Loud Bark, Deep Bite

No one knows me! No one knows me at all!

No one knows me!

I might as well not exist!

You have no idea who I am!

Even my best best best friend and my boyfriend and my son!

Even God!

Try as you might to know my little habits, the way my face moves, the tone of my voice, no one will ever truly get it or know me.

Oh, it's such a fucking laugh. What a joke. What a funny fucking ironic ass joke.

The girl you watch every day, who you complain about her self sacrificing, who you commend on her optimism and kindness, who radiates confidence.

Fuck. I starved myself for a year once. You all complimented me on how good I looked. I tried to kill myself. Twice.

But no, no. It's fine that we all started it back up! "Oh, I didn't mean to hurt you." That's fine. Genuinely, couldn't care less. Couldn't fucking care less. I've finally relapsed. Omg, finally. You've finally given me a fucking gift.

My fingers were amongst the stars, amused by the constellations.

How far I've fallen,

Or perhaps my arms just lay tired at my side.

I still dream of a love worth writing in the stars.

To wake, fills me with grief.

To live, fills me with apathy.