haru/ru

guys walk with me here, and prepare bcs its probably gonna be a long ass walk

i am a yapper at heart

ok so im thinking very generally along the lines of mizisuas story in zombst, but mostly bcs thats the only framework i can build off of rn

but only in the friends in highschool, one of them wants to become an idol kinda way, amongts a few more minor things

but its also based on already existing canon in gfin and the OFFICIAL IDOL AU THEY HAVE HAHAA

hirose decides he wants to be an idol, hes been told hed be great at it, and it seems fun ! so he works super hard to train and audition and eventually gets his debut !!

his training was made a lot more difficult with his distaste for authority judging his every move, but he pushed through, and it ultimately worked out, right? sure a few teachers dropped him, but that hardly matters now

on nakamuras end, he knows the idol life isnt for him, but thats ok !! he'll support his friend from the sidelines

he listened while his friend ranted about the highs and the lows of all of it, and celebrates with him when his audition went successfully

id imagine bcs of how they are in the canon, hirose tells nakamura but doesnt *really* tell anyone else about his whole idol thing

he doesnt wanna be judged for it or anything

and he knows nakamura wouldnt judge

theyve been friends since their first year in highschool, and are very close :)

nakamura, ofc, loves hirose, as he does in canon

on hirose's end, it remains unclear, also as it is in canon (to me)

hirose is not a huge hit on his debut, but he already has a little following of fans

unfortunately, his reputation starts souring a little while into his career

it all starts with his manager? (is there another word for it?) dropping him for "his blatant disrespect"

which was just him disagreeing with them over a pr thing that hirose wouldnt sway on

but then it happens again

and again

different situations but all of them had the same reason: "disrespect"

rumours spread in the industry, and starts leaking into the fan bases

about how inconsiderate and rude he actually is off stage, even though thats not the case at all

hes gained a bigger fanbase because of this, but the ones that joined after the "manager hopping" debacle, they didnt like him for his music

its more like they were waiting for him to show his "true colours"

hirose pretends it doesnt bother him, but nakamura knows somethings up whenever they hang out

its the little things, like asking to hang out at home, and kind of avoiding job talk, when he used to talk about it all the time

he doesnt even know *why* hiroses been down recently

the spark is gone and nakamura wants so badly to speak up but he cant

how can he? he has no idea what hirose is going through

partially because he doesnt know whats actually going on, hirose wont tell him and hes not deep enough in jpop idol fandoms to be in the know about this, and he would look into it but it feels invasive

but also because hes never been in this situation before, hes never been in the spotlight like hirose has been

the best he can do is try to be there for him

but unfortunately things only get worse

hirose gets confessed to by another smaller-ish idol, and she seemed kind, and she was pretty, so he said yes

things started out fine at first, but the ever present elephant in the room of their careers and the constant eyes on them grew to be too much for hirose, so he started becoming more distant

eventually they broke up, it wasnt super messy but it wasnt a clean one either

the news spread way further than he could possibly imagine

now, hirose is generally not one to let things like this affect him very much, but theres only so much he can handle

it feels like every other day hes seeing a new nasty thing being said about him somewhere

it feels like everyone everywhere is looking at him with the wrong impression

not to mention this so called "fanbase" is either defending him with so much verocity and violence, or speculating over things they have no proof on

hes only been an idol for a little under a year at this point, not to mention hes only 18, how could he possibly grapple with all this (he became an idol at 17)

so he doesnt, he just tries let the currents of his career take the lead, hoping that things die down

they do somewhat, for a time

however, he found at that the reason why the news of his relatively reserved break up became such a hot topic was because his current manager made it into a pr stunt

safe to say that hirose didnt take this lightly

and once again, another manager scared off by him

hiroses at the point where all the joy he had in this job was gone

and nakamura finally decides that he needs to look into it

he needs to say something

this whole time hes slowly watched the love of his life spiral, then grow distant

they barely even talk anymore, and when they do, he can tell hirose only does it out of obligation

it takes a bit of digging, but he eventually finds all the articles and blog posts about this and that hirose allegedly did, and the terrible things people are saying

nakamura is horrified, hirose would never be like this !

