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Theon of Pyke and Winterfell

Thanks to sum-42 for her art that inspired me!

Les amis line up! + close ups!

Post it on Twitter some months ago and forgot to post it here 😔 so here yall go !!

The full list of songs is under the cut. They’re listed in the order they appear in the books, and include quotes from the book and links to the songs on youtube.  I’ve also compiled all the the songs on playmoss. 

Oooh, let's see! I think that's a yes for sure on some of them. Let's just go down the main cast one by one, shall we?

Jonathan - Yes. Hamlet's his blorbo so he obviously isn't averse to tragic stories, and I honestly love the idea of Jonathan being into gothic romances. Not that this is that, but there's enough overlap that when Mina suggested it to him he'd enjoy it. He gets really sad about how it all went wrong.

Mina - Yes. I think science fiction is very much her taste, as is spooky/tragic stories. This is both, it's great! She really enjoys the nuance and complexity of the characters. It's maybe even a favorite of hers.

Lucy - No. She doesn't like spooky stories, necromancy-adjacent anything is too much for her. The tragedy doesn't necessarily bother her too much (she enjoys crying over a good story from time to time) but everything about how the Creature is made creeps her out too much and she doesn't want to read about it or what comes after.

Arthur - No. Rather, it's possible he may have read it but it's generally not the sort of story he likes so if he ever did it would have been because of a class or at the urging of Jack, and he never got into it. He likes funny stories and adventures more.

Quincey - Yes. In large part because my initial impulse was to say no, and Quincey strikes me as the kind of guy who happens to have read all the stuff you assume he never would've read, haha. But also, I think he just really enjoys a good story. Regardless of genre, if it's well-written he'll give it a go and often really enjoy it.

Jack - Yes. I think he read it a sleep-deprived frenzy in school while he was supposed to be studying and ever since has had occasional recurring dreams of trying to give Victor and the Creature therapy.

Renfield - Yes. He's very well-read. His sympathies used to be for Victor but after being in an asylum they tend more towards the Creature since he understands now how dehumanizing it can feel to be looked at as Other or Monstrous.

Dracula - Yes. He considers it a comedy.

A romance between Dracula and literally any other character

An origin story for the lady vampires

A feature length adaptation of the Demeter plot (yes, I know this exists already, it deserves more adaptations)

A Dracula origin story set at the Scholomance

Mina and Jonathan going into that "unknown and terrible land" together

Dracula deciding that, rather than just murdering people, he can offer sex in exchange for blood, and chooses to go to London to do this because the locals will not be receptive. He awkwardly tries to ask Jonathan about prostitution in London and Jonathan's proper gentleman sensibilities are affronted

Dracula gets committed to Seward's asylum, somehow

Dracula gets stuck in wolf form and gets adopted by one of the protagonists

Dracula and his ladies go to Van Helsing, expert on the occult that he is, to ask for help trying to conceive

The Crew of Light try to imprison Dracula rather than destroy him, theorizing that, if they can find a way to cure him, everyone he's turned will be cured

Dracula's sexy immortal vampire harem kicking him out of his own castle because they're sick of his shit

Dracula and Van Helsing as bitter exes

The solicitor who gets sent to Dracula is now Gabriel John Utterson, hoping for a nice relaxing vacation after all the Dr. Jekyll business

Sherlock Holmes, somehow

Dracula marries Mrs. Westenra

Dracula is in the Wild West and gets attacked by vampire hunting cowboys

Dracula being so creeped out by Renfield's obsession and vows of servitude that he flees to another country (to which Renfield follows him)

Who goes there...,,

If you want eroticism and sexuality inspired by the book... Where are the post-transfusion make-outs, where is the giving mutual relief in grief? Where is the collective horniness from the proximity of death or worse? Where is the cabin fever in the asylum, the Orient Express, the Varna hotel? The comfort sex, the 'practicing for our husbands' sex. The threesomes? The guilty, dangerous semi-vampire sex as the clock is ticking? Where is Harker on his knees tipping the velvet like a starving madman, or the wedding night on a hungarian sickbed under the crucifix with the bride riding her broken man, paralleling the vampires on him while supine? Where is any desperate goodbye sex between all those people whose blood has mingled? Notice I mentioned no Dracula or Brides, and rarely specified names, because those could fit most of them.

Or is that too bisexual when it's not 0.5 seconds of girls kissing?

Yeah, I have a lot of complex opinions about the sexually charged underpinnings of this novel, and I swear to fuck, it's just you and me and @bluecatwriter's cohort against the fucking world somehow.

Like, come on, even if you truly want to keep it mono-hetero, the Harkers are never more than 10 seconds away from fingerblasting in the sitting room. Their entire marriage has been a nonstop stress parade and their limbic systems are at max 100% of the time from their wedding to the end of the novel, and you expect me to believe they aren't in a constant embrace? Really?

They're late victorians, that's a culture that was just beginning to really get Freaky With It after a century of repression!!! Those bitches only don't have matching nipple chain piercings because Jack hasn't gotten around to it as they've all been busy.

It makes no sense!! This novel is rife with messy, intimate, emotionally rich, sexually charged relationships between every significant character (yes, even Dracula much as I am loathe to admit it), and EVERY adaptation INSISTS this is not the case and that they must "fix" it by adding a "sex is demonic" subplot.

1 getting called bitchless by his old college teacher in front of his crush (who rejected him)

2 sitting on his hat before confessing to said crush

3 playing with a bloodletting knife while confessing to appear cool. crush said the way he did that almost made her scream

4 referring to himself as 'your pet student' in front of his old college teacher and asking to become it once again

5 overestimating the strength needed to break down a door with a few others and falling headlong into the room

6 calling one of his patients his 'pet lunatic' (he uses a phonograph as a diary, which means he had to say that OUT LOUD)

7 when he used a ladder to cross a wall while a man 30 years older than him effortlessly climbed it

8 getting his ear pulled by his college teacher as if hes still a student

9 being absolutely BEWILDERED after one of his patients had a positive reaction to someone being nice to him

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