c e o

      “including me? of course including me, silly,” kara quickly replies. after all, that’s what best friends do for each other, right? she would do absolutely anything and everything for her very first best friend, winn schott. his happiness meant everything to kara and she made sure to try and foster that as much as she could if and when the situation allowed and now – now that he’s gone? it seems like she’s a little lost without his guidance and little toy figurines littering both her apartment and the deo. it was normally his advice that helped her keep her friendship with lena on track. now it’s all on her shoulders and she’s unable to stop the full steam ahead attitude that seems to have befallen her lately. 

“well, that’s – well, that’s a fair assumption,” kara laughs, the small movement causing her glasses to slip down her nose a little. she quickly pushes them back with a flour covered digit, cheeks darkened all the while. “it’s not like alex and i are super bad at cooking, we just – our talents lie elsewhere, is how eliza would put it.” more accurately, alex’s talents lie with punching people and kara’s is stumbling over every day actions that the average human would normally perform with ease. “but yes, thank you!” she flops a hand through the air, clearly ecstatic with the positive review. “slow and steady wins the race, right? it worked for the tortoise, so why wouldn’t it work for the danvers?” she laughs again and shakes her head at her own words. she’s pretty sure if alex was still here she’d either roll her eyes or throw a spatula at her head. “i’m sure that, with your input and science-y brain, we’ll have this cracked in no time.”

“you’d be saving me a lot of grief,” kara attempts to joke, though the grin on her face softens to that of a small yet intimate smile; a smile that only really seems to appear around the youngest luthor. as she watches the liquid disappear from the glass, kara can’t help but frown a little. is something wrong? unable to help herself, she attempts to calm her thoughts and still the air around her as she fine tunes her hearing in the hopes of figuring out why lena would be acting so weird. all she hears, however, is the slightly fast beat of her heart. well, the rate she’s downing that wine seems to be a fair enough explanation for that. kara makes a mental note to slowly move the wine away from her friend before it can get worse. oh, kara. how dense you are. “oh, uh – start again. right. the baking.” kara quickly nods and moves the dirty plates from the table and drops them into the sink. “it’s okay, i can clean everything later. you don’t have to do that – i have some other bowls and stuff in one of the cupboards – gimme a sec…” she darts to the other side of the room and rummages around before returning with about five or six bowls. “will these do?”

       the blush is helpless now. nothing lena can do will calm it down. she’s close to saying fuck it and allow kara to hear and see whatever she wants. her fingers tremble slight as she nears the sink. her fingers curl into the porcelain and she lets out a shaky breath. “good to know.” she mumbles it softly and doesn’t bother to turn around to look at kara. and maybe her energy is strange, but she’s exhausted and not even close to drunk enough to start unpacking the way she feels. not now. not in kara’s kitchen. muffins. blueberry muffins. 

      lena finally turns around with a smile plastered on her face. she’s sure it might be a little hollow, but it’s not entirely false. it’s hard to fake anything with kara. she’s never felt she’s had to. it’s her own head yelling at her and she’s pushing it down with little success. “listen, i can’t exactly say anything about it. i have no idea how to cook. but baking is science.” she feels the blush deepen and she shrugs with an air of nonchalance. “slow and steady is the way to go. i can’t fault the logic. so you’re doing just fine. perfection takes practice.” she takes another sip from the wine and sighs as it slides down her throat. “me and you together? we’re quite the team. i think we could figure anything out together.” she raises and eyebrow as she whispers the words conspiratorially. 

      “sunshine… i like the sound of that,” kara dips her head and smiles to herself. a part of her, however, feels torn at the statement. if only lena luthor knew how partially correct that statement is. yes, kara danvers is not the sun, but her alter ego is powered by it. everything that she is, everything that she’s become, it’s because of that burning ball of gas in the sky. it takes a little time for her to realise that the term sunshine on earth means happiness - bright, colourful and a torch to light the way. back on krypton, she never really had that. it’s the little things like that, earth’s strange musings, that always makes something inside tug. “oh no, i wouldn’t want to put more work into george’s lap,” she bites her lip, knowing full well that lena is already going to instruct the man regardless of how many times kara can say no. he’s a kind man, someone that kara has only met on occasion, and that alone is enough to not want him to stress out by running inconsequential errands on her behalf. “i think everyone should live to make you happy,” she then says, not truly understanding the way her words could be misconstrued. all she knows is that lena deserves the world, and kara just wants her to be happy – even if it’s through her driver.

baited breath awaits as ice blues switch between the youngest luthor and the muffin in hand. she knows they’re not the best, she and alex spent the first hour or so trying to get the first and second batch to work – which, in hindsight, was not the best idea that both danvers could have had. kara’s cooking and baking skills are as basic as they come, but alex? alex could burn water if she tried hard enough. thankfully, the older danvers ducked out when she remembered date night with maggie. “really? that’s – that’s great,” kara beams some more. “i mean, if you’re not busy, that is? i wouldn’t want you to miss anything important…” she tucks her bottom lip between her teeth as she bounces from one foot in the other, not-so-secretly hoping that lena has a few hours free… at least. “lena luthor, you are the smartest person i know, how could i not know that by now?” she laughs. then, after a pause and midway around the table, kara’s lips form a sheepish grin. “please don’t tell alex i said that.”

      “i was hoping you would.” her voice dips as she says it. it comes out flirty and if lena cared more, she might clear her throat and try to shuffle to another topic. but it’s hard when she sees the smile on kara’s face because she is sunshine. every part of her is bright even when she’s sad or upset. those times make lena’s heart break a little because she wants nothing more in the world to make her smile. she’s sunk to making silly faces and poking her tongue out in the hopes of making kara danvers smile. and then kara says something that makes her stomach flip and suddenly she can barely breathe. everyone should live to make you happy. the nerves hit her like a ton of bricks and if it was anyone else, lena would be running. but she’s selfish, one of her more fatal flaws. especially selfish when it comes to kara. “including you?” her voice raises slightly with anxiety. she clears her throat and finally stands up.

      “kara, please.” she walks towards the door and slips out of her heels. she leaves them in a messy pile. she knows they’re took expensive to leave tilted over, but she can’t seem to care. not when her best friend’s warmth is calling to her. she sighs in relief as her feet are free -- head tilted back as she groans. “there’s nothing more important than being here with you and getting these muffins right. i’m honestly surprised you and alex didn’t burn down your apartment in the process. very surprised, but proud. you guys are getting better.” not that lena cooks much. someone has always done it for her. but she does like baking. baking is science and science makes sense for her. recipes can’t be improvised, each measurement exact and that is easy. 

      “no no,” kara waves off the idea that this could be grief baking. the good thing about it being months later is that kara has come to terms with the thing that had weighed her down the whole of last year. no more mon-el, no more imra, and definitely no more reign. it’s all over and done with, and now - now she can breathe again. so no, definitely not grief baking. “i was just trying something new out, i can promise there’s nothing sad behind this. well, other than the end result, but i’m getting there. i think…” she smiles, eyes slightly crossing as she watches lena brush away the floor that coated her cheek. “yes, i’m aware, but at least it’s a good mess, right? at least, it’ll be once i crack the recipe.”

“you know i always have something ready to offer out,” she makes her way over to the fridge and pauses when her hand wraps around the handle, a small thought pushing it’s way to the front, “though i think alex just finished the last beer. uh…“ she glances around the items then back to lena. “i have wine or orange juice. i should really restock, but… yeah.” she retrieves both options and two glasses then rests them on the counter between the two of them. “oh, uh…” she wipes her hand against her pants leg and pushes a piece of paper closer to lena. “i finally got eliza to crack and send me the recipe to her amazing blueberry muffins, but every time i try and make them, well…” she flaps both hands at her sides, indicating the state of the kitchen area and herself. “you can, yes, but i definitely don’t take the blame if they taste horrible,” kara wrinkles her nose, though she waits expectantly. after all, lena’s opinion is more important than even she knows.

       blueberry muffin finally in her hand, she tears off a piece before looking back at kara. “you’re never a bad mess. i don’t think you could be even if you tried. you’re like... sunshine, kara danvers.” she lifts her eyes with a soft tease before she finally places the bit of muffin into her mouth. she’s careful with her bright red lipstick and chews. the texture is interesting, but it doesn’t taste bad. it’s more of a mouth feel thing. “i think wine will do. if we need to restock, i can send my driver out for more beer or wine. he doesn’t mind. george lives to make me happy.” she blinks a few times with a soft, wistful smile on her face. 

      after everything that’s happened, what with mon-el and winn now in the future and brainiac-5 in the present, kara doesn’t really know what to do with the free time that’s now on her hands. she’s been helping alex out as much as she can, but there’s only so much help she can give the new director of the deo, and she doesn’t want to step on her sister’s toes. sure, supergirl is a great help, but on the days she’s not needed? she’s struggling to find a place that she can settle into and come into her own. she’s done it several times before - she had to do it when she first moved to midvale, and then again when she followed alex to national city, not to mention when she found her calling as a reporter. of course, all of that is important to her and she’s trying to give all of that precedence in her life again. she’s just… wondering if she should.

after all, how much of her life should be kara, and how much should be supergirl? she’s never been good at finding that balance. 

with all that in mind, kara is constantly trying to busy herself. today, she just so happens to be once again trying to recreate eliza’s infamous blueberry muffins. three batches later and she’s still not achieved anything near what the finished product is supposed to look like. she’s about to start a fourth batch when she hears someone knock at the door. kara squints and the world ahead falls away and she can see through the door and walls to find someone standing there - not just someone, but her best friend. she quickly grabs her glasses and shoves them on as she hurries to tug the door open.

“lena, hi!” she offers a large grin and steps back to allow her passage. “you just missed alex – everything okay? how – how are you?” she slowly swings the door shut once her friend is inside then dusts off some flour that coats one of her sleeves. though, it seems like a wasted effort considering both she and the kitchen area is completely covered. “ignore the mess. i was… apparently not creating a masterpiece. would you like a drink?”

      kara’s energy, like always, is infectious. she can’t help but smile back as she slips inside her apartment. her eyes take in the kitchen, flour coating ever surface, even her best friend. she shakes her head. “i hope this isn’t grief baking and more boredom baking.” she slips out of her coat and purse and hands them on the coatrack near the door. she reaches up once she faces kara to wipe some flour off her cheek. “you’re a mess, you know that right?” she can’t help the playful roll of her eyes as she says it. it’s always so easy to slip into their banter as soon as they see one another. all the nerves and the steady uptick of her heart rate, don’t matter. not now. 

       the elevator doors slide open in kara’s building. she steps out into the hallway and hesitates. it feels like coming home. she can’t remember the last time she was in her best friend’s apartment. maybe with sam. maybe with all the girls drinking wine and swapping stories. stories that seemed happy and almost too good to be true. but so much has happened in the last few months that lena isn’t even sure if those memories are really. it’s almost as if they belong to someone else, somewhere else. 

      saving sam was the best and most satisfying thing. lena did something good. even with the idea that she had poisoned children (fuck morgan edge) or that she had somehow betrayed supergirl (kara?), she still managed to do something good. she wasn’t lex or lillian. she was more than her last name, even if she was still a luthor. not just adopted. half luthor and half... who knew? but kara never lost faith in her. as far as she knew. she only had a mild suspicion of supergirl’s real identity and sometimes things clued her in, but it wasn’t her place to confront. kara had believed in her when no one else did. she defended her. she stood up for her. she came back around and never lost faith. the what if’s... lena couldn’t fucking deal with those. not when she feels like she’s spiraling.

      because there’s always been something there. on her side anyway. even when kara was with mon el. even when jack slipped back into her life. lena always wanted to be near kara. she hadn’t bought catco because it was a good investment. she did that for kara. she didn’t fill her office with flowers as a thank you. it was because she fought to find a reason not to kiss her best friend.