Huh?

08202024

08.12.2024

I wanted to attempt keeping track of a morning. A good morning. It was good as i actively did something myself. I truly wish i lived somewhere i could survive like this but i cant right now.

05282024

I wonder if they want me to leave their island?

05262024

I went on a road trip to see people I loved.

Avoiding car sickness, avoiding falling asleep as my friend drove so i could search my mind for things to say at first i was frantic and panicking. I am in the passenger seat, dont i have a job?! Then i remembered there is safe silence. This was a friend who explained their quiet but always gave me freedom to converse, or not

So we rode quietly most of the time. Occasionally dancing and singing to the random songs, throwbacks that brought lyrics to my lips faster than I thought possible, and static as we crossed state lines and clicked around for new stations.

When the road stretched straight and easy we talked. We talked about love, the kind found in friends and how it moved us to travel so far just for a day to experience time with them. We talked about the hurt of it. Being people whose thoughts never stop, being two people who coped with it differently, one who would say little and one who would say a lot.

I spent a lot of my silent moments wondering about a friend I might of just lost. Thinking about the friends i was going to see. I wondered about the difference in my connections.

I keep pressing more and more flowers and it brings me back to my childhood.

To fun stories and moments with my mother who would fill books, page after page, with plants to make arts and gifts.

Living used to be art to me.