approach at your own risk

“Would you believe me if I said this was like this when I got here?”

"Not at all. Though I'm kind of impressed with what you have managed to do."

“So you either have a really boring definition of fun, or a really exciting one. But the real question is do you get which version I’m referring to?” Jack raised a brow at Noah. He took a drag from his cigarette and looked at the man for a moment longer. Took him all over thirty seconds to shrug his shoulders and pull out another fag and his lighter. “True. But it would be easier to just ask.” As he spoke his cigarette bobbed up and down between his lips. 

"You are obviously referring to the "adult" kind, which is the really exciting one," Noah replied, with the tone of someone stating the obvious. "You literally said that at the start of the conversation," he pointed out, just to be obnoxious. He took the cigarette gratefully and lit up, trying not to cough on his first drag. He hadn't had a cigarette in a while. "Easier to ask, but more fun to play games with you instead."

“It is general knowledge unless you work here. They aren’t bad cooks at all, everyone has their own way of cooking things. Not every dish on the menu is going to be great either, there’s bound to be several things that just don’t top the rest.” Mira pointed out.

Noah let out a huff of air in an approximation of a laugh. “At least you’re honest,” he said, appreciating it. Noah hated it when people sugar coated things. “I’ll have the buffalo chicken wrap, then,” he said, closing the menu. “The whatever it comes with is fine.” 

“Well I was talking about two different versions of fun. One being a kid kind and the other an adult kind. But now you have me wondering what is your definition of fun?” He noticed the way that Noah looked at his cigarette in his mouth and raised a brow. “Is that your jedi mind trick version of trying to get me to give you one?”

"My definition of fun is for everyone's guess," Noah said, pretending to be aloof and mysterious. It might have worked on some, but most knew Noah's vices were as normal as everyone else's. A smoke and some booze and he was as happy as he got. "It's not a jedi mind trick if it doesn't happen without a discussion. But if you're offering, I won't turn you down."

“You know what the worst thing ever is?” Rochelle asked, hardly pausing before continuing. “Tourists. Honestly, they just ask stupid ass questions like ‘will an alligator eat me if I get in this boat?’ Like, fuck, what do they think we feed them to keep them around? Meat’s expensive.” She finished with a cackle, knocking back another shot.

"Honestly? Tourism is a scam anyway, so they're obviously stupid enough to do what they're told. It'd make for some great entertainment," Noah hummed, taking a sip of his beer. "The gators nipping at their feet, hah," he added, fending off the urge to make snapping noises with his hands.

Jack took a sip of his tea before setting it down on the cafe table and leaning back in his. “Just in case you were wondering, the best part about having a kid live with you is they are always down to have fun. However, the worst part about having a kid live with you is that you can’t always have fun,” he remarked as he removed a cigarette from the carton in his pant pocket. Grateful they’d chosen to sit outside on account that he was really jonesing for a smoke.

“I think you and I have a vastly different definition of fun,” Noah said, taking a sip of his coffee, made black as his soul. Just the way he liked it. What he didn’t appreciate were the loud screams and messy stickiness of little children. “Kids might always be “down to have fun,” but it usually results in a mess. The cigarette, on the other hand...,” he trailed off, wondering if he’d be able to bum one off Jack. “is something I can understand a little better.”

Sensing he must have hurt the other guy’s feeling Hart sobered. “Ah, man. Come on,” he drawled, “I wasn’t trynna to mean I swear. I really am sorry for laughing. Though it’s good to laugh at yourself from time to time when you goof.” Hart chuckled, “I know I’m guilty of it.” He crouched down to start helping the guy pick up his stuff.

“I don’t really care if you were being mean or not,” Noah sighed. “I care that this happened. To me, of all people.” He shook his head, put resigned himself to putting his bag back together. At least he had some help. “It’s fine. Laugh all you want; I would at someone else,” he shrugged. “Laughing at myself is another matter.”

“I—I’m s-sorry,” Hart said between laughs, “This isn’t funny at all, but I can’t seem to stop myself.” He was genuinely trying to stop laughing but it would seem it was the only way his brain could handle the situation.

Noah looked over balefully, looking at all the shit that had fallen out of his bag. Did he really need all this stuff? No. Was he obligated to pick it all up like a loser who’d been caught by a bully? Yep. Cool, he thought. “It would be funny only if it happened to someone else,” he spat, mood sour. 

“Trust me, don’t order it.” She talked across the table, shaking her head. Mira worked at Grace’s Diner. That meant she knew all the tricks, and what was actually decent to eat. Today was her off day, and usually, you wouldn’t catch the blonde eating there when she wasn’t working. “Their burgers are good as well as their sandwiches and wraps. Salads are too bad either– honestly, it depends on who the cook is for the day.” With that she cocked her head over her shoulder, trying to see who she could spot through the open window of the kitchen.

Noah raised an eyebrow as someone deigned to interject on his lunch choices. He’d been eyeing the chicken, but he also didn’t want to eat something disgusting. He wasn’t as familiar with this part of town as he was closer to home, so he hadn’t dined at ... what was it? Grace’s Diner? He shook his head, taking a breath before answering, “Thanks, I guess. Not that I asked. Most places are dependent on who’s cooking, I thought that was general knowledge.” He watched as she tried to peek into the kitchen, rolling his eyes. Maybe a wrap did sound good today.