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@littlebumbliebee
Pinned Post!
Name: Bees!
Age: 23
I’m a Hellenic Polytheist with Schizoaffective disorder, Depressive type. I have AuDHD that can’t be medicated because ADHD meds worsen psychosis.
I’ll talk about Paganism and experiences with Psychosis and other forms of Neurodivergence and Mental Illness.
I’m an Anthropology student who likes religious studies and art and may post about that too.
Nice to meet everyone!
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No one talks about the derealization and depersonalization that can go on in schizophrenia.
Like, some days I don’t feel real - nothing feels real. Some days I catch myself acting like a character from a piece of media I’ve consumed - sometimes to the point of feeling like that character over myself. Although I often don’t know who and what I am during these moments. I lose all sense of my personality. And even if I’m not acting like a known character I sure as hell am not acting like myself, whatever that is.
Feeling like you’re part of a tv show or play or game instead of real life sometimes.
It really sucks
How to Cloud-Scry: Nepholomancy
Nephelomancy is a form of divination used when the sky is full of clouds. It is fairly easy to pick up on, and is pretty fun to share with others! As long as there are clouds to scry with, you can do it! (Perhaps you can take an empty sky as another symbol to interpret?). I love spending time cloud gazing. It is relaxing, you get to be outside, and no one really questions it. It’s not something most people would see as a divination technique just by looking at you.
Make sure you have a clear view of the sky, and you won’t hurt your neck as you look up. I like to lay on my trampoline. If you’re going to be out there for a while, consider grabbing a notebook to write down the things you see. If you can find a comfortable spot indoors near a window, that is a good option, too!
Some things to take into account while you scry and interpret are:
The speed of the clouds - This could signify how fast something will come to pass or how long a part of your life/relationship/etc. will last.
The distance between different symbols - Where they move towards could show you what will happen after the event, or what it will lead into.
Their departure - How they merge or dissipate may reveal the outcome or direction of the future.
The height and/or type of cloud - If a certain cloud is at a higher altitude due to its type, it may mean that the event/situation is farther away or not as important as other symbols.
Their texture - Are they fuzzy, blurry, and thin? Maybe they aren’t very solid yet. They could represent something that hasn’t been set in stone (really, nothing is; it may mean it isn’t a very tangible idea yet)
Their colour - they may signify where the issues at hand stand in the sense of positive, negative, neutral, etc.
Bright white puffy clouds that remain white and don’t change could show a time of happiness, while storm clouds may reveal a bumpier road. If there are two different clouds next to each other, one fluffy and white, the other grey and darker, scry using both to discern if there are competing forces at work, or multiple pathways you can take.
At sunset/dusk/etc. the colors change and shift, revealing a plethora of other meanings. Discover what the colors that appear to you most often may represent, and decide if they have meaning to you :) I happen to see a lot of pink and blue when I cloud scry, while my friend, living in the same area, tends to have more pull towards red and orange.
Direction of the wind - If you’re outside and you feel a particular wind blowing one way, it could mean a little something too. Look to where it’s pushing, up in the sky, and begin scrying with the cloud you think it might be directing you towards. It could provide some information or details you are missing.
Symbols - And of course the symbols you see are a huge part of cloud scrying. The clouds form symbols and figures for you to watch. The shapes represent a big chunk of what you’re looking at.
Picking a significator cloud is a helpful thing when getting started. I like to pick a cloud to represent me in the situation I am scrying for, and see what it transforms into. Sometimes it doesn’t move, other times it does. Patience is key in Nephelomancy.
Me, thinking I’d only ever worship Greek Gods:
Samas and Aya:
In case you need this today
- you are not a failure - you are not a waste of space - you are loved - you are wanted - i believe in you - you can do it
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Sometimes you might have intrusive thoughts. Things so horrid that you’d be afraid of anyone finding out because you presume they’d judge you horribly. They could be violent, sexual, or just plain gross or mean.
Voices, internal or auditory hallucinations, can also be that way. Maybe they’re saying awful things or telling you to be violent. Maybe what they’re saying is so abhorrent it makes you think that you’re terrible and there must be something wrong with you.
Let me just say: they are not your fault. You are not your intrusive thoughts or voices. No matter what they say it is not a reflection on you. You aren’t terrible even if they are.
And also to add to this
The Gods Do Not Judge You! They do not judge you for your intrusive thoughts or hallucinations. They will not think lesser of you!
Sometimes you might have intrusive thoughts. Things so horrid that you’d be afraid of anyone finding out because you presume they’d judge you horribly. They could be violent, sexual, or just plain gross or mean.
