darling, you're mean

spent my breaks today watching old 1d interviews and like. not one question answered in those 5 years they were together they had the training and psychological resilience of KGBs agent but over mundane shit like ‘what is this song about’. waterboarding could not extract that information from Niall’s mouth.

absolute best 1d question dodging tactic though was them all taking the world’s most awkward beat then louis saying something vaguely bitchy yet completely unintelligible in the strongest doncaster accent to grace the mortal ear (taking a minimum of 45 seconds for the human brain to decode), meanwhile zayn’s presence would simply be leaving the room in every metaphysical shape and form, and niall would be laughing in the back for no reason. lynchian. I think that’s the tactic the CIA used to convince witnesses they were having a stroke.

“a movie that feels like a movie” sorry that was just his instinctive winter soldier training you wouldn’t understand

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life but at least I’m not a Larrie