Existential Crisis Forever

I thought I could control my feelings this time. Yeah fucking right. You don’t deserve me but you’re always on my fucking mind. I need a solid distraction. Or at least someone who won’t make me feel like less of a person because they don’t want me all the time. I do great things for people who do not deserve it and receive nothing in return. Is this growing up? Cause being pissed off at someone that I can’t even explain I’m pissed off at really seems like teenager shit. Im straight angry. Why the fuck don’t I deserve that special type of love that everyone seems to experience even once? And why do I feel the need to think that I’ll only be fully happy once I have a significant other? Fuck all the guys who broke my heart and fuck myself for allowing them too. I’m sick of hurting and craving something that just isn’t in the cards right now. Guess I’ll go fuck myself.

you think you could work with someone else??????

I see things that I shouldn’t care about but I care. Fuck. I’m single. I don’t actually care. Just fucking kidding.

It’s been a full year since I’ve made, in my opinion, one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I wish I could say that I don’t regret being with you but GOD I DO. To the point where I’m beginning to hate you. I wish I could just somehow get you out of my life. Even just temporarily. There’s no escaping you, or the thoughts that put my into a state of disarray whenever you’re around. Even online there’s no escape. Fuck you dude. Fuck. You. And by “fuck you” I mean I wish I never [fuck]ed you.

Saying all the wrong things. Knowing it’s always the wrong time. Still want to fuck?