Voices, internal or auditory hallucinations, can also be that way. Maybe they’re saying awful things or telling you to be violent. Maybe what they’re saying is so abhorrent it makes you think that you’re terrible and there must be something wrong with you.
Let me just say: they are not your fault. You are not your intrusive thoughts or voices. No matter what they say it is not a reflection on you. You aren’t terrible even if they are.
Hathor and Horus
You think you know what a person in psychosis looks like, but you probably don't. It's not confined to someone walking down the street screaming at hallucinations or ranting to everyone about the FBI implants. And it's not an axe murderer. It can be someone quietly sitting alone. It can be someone having an anxiety attack. It can be someone who's disoriented and dissociated. It can look like anything.
I've had psychotic episodes where I simply come across as depressed and a little confused. I've had them where I'm anxious and rocking and crying but I'm not loudly proclaiming my delusion.
I've had psychotic episodes where I thought my family was being stalked and I had to harm myself to appease the beings stalking us but nobody knew. My injuries were hidden and I simply stayed inside the house.
I've had voices make me feel terrible so I just cry and talk about what an awful person I am but that just looks like low self-esteem.
It can be right under your nose.
Stop acting like you know exactly what psychosis looks like - especially if you assume people who have it are violent and out of control. If someone tells you they have psychosis or schizophrenia, don't treat them like a ticking time-bombs waiting to kill someone.
schizophrenia spectrum people who have violent urges are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement
schizophrenia spectrum people who are homeless or experience food insecurity are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement
schizophrenia spectrum people who talk out loud to hallucinations and act erratic in public are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement
schizophrenia spectrum people who cannot work or go to school because of their symptoms are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement
schizophrenia spectrum people who struggle with personal hygiene are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement
schizophrenia spectrum people who don’t want to take medication or cannot adhere to a medication regiment are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement
schizophrenia spectrum people who live with their parents as an adult or needs a carer are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement
just because someone on the schizophrenia spectrum is stereotypical or societally ostracized doesn’t take away their right to being treated with kindness, compassion, and respect and given autonomy
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If your schizospec disorder makes you, for lack of a better term, tic you’re not alone. It’s not talked about a lot, I fear, but it can happen.
I know I experience it.
Hearing that some people accuse others of not truly having schizophrenia (or other mental disorders, chronic illnesses, etc.) is appalling.
Just because they might not present as you’d expect someone to, or because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean they’re not struggling! And even if they’re not struggling that doesn’t mean they don’t have that condition!
A good 99% of the time you really shouldn’t be accusing people of faking. How do you know?
Like, c‘mon guys. Don’t be an asshole. You’re not making anyone’s life better or easier by accusing them of faking. If anything you may cause harm - so many people struggle with the thoughts they may be faking, despite the symptoms or diagnosis, and you’re NOT helping.
Listen, if you can’t do any of the Clair senses that’s fine.
I’ll never be able to use Clairaudience because I have auditory hallucinations (voices) from my schizophrenia.
Not being able to use any of the Clair senses does not make you any less than in your own practice. You can have deep, meaningful relationships with the Gods without them.
Epithets of Dionysus
Abrokomas (Ἀβροκόμας), “with delicate hair.”
Agathos Daimon (Άγαθός Δαίμων), “good spirit.”
Aglaomorphos (Άγλαόμορφος) “fair-formed.”
Agnos (Άγνος), “holy.”
Agrios (Ἄγριος), “wild, savage.”
Aigobolos (Αἰγοβόλος), “goat-slayer.”
Androgynos (Άνδρόγυνος), “androgynous.”
Anax (Ἀνᾰξ), “king.”
Anthion (Ανθιον), “the blooming.”
Anthroporraistos (Ανθροπορραιστος), “render of men.”
Thank you Zeus Ombrios for giving us the gift of rain! The Thunderer, thank you for nourishing the ground beneath us - the grass, the trees, filling great rivers and streams.
Zeus Hypatos, most supreme, thank you!
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I will say whilst I'm glad morality OCD is getting talked about a lot more lately I'm dreading the eventual "autistic sense of justice" treatment it's inevitably going to get. The morals in morality don't have to be and often aren't correct and even when they are having it doesn't make you more likely to actually act on those morals.
The idea you can obsess compulse yourself into being a good person is why your brain is tormenting you like this in the first place. Do not try and make your mental illness righteous do not treat it like good person who's too nicies disease or infantilize people over it.
“Zeus would be x!” “Zeus would be y!”
Zeus looking at the worlds current state:
