I havenāt posted here since a year ... And a lot happened in a year. I donāt even know where to start. I was so happy to have my class for the year and my own apartment. All of that went great. I couldnāt travel a lot because of covid and really miss that... It was really hard with anorexia at first but then, it went better. Iām not fully recovered but almost now. And ... I met someone. I met a man. He was great. He was perfect. I felt in love. He was kind, smart, good looking, caring, he was all I was wishing for. But. But he broke me. He is what we call here a āpervert narcissiqueā. He come and go, he took all my energy, my positivity, my strength because he needs it, like a vampire. He manipulates me into whatever he wants to. He lies. He harasses me, then throws me and disappears. He comes back, acting like he told me he would hurt me. But each time I go away he comes back to take me. He always comes back. And he takes me in his arms and ... And feeling him make me fall back each time. When my body touches his nothing matter anymore, all the pain disappears. And then I think it will be better, that he is a good person, he loves me and when he will be ready we will be together and everything will be fine. But no, itās been 9 months and nothing change. Itās always the same. He is my neighbor, he lives upstairs two weekends per month. I heard everything he does. Itās a nightmare. I feel like Iām in prison. But Iām starting to let go. Iām planning on moving without telling him. I have no choice. I canāt stay. I have to move on. I deserve better. I deserve someone who truly loves me, who doesnāt manipulate me. But thanks to this, I feel better in my body, I donāt want to be a little girl anymore, Iām a woman, Iām 25yo. I know what I want. It really helped me with anorexia. But now I have to find something to replace how good he made me feel sometimes, I have to find something to replace what always make me fall back. Iām not done with therapy ... that for sure. As always, I will get up and move on. I will recover, rebuilt myself. Iām going to start traveling again. Iām going to live again. #anorexiarecovery #ed #toxicrelationships #sky #sea #photography https://www.instagram.com/p/CRZInmlp4Jl/?utm_medium=tumblr













