Talk Nerdy to Me

The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious

it's thousand yard stare summer

my ultimate fantasy is to have a brain and body that allows me to enjoy being alive

Actually I do not feel snug as a bug in a rug I feel uptight as a mite in a fight

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

Are they like..... Yknow.... [Goes to do a hand gesture but forgets I'm a wizard and I accidentally cast Lv50 lightning bolt]

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

Its so beautiful that cats have their own special weed. Mother nature rewarding them for being the best animal

If only there were an easier way.

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself