there's just something about bluestar that makes me so sad that i feel kind of nauseous when i'm thinking about her too hard
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@loachwhisker
there's just something about bluestar that makes me so sad that i feel kind of nauseous when i'm thinking about her too hard

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it would be cool to remember literally any of my own oc lore
i've started crying about warrior cats. is this what being in your mid 20s is like
it's so stupid though i'm not a big crier it's literally ONLY *big* stress, And Warrior Cats. wtf.
i love poasting wips yayyyyyy ayayyyyy
aaaaaahhhhhhhHHHHH i hate ai why can't i look up cat reference pictures without one william ai generated fucko photos i HAVE them all BLOCKED

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i mean the hollyleaf amv literally writes itself
hollyleaf entering the bad day vortex voice: boy sure hope i don't have a bad day :3
loachwhisker may be my icon but he's fairly boring i just like his name and think he's pretty his niece shimmerpaw is way cooler. what if you were a doctor and you were like ok at it but you were also supposed to be the person who told them what god meant by that and you were just so dogshit at it to the point where several people died because you got it wrong and also everyone's house got destroyed :3
the agonies are ever present and largely self inflicted
well at least there are cats

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wahhhhh story boarding is story BORINGGGGG idea should fall out of my mind fully formed on the page
i do like how long shadows tries to set up the expectation that squirrelflight could have been the one to kill ashfur. like. walking into camp late, soaking wet covered in mud, while ashfur is also conspicuously missing and about to be found dead in a stream? i have to say that would have convinced me squirrelflighr did it as a kid if i didn't read them with the knowledge it was hollyleaf
actually hey. modest mouse edit the sad parts hollyleaf amv when
i've started crying about warrior cats. is this what being in your mid 20s is like
when i can be bothered to do so i have evil plans to make a warriors cat oc storyboard using modest mouse The Whale Song, and it will fuck severely

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when the fuck did i rename this place loachwhisker anyways wasn't i shrewbite before
idk i feel like when she killed ashfur she wasn't even really meaning to do it like, i feel like hollyleaf was maybe just like going on a nighttime stress walk to that stream and it wasn't premeditated she just fucking Got Him and didn't even realize what she did until his body was still. maybe it specifies how planned it was in the books and i just don't remember but <3 i also don't care
@carnybytes was going to just reply in the comments but i got too wordy and started pulling out other books on top of it so i'm doing it as a reblog instead. which may be utterly incomprehensible, to warn you.
yessssssssss yes. i don't HATE the idea of it being something she had planned but i think it's more interesting if it's less of a plan on her end and more of just. being a thought experiment until it stops being one. i need there to be some impulsivity in here. she can think about it but with the caveat that i don't think that she was Thinking About It. urgh.
which is to say that. i think the way hollyleaf is thinking about it is by trying her best to not think about it at all, at least consciously, but inwardly there may have been a lot of 'but if i WANTED to kill another cat, or NEEDED to, this is how i would do it'
if she was considering it in advance i just don't think she could have admitted it to herself that that was what she was doing, while she was doing. i think having it as something she's planned only works if she has ways to make herself believe that what she was doing wasn't planning.
in steinbecks The Winter of Our Discontent, the lines "Is there anyone who has not wondered about the decisions and acts and campaigns of the mighty of the earth? are they born in reasoning and dictated by virtue or can some of them be the products of accidents, of daydreaming, of imagining, of the stories we tell ourselves?.." "...Little by little the game grew, but entirely in the mind until this morning." appear and i just. idk. i feel like TWoOD is a very hollyleaf book.
i have many thoughts on this aspect of her character many of which are contradictory and it makes me feel like i'm squeezing a rock in my fist--- it feels like there's some give to it, but it's just the sensation of my skin molding around the rock.