A Viking By Any Other Name

Ladies always be like, “I shaved my clitoris for THIS?”

Eat the booty like laundry Eat the booty like taxes Eat the booty like life insurance Eat the booty like Cellino and Barnes Injury Attorneys 1-800-888-8888

You know how when you’re in a relationship, you have to tell everyone half-truths about your new partner and make things up to make them sound interesting, because in all reality they’re really not? Going to try something crazy next time: Dating someone who is actually stand-alone interesting.

And she was never really invested in the relationship at all. You know how sometimes people get emotionally distant if they think a breakup is coming so it’ll hurt less? Yeah, she was like that for *six months*. The entire duration of the relationship. I mean, good luck getting over your trust issues, but I’m so glad to be out of it.

I remember how bad it felt lying to everyone and saying “we fight a lot.” Because it was never “we,” it was “she.” She fought a lot. All the trivial shit in her life got taken out on me. Any time she was frustrated - with work, with family, didn’t sleep enough, whatever it was - she was going to get in a pissy mood later that day and make sure I felt as bad as she did.