts, your behavior no longer is a reflection of yourself, but of the house that has chosen you. You’d all do well to keep that in mind. Any more of this behavior unbefitting children, such as yourselves, will result in a deduction of points from me–personally.”

[Y/N] turned towards the dungeons, her words to “Follow along now.” trailing behind her. A horde of 11 year olds eagerly followed. 

Gideon, who had been cowering behind the first years, released his breath. He then turned towards Cedric, who had been watching on in amusement with poorly disguised affection, sweeping his hair to the side. 

“Rethink this mate, there’s no way you like her that much. I mean, come on, she just chewed out a couple of first years,” Gideon spoke exasperatedly.

The following scene was comical.

A Gryffindor almost fell from his position on the staircase above, whispers ran amok the Ravenclaws, but most importantly, the tiny yellow army behind Cedric stood with dropped jaws and eyes so wide it seemed they’d stay like that forever. 

Cedric chuckled, shrugging. He smiled cheekily, and said, “What can I do Gid, the heart wants what it wants.”

He walked away towards the kitchen with a restless group of baby badgers who were now yanking Cedric’s robes with an array of questions and comments, “Are you dating?” “Is she your girlfriend?” “She’s so scary!” “But she’s a Slytherin!” “She’s really pretty…”.

"Blimey he's lost it," Gideon muttered, fixing his robes. As he shook his head leisurely walking towards the dungeons, a voice reverberated across the walls,

“GIDEON FREY, GET DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!”

Gideon began sprinting. 

Meanwhile, Percy and Penelope had their hands full explaining that the Slytherin Empress and Hufflepuff’s Golden Boy were in fact not dating (yet).

“He’s liked her since first year. Pathetic, really, he’s like a golden retriever with the way he follows her around.” Percy explained, indulging in a short moment of gossip. Before beginning his lecture to the first years on the importance of inter-house relations, and of course the importance of studying–the first years ignored that last part.

“That’s right, he has a crush on her! It’s been going on for quite a long time too, but I suspect they’ll begin dating this year, as she’s quite fond of him,” Penelope responded to her group. After all, Ravenclaw had been the ones to organize the bet on their relationship. (Contrary to popular belief, the house of Ravenclaw were the ones who ran the illegal gambling ring at Hogwarts, not the Slytherins.)

“We’re not dating, so she’s not my girlfriend…yet” Cedric clarified to the first years, smiling widely. “She’s not that scary, in fact, she’s probably comforting her first years, explaining what she really meant.” He tapped on the barrels, entering the common room “Yes, she is a Slytherin.” Then, as they stood in the warm space, Cedric turned, “She’s quite pretty, isn’t she,” he sighed. 

‘What a whipped loser,’ the first years all agreed unanimously.

the most hormonal time of their life and they are with other horny teens...

like yes there are heavy parties and shagging in broom closets is soooo normalized but the reason why the faculty has honestly given up on trying to cut down on teenage horniness is 100% because they had a freaky ass couple who did not care about getting caught

now snape just has condoms in his office, mcgonagall has contraceptives next to pads in her drawer, madame pomfrey has an entire cabinet full of everything for safe sex

it's first year and you're nervous about being at hogwarts and for some reason have a fear of the sorting hat (wdym it reads your mind and makes the biggest decision of your life)

all of a sudden the mousy haired boy you were in the same boat with, notices your anxiety and whispers in your ear that "it won't hurt you, my mummy said that he's really nice :)"

then he gets sorted into hufflepuff and as he gets off the stool he makes sure to look you in the eyes with a bright smile and eyes that radiate "it didn't hurt, everything will be fine"

and as you get called up, he's pleading with the hat to sort you in hufflepuff, all while the voice poking around in your head mumbles about "lovebirds" and "bloody eleven year olds and their wishes"

and the sorting hat purposely puts you in a different house, so pining can happen (it's also another way to promote inter house relationships)