fckGarçons, except one.♡

I miss you so much...

I had plenty last night & after I would wake up wishing they were real...they weren't. 😞 I miss you so much...

I've noticed something strange last night I told myself I wasn't going to set an alarm because I wanted to sleep, I wanted to ignore the pain I had but I was unsure which one hurt more...my ankle or my heart. But this morning I woke up at exactly at 7:37am and so did I yesterday...I don't understand why though maybe he's thinking of me and missing me right when he's going to go into work. I feel so down and I wish I could just tell him how much he means to me...I hope I don't wake up at 7:37am tomorrow it breaks my heart and I don't know how much longer I can take it

He apologized and made me understand he only had eyes for me but it hurt and I couldn't ignore the pain..I wanted to be happy with him again but I just couldn't...I never looked into his eyes again after that day of the conflict...my heart burned every time I did.

All I was able to think of was the good times, like that time when I helped him with his shape up or that time I dropped the ice cream he had bought me after I said No,thank you. I remembered every single little memory I had with him. - that invite that changed our life. - walking around the piers talking about our heartbreaks. - counting windows because I was too nervous to admit I liked that kiss he gave me the day before. - thinking about every time he said he "really really liked me" - That time at Virginia when I randomly kissed his shoulder. - those nights at his house tickling me non stop. - those random car Rides to just talk about our feelings. - going to sleep at 3 in the morning because a few hours together wasn't enough - the first time he told me he loves me and I asked to repeat and blushing changed the conversation. I had remembered every single memory I'd made with him, I wanted to forget what I read but it was hard. He was my perfect guy, HE IS MY PERFECT GUY. If I could meet him again, I would. I...miss...you more than you could ever imagine.

Exactly this time last week 1:59 is read something on his phone that broke me apart...messages I wish I never read. Each word I read was burning me inside, destroying the little piece of trust I had left in me...it got destroyed.

Looked at my thighs today and I found those pinch marks you left me...I hope they stay there forever 😢...I miss you.

I wanna be as tough as my heart has been...he gets used and thrown into the garbage and it still finds a way to beat and keep me alive. 😢😢

Madly in love but they're too stubborn to let each other know.

Confidence is the key to a happier you

People constantly say to me " why you wanna be skinny when you're already skinny " I don't wanna be skinny at all ! I do this as a lifestyle, to grow muscle, to feel good & look good & if you think that's wanting to be skinny you're far from right. Don't try and bring me down, not now....not ever.

You know what hurts the most, when you have to show the world a happiness you don't feel at all

I wanna be with someone who questions why am I buying 5 cups of coffee & when I respond it's for the homeless he says; " let me get some donuts, too."

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....the memory Game.... #photography #nyc #blackandwhite #cats #roses #paisajes #memories #wallofFame #wallsofTumblr