but, would he not? he feels like in a lot of ways, he doesnt really know his friend anymore

he snaps up, no, believe in hirose, talk to him

so he finally asks hirose whats wrong the next time they meet, that he can talk to him whenever about anything, he'll always listen

hirose tries to deny it but nakamura tells him that he knows about whats going on, he knows about the rumours and the manager hopping and the ex, and hes noticed, he has watched hiroses light dim right in front of him

nakamura tries to say that whether its true or not, its ok, theyll figure out something together

even he doesnt understand exactly what hiroses going through, he'll try and offer any support he can

they go quiet, and for a moment, nakamura lets himself hope that his words got to him

but in hiroses head, he zeroes in on one thing

nakamura knows

he didnt before, so he had to have looked into it

the one person he thought he could hide it all from knows and the worst thing about it is it seems like nakamura believes what people are saying about him

he is so overwhelmed all the time now

he used to be so easy going and carefree

sure he had his worries but they were all so miniscule looking back now

the pressure has built up too much and hirose bursts

he never thought hed find himself saying something so cruel to his friend, let alone snap at him that he broke his trust, and that he shouldve just gotten the hint and left it be

accuses him of thinking what people are saying about him is true, and of being a terrible friend

that he shouldve never talked to him in that first year of highschool

that he wishes nakamura would just get out his life

how far has he fallen, to have gotten so scared of honesty around the one he always trusted with truth, that he says such terrible things? as if it would make the ugly feeling in his gut go away

once he processes what he says, he is about to take it back, but the look on nakamuras face makes him realise he cant

nakamuras fears have been realised in the worst possible way, and he has nothing to say for it

so hirose runs away

hes done it plenty of times already, with everything, whats one more time?

but what is on the other side is not freedom, or peace, far from it

he doesnt even know how much time has passed, but nakamura hears about the zombie outbreak after the fight they had, and the list of the current infected victims that have been put into solitary confinement

hirose aiki is one of them

nakamura doesnt even give himself a moment to breathe before running out the door

nakamura runs and runs, all while looking for the directions of the facility theyre keeping hirose

sneaking in was weirdly easy, he was barely even hiding but he faced no pushback

even the guard at the front was asleep

did they even care about what was happening?

he snuck around the facility, slipping past the many infected people, and trying not to look at the gruesomeness this entire place overflows with

after some searching he spots a head of chestnut hair, and nakamura almost cries out of relief, but that relief is quickly overrun with horror seeing the state hirose was in

his eyes were covered with tape, and underneath he could see the rot from the infection reaching his nose and forehead

his arms and legs are marred with dark red marks, eating away at his skin

nakamura felt sick, but he had to persevere

he tried shaking hirose "awake"? was he even asleep?

whether he was asleep or not he didnt respond, just stuttered out breaths and letting out puffs of pain

nakamura realises now more than ever that needs to carry out this plan

to get hirose out and figure out a cure together, because clearly this facility is doing nothing to help

he takes the tape off the pole keeping hirose to the wall behind him, but keeps it on his face and gently eases him up

he feels so light, and the pit in nakamuras stomach grows heavier

he slumps hirose over his shoulder, and starts walking

its ok, they can get through this, once they get out of this whole mess they can finally talk and make up-

hirose stirs, and nakamura looks over at him

his eyes widen as hirose lunges at him

-

in the most twisted way possible, nakamura had his wishes of staying by hiroses side forever come true

but the cost? just about everything nakamura ever cared about

he doesnt even have the capacity to care about it that much now, his mind has rotted to the point where hes not even himself anymore

but even thats better off than hirose, whos barely even aware of his surroundings anymore

in a way, its evened out by his inevitable loss in this contest that theyre in

even if he actually had the skills of dancing and singing that hirose did, he would still lose

forever he will lose to the rotted charm that the zombie idol hirose has

and that is so much better than the alternative

damn atp i basically wrote a fanfic drabble thing

Now I haven’t read a *ton* of MatsuNaka fics but the ones I have do have a bit of a trend where Matsumura starts to like Nakamura and then he kinda drops his obsession with Hirose altogether so he can focus on courting Nakamura. Now, far be it from me to criticize how anyone writes their fics, but I don’t think it would quite work out that way.

I feel like if Matsumura *did* start liking Nakamura, he wouldn’t immediately drop his Hirose obsession. Hirose has been his focus for a long time at this point, so I can see him remaining feral regarding how cute Hirose is. But now he can use that as his in on getting closer to Nakamura.

Think about it. Matsumura managing to have one of his rarely accepted invitations actually work out, and he sneakily takes pics of Hirose as he’s enjoying a delicious snack at a cafe. Then Matsumura prints them out and keeps one in his wallet, but also frames one and gifts it to Nakamura as a present. Or he goes digging through his collection of little Hirose momentos and finds all of Hirose’s old art projects from middle school, which he brags about until Nakamura is cajoled into visiting his house to view his collection.

i didnt know going in that it was going to end in poly so when i saw it go into that direction i was estatic bcs i rarely see love triangles ACTUALLY resolve it with polyam

and it worked so well 🙂‍↕️

i would send the link but i cant? find the fic

If they did use AI to write their fic, I am disappointed and saddened, because it was very good otherwise. But I don't actually know what happened to them or if that's why they deleted or whathaveyou.

im probably not gonna say in a public reblog like this just in case tho

but man i do hope they didnt use ai that would be a huge shame ! i liked the ideas behind the fics a bunch

i do hope if they did use ai that they no longer do and use their own words to express their ideas

Now I haven’t read a *ton* of MatsuNaka fics but the ones I have do have a bit of a trend where Matsumura starts to like Nakamura and then he kinda drops his obsession with Hirose altogether so he can focus on courting Nakamura. Now, far be it from me to criticize how anyone writes their fics, but I don’t think it would quite work out that way.

I feel like if Matsumura *did* start liking Nakamura, he wouldn’t immediately drop his Hirose obsession. Hirose has been his focus for a long time at this point, so I can see him remaining feral regarding how cute Hirose is. But now he can use that as his in on getting closer to Nakamura.

Think about it. Matsumura managing to have one of his rarely accepted invitations actually work out, and he sneakily takes pics of Hirose as he’s enjoying a delicious snack at a cafe. Then Matsumura prints them out and keeps one in his wallet, but also frames one and gifts it to Nakamura as a present. Or he goes digging through his collection of little Hirose momentos and finds all of Hirose’s old art projects from middle school, which he brags about until Nakamura is cajoled into visiting his house to view his collection.

i didnt know going in that it was going to end in poly so when i saw it go into that direction i was estatic bcs i rarely see love triangles ACTUALLY resolve it with polyam

and it worked so well 🙂‍↕️

i would send the link but i cant? find the fic

Basically, Hirose is an outgoing guy with a lot of interests, lots of friends, and he’s even friendly with strangers. But he has a hard time connecting with anyone strongly because he’s not the best listener, especially if someone is going off on a subject he doesn’t care for.

He has griped to Nakamura about how Takeuchi often railroads him with his plans, and how he likes to talk about girls and dating and stuff, but Hirose has never been really into it. And, SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 13!! He also mentions that while he was dating Hana, he always felt awkward and like he couldn’t connect with her. Eventually he boils that down to just not understanding girls in general.

But I think it’s telling that Hirose seems to always make space for Nakamura once they start to really hang out, which basically begins during episode 6, when they’re in Yokohama. The two of them spend a lot of time alone, especially once Oomori breaks off to go buy souvenirs. Hirose joins Nakamura at the aquarium and knows almost instinctively that Nakamura will be at the octopus tank.

I think Hirose values quality time and connection over talking just to talk, and that’s why he connects so much with Nakamura.

Nakamura shows absolute joy on his face when he holds the octopus in his hands. It was significant enough that Hirose didn’t believe him when he brushed off his love of octopuses later, and it’s what led Hirose to knowing exactly where to go even tho Nakamura bailed on him to go into the aquarium first. (As an aside, it’s also interesting that Nakamura was willing to jump ship from hanging out with Hirose, even if Oomori had made 3, just because he an aquarium drew him in. I guess octopuses are Nakamura’s first love.)

Anyway, I think that whole conversation after, where Hirose gets real with Nakamura is because Nakamura is someone who is always willing to really listen to what he has to say. And when Nakamura responds, it’s always a genuine response. He isn’t sarcastic or dismissive. He never calls Hirose lame for not wanting to do something, or whines at him when Hirose doesn’t immediately go with whatever he says.

Nakamura can sometimes flail or yell or react unexpectedly, but!! When he is able to talk, he usually speaks softly, maybe with a little stutter, and he never says more than what he means to say. I think the major exception was when he wanted to give the octo pen to Hirose for Christmas and he couldn’t bring himself to say what he meant, but a big part of that was just awkwardness from the idea of actually gifting Hirose something that could be more meaningful than what Hirose would want, and also giving him an out to reject the gift if Hirose really didn’t want it.

and as cool and epic and awesome as it wouldve been as a lone narrative writing choice

considering the story weve had so far it was inevitably not going to happen

bcs this is nakamuras story right?

hes the little fella weve been following up until this point, and ending it with his final thoughts (for the season, i think the success of the series so far mighttt have a s2 or smthn we'll have to see !) feels appropriate for the story wanting to be told here

Also the show is from Nakamura's POV which means the way he interprets situations could b different from reality, his POV is what made the episode so heartbreaking bc he feels alone & isolated.

op is stating truth here but i do also want to add on that like

hirose is not in the wrong for going out with hana

whether he likes nakamura, whether he likes hana, whether he likes both or neither at all, he was not in the wrong

u cannot blame that kid for deciding to give the relationship with hana a shot, because why on earth would you?

did it break nakamuras heart? absolutely

and we all feel for him of course; hes the pov character and we want the best for him

but clearly, hirose didnt get into a relationship just to hurt his friend?

hes clearly a good dude, he has gone out of his way to look out for nakamura numerous times purely because nakamura is ALSO a good dude

and hirose is under no obligation to remain out of relationships for the sake of this guy who has not made himself an option to date to begin with

but i do hope it works out for the both of them, romantically or not (i can see it both ways as long as the narrative follows through with whats its been telling us so far)

I feel like Go For It Nakamura is a really good example of someone obsessing over their crush and putting them up on a pedestal. Nakamura is super relatable as a shy gay teenage character in a lottt of ways, and he's quite realistic and well written for a show that's mostly comedy. I do think one of his main "flaws" is his tunnel vision on Hirose. That's what the whole show is about though.

Episode twelve was really well done; I could really feel how devastated Nakamura was. It's especially sad because for the first time (on the show), he is confronted with the fact that he is different. And that life is going to be harder for him, and the odds seem to be stacked against him as a gay person. And that the idea of a relationship with Hirose, which he built up so much in his head, might not happen.

The thing is--- Nakamura sees Hirose through rose-colored-glasses. Yes, Hirose seems like a nice guy. But Nakamura barely knows him. Who's to say that Nakamura would even be happy with Hirose? Nakamura has decided that Hirose liking him is what will make him happy, and he has his heart set on that outcome.

I just really hope that whatever ending we get, Nakamura gets to be happy. I'll be happy if he ends up with Hirose, but I really don't expect him to, especially with only one episode left.

Anyway, I don't think the show is about Hirose; I think the title, Go For It Nakamura, could refer to Nakamura putting himself out there (in the process of trying to get Hirose's attention) and making friends at school and becoming a more confident and authentic version of himself. I know we want to see him find love but it's really not the end-all-be-all. I do think if they go the "The real 'Go For It Nakamura!' was the friends we made along the way!" route, it will be way more tasteful that what Stranger Things did.

apparently this is not a very popular opinion, which was quite the shock ! not in a bad way, i def see the points ppl make on why they think hirose does like nakamura back

but i ultimately still sit on the unrequited love side of things, and either way thats kinda just not the point isnt it?

this series is not abt hirose, nor necessarily the romance him and nakamura have (bcs there,,, isnt really one?) its more so about nakamuras experience with having a crush on this guy in class and all of the disaster that comes with being a gay, somewhat isolated teen who has no IDEA what hes doing

as op said, the idea nakamura has on hirose is SUPER idealised and romanticised, and thats the lense were also kinda seeing hirose thru, albeit with the understanding that it is idealised and romanticised

so its really hard to say how much chemistry theyd have for a deeper relationship beyond "relatively good friends"

and i kinda like that

we have so many romance stories where people get together with their crushes, both queer and non-queer

which is honestly not very realistic for what the queer experience is like

of course, most queer stories having two queer characters be happy (or not happy in the case of toxic romance, go my toxic yuri and/or yaoi) is so so great bcs we need that,,, we need the hope that it will be us

but its also nice to see someone go through super canon queer experiences like this

so its safe to say i agree with ops take crazy style

I feel like Go For It Nakamura is a really good example of someone obsessing over their crush and putting them up on a pedestal. Nakamura is super relatable as a shy gay teenage character in a lottt of ways, and he's quite realistic and well written for a show that's mostly comedy. I do think one of his main "flaws" is his tunnel vision on Hirose. That's what the whole show is about though.

Episode twelve was really well done; I could really feel how devastated Nakamura was. It's especially sad because for the first time (on the show), he is confronted with the fact that he is different. And that life is going to be harder for him, and the odds seem to be stacked against him as a gay person. And that the idea of a relationship with Hirose, which he built up so much in his head, might not happen.

The thing is--- Nakamura sees Hirose through rose-colored-glasses. Yes, Hirose seems like a nice guy. But Nakamura barely knows him. Who's to say that Nakamura would even be happy with Hirose? Nakamura has decided that Hirose liking him is what will make him happy, and he has his heart set on that outcome.

I just really hope that whatever ending we get, Nakamura gets to be happy. I'll be happy if he ends up with Hirose, but I really don't expect him to, especially with only one episode left.

Anyway, I don't think the show is about Hirose; I think the title, Go For It Nakamura, could refer to Nakamura putting himself out there (in the process of trying to get Hirose's attention) and making friends at school and becoming a more confident and authentic version of himself. I know we want to see him find love but it's really not the end-all-be-all. I do think if they go the "The real 'Go For It Nakamura!' was the friends we made along the way!" route, it will be way more tasteful that what Stranger Things did.

This is the first anime I've had to physically shut my Chromebook lid because I was genuinely too afraid of what would happen to our main characters...

I'd like to thank anyone who has continued to like any of my Witch Hat Atalier posts- It brings me joy to hear that anyone likes my stupid ramblings 🥹

Here are my current talking points in list form!!

july 2nd:

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not yet vetted:

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Maram Ashour, her husband, and their two little children, one a newborn (£0/£25,000) - @ashourmohammed

LLMs are killing the environment, and when we generate answers for the lolz we're still contributing to it.

Stop using it. Stop using it for a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. We need to kill it.

Sources:

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